Bit of info:
I have crippling contamination OCD and health anxiety.
About a month ago I increased my dose of Lexapro from 10mg to 20mg. This cause substantial increase in anxiety and OCD, and it remained bad since then.
My biggest obsession, and has been for the past year is getting Rabies in extremely unlikely ways. in the past two weeks i've done some exposure stuff. Mostly just liking parts of my hands I think have been exposed to the virus...
Today, I've just come off a massive panic attack. I was walking along the river and felt a drop hit the skin below my eye. Note: its probably a 99% chance that it was backsplash from the coffee I was drinking, or it fell from the top of the lid when I put in on my mouth. So I felt that, and immediately I exposed myself by dragging my finger across the area and licking it. So that should be great right? WRONG, I got home and and allowed myself to see if bats where in my town or not (I've never seen one all my life). Guess what? The 1st rabies case in 20 years happened a very short distance away 2 WEEKS AGO
Now my brain is 100% sure that a rabid bat was flying overhead and drooled into my eye. The trail I was walking on is fairly popular and 5 people were in my vicinity when the drop fell. Surely someone would have noticed a rabid bad flying all over?
I just can't deal with this anymore. I'm going to the doctor on Thursday and explain why I need the vaccine. My sanity is on the line right now, I can't deal with this anymore. I know I need to work on my OCD with therapy, but this particular obsession is just too much. I know it's a ritual, but getting the vaccine will erase this fear for good. I need it
If anyone can convince me not to ask for the vaccine feel free. I'm at an all time low right now.