Cervical and uterine pain and symptoms

[O_O]

Hi guys!

Just thought I'd pop by, see how everyone is doing?

I'm doing ok. I'm working hard, and my job is going pretty well. I try to fill my spare time with voluntary work, particularly at the Sue Ryder Hospice near me. Before, I was by myself for a lot of the time, so all I really did was think about myself, and I'm glad that I can think about other people and try to help them instead now. I'm seeing my friends as well, and still dating.

I have been feeling a bit depressed lately. Barely anxious at all, just depressed. Two pretty big lumps came up on my neck a fortnight ago, and I haven't even been bothered. I wasn't going to go to the doctor until my mum freaked out and said I had to go. The doctor thinks they're just big reactive lymph nodes, which is what I thought, and is going to do some tests in a week if they haven't gone down. I think one of them might have gone down a little. But I don't really care either way. I feel like I don't care much what the lumps are. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad sign.

I've been feeling quite lonely. I'm 31 now, and I really want a family of my own. Ideally a husband and a couple of children, but I'd be really happy with a nice boyfriend. Or just one child by myself. Just some sort of family. I've been dating for over two years and haven't met anybody I could even remotely see myself in a long term relationship with. I've had sex exactly 7 times in the last two plus years, which is pretty lame for someone my age! I know that my fertility issues aren't getting any better, either.

The only person I can completely rely on is my mother (I know I'm lucky to have even one person) but she is 70 this year and I'm scared of losing her. Thinking about it makes me tear up a bit. I hope she has at least another decade, and I hope by that time I will have more people in my life to love and who love me. I get a bit worried about how I'll look after my parents when they're older if I don't have anybody to help me. I don't know how I'll manage it alone.

So I've been feeling a bit depressed. I'm still functioning normally though, and doing all the things I should be doing (I think). But my life is a long way from what I want it to be, and although I've been working very hard to foster healthy habits and build a fulfilling life I don't feel that I'm objectively any closer to having my own family - even a non-conventional family - and that's hard to deal with.

[WiseMonkey]

Hi there, keep dating because one of these days someone functional will appeal

Well I have great news, my eldest daughter (who has endometriosis and one compromised fallopian tube) is 18 weeks pregnant, baby due end of July) so excitement all round... this is my first grandchild. She's 35 in April, she and her partner have been together 5 years now. They don't want to know the sex of baby, just that it's healthy. She had an early miscarriage last year but this one is just fine. She's been very sick but is now coming right

This is meant to be an encouraging post for you as this has all happened to my daughter over the last 5 years, a lovely new partner and a planned for pregnancy against the odds of her having one (due to her gynae issues). Hopefully it all progresses well to a great outcome and the same can happen for you x

[O_O]

Hi Wise, that's great news about your daughter glad everything is working out so well for you guys. Yes, I'd absolutely love a similar outcome for myself! Hopefully it's possible. As a bonus, it would be so lovely for my parents to become grandparents. As I said, my mum is 70 this year and my dad is 75, so they won't have a huge amount of time with any future grandchildren. I'm very grateful that my dad's girlfriend's daughter, who's my age, has two boys, and my dad really enjoys being a sort of surrogate grandad. At least he has had that experience, even if he doesn't get any blood grandchildren.

[WiseMonkey]

Hi Wise, that's great news about your daughter glad everything is working out so well for you guys. Yes, I'd absolutely love a similar outcome for myself! Hopefully it's possible. As a bonus, it would be so lovely for my parents to become grandparents. As I said, my mum is 70 this year and my dad is 75, so they won't have a huge amount of time with any future grandchildren. I'm very grateful that my dad's girlfriend's daughter, who's my age, has two boys, and my dad really enjoys being a sort of surrogate grandad. At least he has had that experience, even if he doesn't get any blood grandchildren.

Thanks O_O, I know what you mean about 'a sort of surrogate grandad'/grandparent, as my fiance's youngest daughter had a baby boy July 2018 and I've enjoyed being part of his little life. Knowing him has definitely activated my interest in babies, as I never thought I'd have any biological grandies due to my eldest with her gynae issues and my youngest daughter (32) who has chosen not to have any.

You shouldn't feel any pressure to have a child because your mother and father only had one child, as it was their choice, they likely could have had more or adopted another. After I married, my mother used to moan to me about having no grandchildren like all her friends had (cos everything's all about her) so I used to say "you should have have more children if you want lots of grandchildren," that used to close her down for a while!! I have a brother who is 9 years younger than me.

I've never put any pressure on my two daughters to have children, they've both got great careers and it's their choice what they want to do with their lives.

My eldest and her partner had seen a fertility specialist for tests, but conceived naturally. They were prepared to look at other options if there had been difficulties

[O_O]

Hi Wise, my parents were desperate to have more children but unfortunately my mum kept miscarrying. The last miscarriage nearly killed her so she had to stop trying after that. I'd like multiple children too but I'd be so happy with just one. It's not for my parents, though that's a bonus! They'd certainly never pressure me into anything. They never even mention it if I don't. But I know they probably assumed I'd be married with kids by now. And I wish I was, more than anything.

Having been entirely unconcerned about my neck lumps I've woken up this morning feeling quite frightened 🤦🏻*♀️ so I'm gonna make a post about that now.