Fear of developing others' OCD?

[LiveAboveIt]

Going through benzo withdrawal currently and it has my anxiety amped up to a severe level. I began to experience my usual Sensorimotor OCD issues around breathing, that always seem to crop up during medication withdrawal or onset.

I have been diagnosed with GAD and OCD Tendencies.. Never experienced any true forms of OCD until I began to get prescribed medication for anxiety.

Now I have this irrational fear, that if anxiety can bring on my Sensorimotor OCD, I'm worried that I will develop another form of OCD, just by thinking/reading about it.

I'm so scared of my brain right now, lol. I'm just not thinking rationally lately and I keep getting obsessed/fixated on these fears.

I don't have much experience with OCD, besides being afraid of becoming aware of autonomic bodily functions. It's gone away in the past, when my anxiety levels dropped and I became unafraid of it. Have never had therapy for it.

Does anyone have any advice?

[djsouthboi247]

Hi. No you won't develop others' obsessions. OCD doesn't work like that. You have anxiety. I once talked about my obsession regarding sexuality with a friend who also had an obsession with religion and God. It didn't bother him. OCD is a very strange thing. It doesn't just suddenly attack. It makes its way slowly without the person realizing that he/she is about to fall in the rabbit hole. So no, you will not get influenced by other's obsessions. You just have anxiety. No need to fear.

[MyNameIsTerry]

You are not the first person that I talked to on here that said this. I remember a guy who worried about talking to others with anxiety as he feared he would take on their form of anxiety.

Within OCD there is a curious theme known as Emotional Contamination. It's a bit like this but it's focussed more on taking on negative character traits of someone you fear as toxic. That's not that far removed from other "loss of control" type worries on the Pure O end. The EC sufferer might worry about becoming narcassistic, a sociopath, etc. So, no different really in theme than the violence, sexual, type OCD themes except that it is a fear of external influence like some of the other themes e.g. fear of poisoning in Contamination. I would put money on someone with the EC theme being a really good person, hence their fear of becoming someone they view as bad, immoral, evil, etc. Just the same as the terrified doting loving parent with POCD or the person with violence in their theme who has never been anything other than a good person who is not violent in the least.

Like djsouthboi247 mentions about how curious OCD is, it has a nasty habit of looking for your Achilles Heel. Some themes just don't bother me at all. Contamination worries have never been much of anything for me, I can be the pig in... but someone with Contamination themes just couldn't be so casual about it.

If you decide to obsess & obsess over something though, you can build a fear around it. Standard core belief stuff really but that's not limited to OCD.

Given the benzo withdrawal, and I hope things are going well for you now, that is going to be putting all sorts of strange fears & thoughts into your head. Try to dismiss them, think of it as the subconscious working through a checklist - "how about X? No. Ok", "how about Y then?". Try to limit your reaction to it all...which may be some achievement when going through benzo withdrawal, but if you can it can only help and if you can't, you can work on it later once you get that stuff out of your system.

As for the guy I knew who had these fears? He did take some on (which is going to happen when you obsess, and to be honest some what he mentioned can be experienced by anyone when getting more severe (e.g. a short period of Agoraphobia as you withdraw more)) but others he feared, he didn't take on at all. That suggests it's not a matter of simply being able to do so, and again it can/may be partly down to an individual's types of fears, insecurities, morals, etc.

[LiveAboveIt]

You are not the first person that I talked to on here that said this. I remember a guy who worried about talking to others with anxiety as he feared he would take on their form of anxiety.

Within OCD there is a curious theme known as Emotional Contamination. It's a bit like this but it's focussed more on taking on negative character traits of someone you fear as toxic. That's not that far removed from other "loss of control" type worries on the Pure O end. The EC sufferer might worry about becoming narcassistic, a sociopath, etc. So, no different really in theme than the violence, sexual, type OCD themes except that it is a fear of external influence like some of the other themes e.g. fear of poisoning in Contamination. I would put money on someone with the EC theme being a really good person, hence their fear of becoming someone they view as bad, immoral, evil, etc. Just the same as the terrified doting loving parent with POCD or the person with violence in their theme who has never been anything other than a good person who is not violent in the least.

Like djsouthboi247 mentions about how curious OCD is, it has a nasty habit of looking for your Achilles Heel. Some themes just don't bother me at all. Contamination worries have never been much of anything for me, I can be the pig in... but someone with Contamination themes just couldn't be so casual about it.

If you decide to obsess & obsess over something though, you can build a fear around it. Standard core belief stuff really but that's not limited to OCD.

Given the benzo withdrawal, and I hope things are going well for you now, that is going to be putting all sorts of strange fears & thoughts into your head. Try to dismiss them, think of it as the subconscious working through a checklist - "how about X? No. Ok", "how about Y then?". Try to limit your reaction to it all...which may be some achievement when going through benzo withdrawal, but if you can it can only help and if you can't, you can work on it later once you get that stuff out of your system.

As for the guy I knew who had these fears? He did take some on (which is going to happen when you obsess, and to be honest some what he mentioned can be experienced by anyone when getting more severe (e.g. a short period of Agoraphobia as you withdraw more)) but others he feared, he didn't take on at all. That suggests it's not a matter of simply being able to do so, and again it can/may be partly down to an individual's types of fears, insecurities, morals, etc.

Thank you, Terry. How did you know about the benzo withdrawal stuff? That's literally EXACTLY what I am going through. It's like my anxiety is on speed and it's unmanageable. I have so much random fear and it just attaches to everything. So many anxious thoughts that seemingly just pop into my head, as if forcefed from someone else.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thank you, Terry. How did you know about the benzo withdrawal stuff? That's literally EXACTLY what I am going through. It's like my anxiety is on speed and it's unmanageable. I have so much random fear and it just attaches to everything. So many anxious thoughts that seemingly just pop into my head, as if forcefed from someone else.

They are well known to cause rebound anxiety if you drop them off too quickly or cold turkey them. I've read about people who've been through rebound and it's anxiety ramped up big time in a similar way to the over activation issues you get when you start antidepressants.

When I started my SNRI and hit the "N" threshold my anxiety went crazy. I couldn't sit down for about 3 hours after getting up and stood around in the kitchen. I felt like I was bouncing off the walls.

That's what it sounds like you are going through, but from benzo withdrawal.

You have already had so many problems with racing thoughts so increasing your anxiety levels will intensify such symptoms. In OCD, raising anxiety levels just magnifies it all. The same applies when you reduce them.