Husbands anxiety

[Wright1174]

Hi
I am new to this forum and was looking for some advice regarding my husbands anxiety.
You probably think I am completely heartless in what I am about to say but I find myself getting really agitated by him I know he can't help it but I just feel like shaking him and telling him to get a grip but I can't do that as it will set him back even further
It gets really tiring sometimes as I find myself not being me putting on a front to please him and not making him upset or anxious about anything. Also I find if I have an opinion on anything that he doesn't really agree on he gets quite aggressive and puts me down. I am finding myself getting depressed and down. I love my husband dearly and wouldn't trade him for anything but just wants so help in how to deal with him aswell as myself!
His anxiety has come on in leaps and bounds in the last 8 weeks since he changed jobs he went back to a previous job so we thought the change wouldn't trigger it as he has been there before but no it's hit and hit hard! He likes structure and this firm hasn't got any so he doesn't know what he is doing from one minute to the next he drives a tracto so is quite a lonely job so his mind goes into overdrive
I am really understanding and text all day with positive thoughts and funny things but sometimes he just doesn't even reply so I think is it worth it
Also he won't go on medication as he was on it before and didn't think there was any change
Any advice would be great
Many thanks

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Wright,

My ex suffered with severe depression manifesting itself into hoarding. I understand fully the frustration and sadness this causes as i lived it for many years and it affected our marriage greatly. I tried and tried to get her to go to therapy or take meds to no avail. When our daughter (5 at the time) asked us "How come you and Mommy don't hug and kiss like other Mommys and Daddys?" she finally recognized the severity of the situation. We went to therapy and after a couple of sessions the therapist wanted to see us separately. She quit after a couple of sessions and I knew then it was over. I stayed on for a while as it helped me learn to deal with her illness and better understand it's affects on the family.

I say this because IMO, had she stayed with the therapy and made efforts to work on her mental illness, things may have turned out differently.

If your husband is not in therapy, I would encourage you offer to go together so that you both can work out what's going on and ways to heal. He needs help and you do to. He also may have to accept that meds may be necessary until he gets his feet back under him. I know it's terribly difficult to deal with someone in the throes of depression or anxiety. I just feel it would benefit both of you.

Good Luck and always...

Positive thoughts

[braindead]

Hi
I am new to this forum and was looking for some advice regarding my husbands anxiety.
You probably think I am completely heartless in what I am about to say but I find myself getting really agitated by him I know he can't help it but I just feel like shaking him and telling him to get a grip but I can't do that as it will set him back even further
It gets really tiring sometimes as I find myself not being me putting on a front to please him and not making him upset or anxious about anything. Also I find if I have an opinion on anything that he doesn't really agree on he gets quite aggressive and puts me down. I am finding myself getting depressed and down. I love my husband dearly and wouldn't trade him for anything but just wants so help in how to deal with him aswell as myself!
His anxiety has come on in leaps and bounds in the last 8 weeks since he changed jobs he went back to a previous job so we thought the change wouldn't trigger it as he has been there before but no it's hit and hit hard! He likes structure and this firm hasn't got any so he doesn't know what he is doing from one minute to the next he drives a tracto so is quite a lonely job so his mind goes into overdrive
I am really understanding and text all day with positive thoughts and funny things but sometimes he just doesn't even reply so I think is it worth it
Also he won't go on medication as he was on it before and didn't think there was any change
Any advice would be great
Many thanks

How long did he give his med a chance to work , if he quit in less than 8 weeks he probably quit the week before they may have started to work

[Wright1174]

Thanks for the replies as for his mess he took two prescriptions so 3 months worth
And the therapy I am willing to go but he not so sure which is weird because all he wants to do is talk but to me only!!!!

[GaryP]

Hi,


I have had problems with anxiety since about 2010, and I met my wife in 2006, and I can say I was a happier person when we first met her. I am now moody, angry and constantly stressed, and it's so bad I don't want to be here anymore. I'm not talking normal stress, I mean debilitating, panic and causing actual illness. I'm now signed off work, and don't even feel like I'll be able to return. I have a holiday next week, we are going to Crete, which is something we both always look forward to, but I'm kind of dreading it. She could easily have chosen someone else, but I still am the person I always was, the only problem is, it's not always evident. She gets frustrated and says things that might be hurtful, but so do I, so I just have to accept it.

[Iamhappy]

Hi Wright,

As an anxiety sufferer myself I actually think it's tougher for the people closest to you than it is for the person with anxiety - after all I know what I'm feeling and as horrible and frustrating as it is I get it but my wife for example can't feel it or understand it so just has to do her best to understand and help where she cans.
Most of the time I don't even know what I want - do I want to be left alone, so I want support? It's a mindfield and bruises my mind feels like it plays tricks on me I never know if I should trust it or not so how the hell is someone else meant to know what I want.
My only advice is be there, be patient but be there. Knowing my wife is around is the most comforting feeling on earth and that is usually enough. Tell your partner you are there as much as you can do he has that reassurance. You are doing the right thing by trying to help and don't beat yourself up. It's takes so much to be with someone with anxiety and those of you that stick through it don't get the praise you deserve in my humble opinion.

So to all the friends, families and partners out there supporting those with anxiety thank-you

[braindead]

Hi,


I have had problems with anxiety since about 2010, and I met my wife in 2006, and I can say I was a happier person when we first met her. I am now moody, angry and constantly stressed, and it's so bad I don't want to be here anymore. I'm not talking normal stress, I mean debilitating, panic and causing actual illness. I'm now signed off work, and don't even feel like I'll be able to return. I have a holiday next week, we are going to Crete, which is something we both always look forward to, but I'm kind of dreading it. She could easily have chosen someone else, but I still am the person I always was, the only problem is, it's not always evident. She gets frustrated and says things that might be hurtful, but so do I, so I just have to accept it.

i am the same has you on anxiety. my doctor let me chose 6mg lorazepam instead of a mood stabilizer, i am well tolerant to the 6mg a day but it gives me pockets of relief, i will be on them for life has i cannot or want to detox that many lorazepam