Can anybody recommend a wash basket?

[venusbluejeans]

What do you think you bring to the community here? Why do you think your absence would be a loss?

(replying as a member and not as admin) The answers to these questions are.....He brings frustration and exasperation to the other members on here due to his refusal to accept any responsibility for his own mental illness and refusal to take any advice given. As for help he has given to others on this forum I can count the times he has helped others on Cerrie Burnell's (look her up... amazing woman) right hand!

As for what a loss it would be? it would certainly be quieter.... up to personal opinion if that would be a loss or not.

Phil have you ever shared your threads on here with your wife?? I think it could be good for you to have her imput.... Also do not delete this thread just to then start a new thread up.. otherwise that new thread will also be deleted by admin.

[BlueIris]

I know Cerrie Burnell, she's fantastic

[venusbluejeans]

I know Cerrie Burnell, she's fantastic

x

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think it's worth being careful when considering what we bring here as I don't recall there being a stipulation to do anything. It's valuable to point out the importance of giving back but best without judgement of members which is where this may descend.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Be a shame if I have to delete my topic again to get my point across.

I hope you don't. For a start you've had tons of support on this thread and I think you should consider the message it would send. It looked ungrateful when you did it last time and a whole load of advice that others could follow was erased. If a thread is going in a direction you don't like Admin can always look at locking it or getting it back on topic if possible. But doing it to avoid hard questions is not the answer and no one is under any obligation to answer anything on here anyway so again Admin are around if things are getting difficult. But consider whether you are being asked because someone is trying to help you or acting out of frustration. The latter we have Admin guidance on. And you can try to help others regardless if being recovered or not, people who recover don't stick around here much, but more than this support networks should be about helping each other. Those that are severe are understandable in that they aren't in the right place to give their energy but those who aren't can afford too yet some just don't which is hardly gracious.

[Carys]

I am responding to your first post here Terry, and not the second which I agree with entirely. I presume your first post is also about 'helping others', though it isn't entirely clear to me if that is all that is being talked about. No, of course, there is no stipulation for inputting on the forum to others and neither should there be. However, I think, sometimes, just sometimes, someone deserves and needs the sort of response they would be given in the real world - as a learning process. It isn't socially acceptable to expect people to be 'on call' to you, giving advice, praise and feedback constantly with nothing in return - it is acceptable of course if you have employed people for that purpose, but not if you have joined a 'community'. There is an unwritten expectation (lets call it a hope) that at some point, certainly after years, that the poster will show some interest in somebody else or a slight ability to look outside their own box and realise that this is a place where others are also struggling. For a person who has only taken from people, with no thanks given, and viewed them as a resource to then lodge a complaint periodically about various aspects they aren't happy with about the people who have responded to them, is extraordinary. This complete lacking awareness is something has been gently commented on in the past, but, awareness isn't coming to Phil easy lol So, yes, frustration of course sets in and the feeling of being offended. Thats the world, thats life, thats understandable. I don't know where I'm going with this rambling monologue, but I guess what I'm saying is that I do think although there is no stipulation of needing to reply to others, it would be a very positive thing for Phil to learn about and certainly an expectation that when you 'take' in life then you should also try and 'give' back is a positive one. Anyway, I think that brings me to your second post which does indeed mention these aspects of 'community', so maybe I'm agreeing with you actually lol

[BlueIris]

Terry, I thought long and hard before typing my comments. You're right, absolutely - one of the wonderful things about this community is the way it offers more or less unconditional support.

While I won't deny I get frustrated, my question was genuine; I was hoping it might encourage Phil to consider his actions and how they impact on others.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Carys, whilst I agree with much of what you say I'm just concerned we will get into a popularity contest. It's easily highlighted with repetitive posters but there are many who ask but don't support/advise. It's frustrating but other than encourage people there is little else that can be done. What we bring is subjective so we might find opinions vary. If we are going to start asking that then it might get asked back too.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Terry, I thought long and hard before typing my comments. You're right, absolutely - one of the wonderful things about this community is the way it offers more or less unconditional support.While I won't deny I get frustrated, my question was genuine; I was hoping it might encourage Phil to consider his actions and how they impact on others.

Thanks for the clarification, Blue. I hope others will realise it was a genuine question trying to get Phil to think outside of himself. This will be worth highlighting if it morphs into something else as has happened many a time when other frustrated posters add their own takes.

[Carys]

Yes, I do see what you mean, its not of course about popularity or who offers most. I think in essence my opinions come from the fact that the OP actually removing themself from their own small box might be helpful/enlightening and important skills would be learnt that could be integrated into many life situations (and many things he talks about being problems). You are right though, nobody can make anybody and there are others who do the same less obviously. I do support the question Blue asked, I think it was valid and lets be honest many others are thinking the same reading the years of threads. Sometimes being 'unconditional' in offerings also involves being treated like sh**e - and that shouldn't happen and isn't fair either.

What we bring is subjective so we might find opinions vary. If we are going to start asking that then it might get asked back too.

I don't get these bit though ;o)