Can anybody recommend a wash basket?

[Carys]

Well by being a strict parent this would not happen.

Thats ridiculous Phil! Sorry, but totally and utterly ridiculous. You can't stop babies being babies!

Babies puke, cos they do....projectile vomiting right across the room, or bringing up their milk, some of them. Baby boys wee occasionally when you change their nappies, accidentally, in your face.Nappies are dirty and full of poo. Toddlers are just walking babies, you can't stop them being toddlers/children, who DO that type of thing. You can parent like an oppressive dictator if you like, and I bet they still do things like that.
Children deserve the right to be children, have understanding and an innocent joy in their lives.

Well it’s not great is it.

I mean she usually respects my mental health however this was one of the few times she triggered my anxiety

Sorry, so, she pussyfoots around and washes her hands as and when you want? She avoids 'contamination' for you? This is your issue Phil, not hers. Whilst I sympathise with your problem, which clearly is tormenting you, this isn't about it being the fault of the rest of the world (as Scass said)

[pulisa]

You can't control babies.

[phil06]

By "respecting" your mental health do you mean that she turns a blind eye to it..?

Well she seems to back me replacing the stuff because she thinks I will think it’s clean once again. She doesn’t understand but she sees why I want to.

---------- Post added at 21:03 ---------- Previous post was at 21:01 ----------

Well my partners sister stays with her mum more than her partner so to be honest I have thought about it and those early years would be skipped for me if she stays at her mums too. Plus I wouldn’t have anymore than one at most if any

---------- Post added at 21:03 ---------- Previous post was at 21:03 ----------

Like I say when I was growing up I remember being shouted at by my mum for touching stuff

[Carys]

Well my partners sister stays with her mum more than her partner so to be honest I have thought about it and those early years would be skipped for me if she stays at her mums too.

Hands on parenting then !!!! Bizzarre

[phil06]

Right now I’m finding it difficult I need some help because I don’t know if replacing every item from the bag is enough or if I need to replace more.

I can’t decide in my head if the mobile phone touching the headphones from the bag means I have to avoid everything until I get a new mobile.

---------- Post added at 21:06 ---------- Previous post was at 21:05 ----------

Hands on parenting then !!!! Bizzarre

I know lots of people who have families and have people watch them for them seems quite popular these days

---------- Post added at 21:07 ---------- Previous post was at 21:06 ----------

I recently had her sister staying this caused me anxiety as her clothes went on floor!

[pulisa]

So potential children would be included on your "to do" list but you would have other people looking after them?

You need to keep as many pieces of technology as possible in pristine condition and "untainted" to impress others?

Your partner isn't interested in your mental health and neither is your family?

[phil06]

So potential children would be included on your "to do" list but you would have other people looking after them?

You need to keep as many pieces of technology as possible in pristine condition and "untainted" to impress others?

Your partner isn't interested in your mental health and neither is your family?

Yes it’s on my to do list.

Yes but not sure it’s to impress others my theripst says it’s all about keeping me safe. I’m unable to accept transference of germs from dirty washing, toilet germs and bin rubbish. This is my three main areas.

Someone mentioned sick this isn’t on my list I was once sick In my old house and it never caused me any stress.

My ocd is very selective. Nobody can tell me why I think this way despite me trying with a theripst and on messages boards. It’s contradictory because for example I touched my last phone after touching an item of my partners which had been in her suitcase next to dirty washing. I never gave it a second thought.

Does it worry me now I know? No. Did I think my last phone was contaminated? No.

My head finds these select situations almost like picking an order in McDonald’s self service and it picks out scenarios and I worry over them and I want to replace the item to keep me safe or to feel relaxed that the items are not dirty.

I said various times the germs don’t worry me I don’t fear catching anything I don’t fear getting ill.

The issue is the mere idea that some germs may contaminate an item meaning I need that “just new” feeling so I don’t have the negative thoughts.

It’s that simple maybe you can get to the bottom of this because I’m struggling?

---------- Post added at 21:19 ---------- Previous post was at 21:19 ----------

And yes they dismiss these worries they don’t listen and would rather not hear

[pulisa]

So you want to have everything pristine and new all the time with selected items..

(Hopefully this won't include potential children..)

But it's not about contamination-just a sense of "perfection" which soothes you and makes you feel safe (from what?)

You have mentioned before about a need to impress others though..With your ability to buy bigger and better stuff than others?

---------- Post added at 21:28 ---------- Previous post was at 21:24 ----------

What is it about "newness" that you crave? The fact that nobody else has touched it (as far as you know?), The fact that it just feels "right" and if it feels right then nothing will go wrong and you will be in control of your life?

---------- Post added at 21:32 ---------- Previous post was at 21:28 ----------

But sometimes there are no answers and it just feels "right". I know how OCD can be very selective and illogical.

Does your partner know that you intend to get her to raise your children at her Mum's?

[phil06]

So you want to have everything pristine and new all the time with selected items..

(Hopefully this won't include potential children..)

But it's not about contamination-just a sense of "perfection" which soothes you and makes you feel safe (from what?)

You have mentioned before about a need to impress others though..With your ability to buy bigger and better stuff than others?

---------- Post added at 21:28 ---------- Previous post was at 21:24 ----------

What is it about "newness" that you crave? The fact that nobody else has touched it (as far as you know?), The fact that it just feels "right" and if it feels right then nothing will go wrong and you will be in control of your life?

---------- Post added at 21:32 ---------- Previous post was at 21:28 ----------

But sometimes there are no answers and it just feels "right". I know how OCD can be very selective and illogical.

Does your partner know that you intend to get her to raise your children at her Mum's?

Yep she knows it would be like that.

Impressing others yes perhaps my stag night post i mentioned ex footballer.

I have always liked something new but I usually keep stuff a while like this camera had for a few years

Touching dirty washing was out my boundaries though for me this was a big thing. Only replacing will help me.

My theripst mentioned I can’t live my life guading on how I feel. Like I’m like this with the honeymoon she even thinks it’s a bit superstitious I worry where to go I worry about long train journeys and flying.

I have been able to cope without letting anxiety rule however right now I feel I do everything in my life based on a dial how anxious I feel. Some days I feel very ill with anxiety.

I just don’t know why I select certain issues

[Carys]

Yep she knows it would be like that.

So, you aren't going to be part of the life, of your baby, build a relationship or get involved? What a sad situation.


Why are these potential children on your 'to do' list, when you don't intend on bringing them up? Why have children if you don't even want to have them around? Phil, sorry, but I'm really struggling with this is makes no sense.



Children aren't like ipads that you can change for a new fresh untainted one, they are innocents that deserve a loving family, who want to be with them and share their lives with them (whatever that family may be like, single parents, gay parents, adoptive parents etc). Children are a life-long committement. I'm going to need to leave this thread Phil, I honestly can't cope with thinking of children having to be told that they aren't living with Daddy as he doesn't want their germs near him.