Fear of looking at the sun/sun's reflection.

[Twistedriddles]

So I have developed this intrusive thought. It started after the eclipse, because I thought I had damaged my eyes. I went to my eye doctor (I was due for an appointment anyway), and my eyes were fine.

Since then, though, I have developed this fear that I am going to look at the sun. Every time I accidentally look like because I'm driving and it comes into my field of vision, or I am looking up to look for something and I spot it in my vision, I freak out. I know that retina damage can take 12-24 hours to show symptoms, so for that period of time, I am panicked and convinced that I am going to go blind.

This extends to reflections of the sun off of cars when I am driving. It's become panic inducing for me to just walk outside or drive, because if I am driving behind a car and the sun is reflecting off its back windshield, it's directly in my field of vision, and it's hard for me not to look at it.

And lately, it seems like it's become MORE likely that I will look, because it's completely dominating my thoughts. Like if you tell yourself "Don't look at that thing." It's very hard to do that, because that thing is all you are thinking about. It's caused me an intense amount of misery and panic. Any advice?

[KK77]

I don't think the problem is with your eyes or the sun's glare. The problem is your HOCD creating "misery" for you, and it will continue if left untreated. Are you on any meds? There is a free CBT programme recommended by NMP if you want to take a look: http://cbt4panic.org/

Work on reducing your anxiety and stress levels and these intrusive thoughts will lessen.

[Twistedriddles]

I'm not on meds, but I am in therapy with an OCD specialist, and it is helping. It's just been a very very bad week for this particular trigger. I'm really convinced that I am going to stare at light reflection for too long and cause permanent damage.

Edit:

And thank you for the link. I will definitely take a look.

[KK77]

I can only offer reassurance that you would have to look directly at the sun, which is very difficult without squinting anyway, for you to cause permanent damage. Reflection or glare will just irritate your eyes.

Keep sunglasses handy with you in meantime

[Twistedriddles]

Yeah. I just got some sunglasses that fit over my regular glasses, so I can be more assured that I have proper protection. But... searching online (which I'm totally aware is a terrible idea when you have OCD, but is also hard to avoid) has told me that reflections of sunlight can be just as harmful. Nothing specific to reflections off of car windshields, but since it's still reflection, it seems also bad. I mean, I guess rationally I have to assume that some of that light passes through the windshield, and so the whole of the sun is not reflected back at me the way it is in a flat silver mirror, but it is very hard to stop that particular thought spiral. Thank you for taking the time to talk with me, though. I really appreciate it.

[au Lait]

If accidentally looking at the sun and/or its reflection could cause blindness, we'd all be blind by now. There is no way you could damage your eyes simply from doing either of those things. Think how many times the average person accidentally looks at the sun. And how many people do you know who have gone blind that way? Your eyes are healthy. You can shake this fear.

[Twistedriddles]

If accidentally looking at the sun and/or its reflection could cause blindness, we'd all be blind by now. There is no way you could damage your eyes simply from doing either of those things. Think how many times the average person accidentally looks at the sun. And how many people do you know who have gone blind that way? Your eyes are healthy. You can shake this fear.

Thanks. I'm really trying. I'm going to talk to my therapist about it on Friday. It's really hard for me not to panic every time I end up looking at the sun right now, though.

[EmpatheticMonkey]

Hey Riddles,

I was wondering if you were able to overcome this, and had any tips to share. I have struggled with OCD most of my life. Recently, I developed a phobia of becoming blind from bright lights, checkout lasers, & especially the sun. This is one of the only posts I found that I truly connected with.

I want to seek refuge but force myself to go out. I find myself squinting, or trying to shield my eyes more than often. Having difficulty looking up, as I find myself more exposed when I do.

My biggest concern is like you stated, the more I try and ignore the suns reflection, the more I feel like I am exposing myself to potential damage. While trying to avoid the reflection off cars, windshields, mirrors, etc. I have almost become a radar that shifts my eyes to any change in contrast. I always shift away ASAP, but it seems avoiding is nearly impossible. This manifests itself into the fear of me increasing my exposure to above "average" thus resulting in permanent damage.

Thoughts?

[callmeJ]

I thought maybe this was just me. I could have literally typed your post myself. Started with the eclipse as well. My mind recently moved onto something worse to focus on and so it has eased up some. I’m not as anxious about it but I am still aware of the sun and avoid looking at it.

[Carnation]

I'm reviving this thread after looking out of the window today the sun caused a temporary blind spot partially in my right eye. It lasted about 15-20 seconds. I wasn't even looking at the sun but in its direction.
I also get blob effects from reflections off of a car sometimes. Anyone else had similar? Is all this normal?