Hello

I'm back after first joining here in 2011 :(

I suffer badly with anxiety and panic. I was signed off work back in 2011 and again in 2015 as panic took over and I was too scared to leave the house. My husband and I divorced 2 years ago, he left just as I was about to go back to work but I pulled myself together, took propranolol and went back to work and got my life back on track. Things have been good but since earlier this year I have felt myself getting more and more stressed out and I haven't listened to the warning signs and I've gotten run down. I've ended up with a bad case of sinusitis and it's really knocked me. I am back to panicking in the car or when out. I haven't been at work for nearly a month and following a visit to the GP on Monday I have asked for something to help me til I get CBT (4 month waiting list). My GP knows I am terrified of taking meds, She has prescribed me alsorts over the years but the only thing I take is propranolol which i have just recently increased due to the symptoms coming through :( I explained to her that I can't drive anywhere, I am scared of everything, I feel pathetic! I am 43 years old and the main carer for my autistic son who is 20. I have condensed my hours at work to get him out and about on my day off as he would happily not leave the house. But here I am too scared to leave the house too! I have felt these anxiety symptoms coming back for the past 3/4 months. It's been stressful at work and I have also come out of a short relationship which really upset me. I think I'm just worn out and I don't feel strong enough to fight the panic on my own til the CBT appointment. I can't go back to having 3/4 months off work like last time. I need to be better and I need to be rid of panic once and for all so....

My GP has prescribed me Clompramine 10mg to take before bed. She advised it's different to the newer antidepressants so may suit me better. I have tried a half dose of citalopram years ago and it totally freaked me out and has actually given me a medication phobia. I felt ill off it, like I was wired and my body was asleep. An awful awful sensation.

She actually seemed quite optimistic that this drug would suit me and i left thinking maybe this will help. Roll on getting home and reading anything and everything and I'm terrified! Is anyone currently taking this and if so, for anxiety / panic? How have you gotten on? Does it rid you of panic? Will it make me feel as bad as the citalopram - it works the same way if not stronger I believe. I'm so scared but I don't want to be this version of me anymore :(