Take Responsibility

[CleverLittleViper]

If there's one thing I've started to notice that is common amongst anxiety-sufferers, it is that few people accept responsibility for their anxiety. They can know certain habits are bad but they keep doing it because "they can't help it."

For example, perhaps the most prevalent habit amongst those that suffer with HA, is the habit to constantly consult Dr Google. So, they type in whatever symptom it is they're facing at that moment, and read all kinds of stuff, and then fly off into a panic. All under the guise that they cannot help themselves.

How true is it that you can't stop doing the habits that are keeping you trapped in this cycle? Is that you can't stop or is it really that you won't stop?

Continuing with the Google thing because it is one of those habits that is perhaps the most common and possibly the most damaging to those with HA, you know it is bad and hurting you, yet you do it anyway. It's not a matter of not being able to help yourself. Every time you open up a new tab, click "Google," type in the words and click search, you're making a choice. It's time to take responsibility for that choice.

It is only when we take responsibility for our anxiety and the choices we make can we progress to making better choices, and actually get on the road to recovery. If you sit on your hands and say, "Well, I couldn't help doing x, y and z," then you will get what you deserve. Which is to remain where you are, until you can admit that you're doing it to yourself.

If you genuinely want to get better, and get unstuck from the glue that is anxiety, your choices have to reflect that goal. You have to actively pursue recovery, and that means leaving behind the old habits that have kept you stuck. So, no more Google, no more making endless doctor appointments (unless to discuss and deal with your anxiety) no more reassurance-seeking.

It's hard, no doubt about it. It takes work, endurance, willpower, and the understanding that there will be times where you slip back into old habits, and then gaining the motivation to pull yourself back out. You can only do this by taking responsibility for yourself.

[pulisa]

Great post but I doubt whether you will get much response because it makes uncomfortable reading for most people who regularly use the HA forum to discuss and compare their symptoms with others who are addicted to Dr Google.

Being responsible for your mental health gives you power and strength to turn away from self destructive behaviours.

[AntsyVee]

Yes, I completely agree with both of you, but like Pulisa says, it will probably fall on deaf ears. In therapy many of us work hard to get out of the victim mentality...to move through the “why me?” to the “what can I do about it?” Most people on here have not started that journey yet.

[melfish]

I need to get past my disease conviction first.

[pulisa]

I think that this forum can be a "comfortable" place for those with HA and any challenging of the tea and sympathy approach is not welcome. It's easier just to carry on posting for reassurance rather than take responsibility for moving away from this unhelpful habit.

---------- Post added at 20:17 ---------- Previous post was at 20:16 ----------

I need to get past my disease conviction first.

You know what you need to do..

[melfish]

You know what you need to do..

See a doctor? Too afraid

[Midnight-mouse]

Although I do agree completely, compulsions are a b*tch. It isn't easy and often people will find themselves in the same old traps just trying to ease the compulsive side of the conditions and it's not always for lack of trying or being responsible for ones own mental Heath.


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[pulisa]

Although I do agree completely, compulsions are a b*tch. It isn't easy and often people will find themselves in the same old traps just trying to ease the compulsive side of the conditions and it's not always for lack of trying or being responsible for ones own mental Heath.


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But does this ease the compulsive side? Or is this a "yes but" scenario? I know I'm being tough here and no it isn't easy but it can be done.

[Midnight-mouse]

But does this ease the compulsive side? Or is this a "yes but" scenario? I know I'm being tough here and no it isn't easy but it can be done.

Well on one hand it satisfies the compulsion, but it solidifies the cycle which makes it even harder in the future. I am by no means disagreeing with you, if I'm honest breaking some of the more harmful compulsions in my own mental health has probably been the hardest thing I've had to do, I'm still left with some that don't negatively impact my life that right now I don't have the fight for, thankfully the war on google has been fought and I'm quite confident in saying it won't be coming back.

I think a lot of the time on the HA board people know full well in themselves that what they are experiencing is anxiety, otherwise why post on an anxiety board? These things take an awful amount of time and sometimes talking things over is the first step to realising the need for taking full responsibility over our thoughts and actions, I know this was the case for myself and I still often have to talk through intrusive thoughts in order to acknowledge them and move on, as opposed to falling down the google rabbit hole.

Please don't take this that I'm in disagreement that ultimately the only way to truly move forward is to take completely responsibility and control, but until a person is ready to take those steps then some patience for those still stuck in the google trap is needed although difficult, because of course everyone would prefer it just to click "oh I'm being anxious - never mind" or "I'm never going to get better if i keep doing this" sometimes people just haven't got it in them to fight that much. we all have bad days for me it's how a person comes back from those bad times that's important as that's ultimately where we are going to improve and grow.

[atl]

This is the best thread I have read on here.

There is nothing more guaranteed to keep the anxiety cycle going than seeking reassurance. But it's so hard to break. Unfortunately I am guilty of it as well.

Sometimes not "checking" can be so difficult when it becomes almost second nature.