Cervical and uterine pain and symptoms

[O_O]

So 2 consultants at private clinics have told you that it is essential to undergo IVF within a year in order to stand a chance of pregnancy? And you have already conceived 4 times?

No, but they said that given my ovarian reserve it would be prudent to proceed within the next year. In a year's time my AMH could be less than 7 and my odds would be even lower than they are now.

I've been pregnant twice. I did fall pregnant easily, but that was a year and a half ago now, and who knows why I miscarried That's what I'm trying to find out! Potentially the babies could have had chromosomal abnormalities due to poor egg quality. Which is another thing I can protect against with IVF, since I can have screening on the embryos

[pulisa]

Sorry, I thought you said that you didn't want to suffer another 4 miscarriages..

I presume you sadly had early miscarriages? I know it's no consolation but sometimes this just happens for no alarming reason. It's such early days to start hugely invasive tests/procedures in my opinion. IVF isn't a walk in the park and mentally it's very demanding. Your plans for motherhood sound very clinical.

[O_O]

My first miscarriage was early, only 3 weeks or so, but the second was a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks after seeing a normal foetus with a strong heartbeat. It died at 9 weeks, apparently, not long after my scan... but my body just clung onto it for some reason. It's unusual to have two miscarriages in a row, and very unusual for the baby to die after everything looks normal.

My mum had five or six miscarriages.

The doctors agree there is probably something wrong. Could be poor egg quality (in which case IVF will solve the problem) or, more likely, an autoimmune issue. Autoimmune issues can cause diminished ovarian reserve, thyroid problems, and other problems that I have.

I've been referred to see an endocrinologist soon to hopefully get to the bottom of it.

Believe me, if I could be in a loving relationship and just have a baby normally then I would. The only two things I want are a husband and a baby. Pretty normal things, that most people don't have very much trouble with!

I might have to do without the husband, but I'm not going to give up on motherhood yet.

[pulisa]

See the endocrinologist first before you make any major decisions re IVF?

[O_O]

See the endocrinologist first before you make any major decisions re IVF?

Well, the IVF is for the diminished ovarian reserve really. Time is against me. My chances aren't great as it is and they'll only get worse. It's a difficult truth, and absolutely not what I wanted for myself, but it is what it is.

The autoimmune issue (assuming there is one) needs to be addressed whether or not I have IVF.

I feel like my last baby probably was chromosomally normal because I saw it when it eventually came out and it looked perfect, really - perfect little fingers and toes. But the thought that I might have a problem with egg quality, and that I could continue to miscarry because of that or even have a disabled child, makes IVF appealing for screening purposes too.

[O_O]

I saw the endocrinologist today.

He says that I have a pituitary tumour that is so small that it can't be seen on MRI. He says that since I'm still ovulating I don't need any treatment, unless the fertility clinic insists.

He doesn't think I necessarily have adrenal insufficiency or an autoimmune issue although he has tested my serum DHEA-S so that I can start taking DHEA supplementation to hopefully improve my follicle count and quality.

He said from an endocrinological point of view my only problem is the subclinical hypothyroidism. I just have to stick with my levothyroxine and once my TSH is less than 2 I'm ok to be pregnant. He said he thinks what I'm doing is wonderful!

I'm still kind of convinced that there's something more going on - some sort of autoimmune issue - but I know that with me the line between anxiety and intuition is blurred. I do find it hard to believe that I'll just take some methylfolate and levothyroxine and magically won't have any more miscarriages.

Still, just got to crack on. Now the endo has given me the all clear my fertility clinic will be happy for me to proceed with treatment.

Meanwhile, my ex's partner is pregnant with their second baby. I know feeling bitter and resentful is not healthy but honestly it's absolutely killing me. I wish I had somebody loving and supportive to go through this with me.

[WiseMonkey]

Meanwhile, my ex's partner is pregnant with their second baby. I know feeling bitter and resentful is not healthy but honestly it's absolutely killing me. I wish I had somebody loving and supportive to go through this with me.

You have to let go of this looser (and his partner) otherwise you'll never be happy. Universal law states that no one new can come into your life while you're holding onto the old! Your choice.

[O_O]

You have to let go of this looser (and his partner) otherwise you'll never be happy. Universal law states that no one new can come into your life while you're holding onto the old! Your choice.

Not sure I buy into universal law! But yes I do need to let him go. It's not like I talk to him or anything. I don't know how to stop loving him though! It seems as impossible as stopping loving my parents or something.

I wish he WAS a loser... that would help. Unfortunately, I seem to be the loser :/

I guess time will fix everything, one way or another.

[EmmerLooeez]

It doesn't feel like it now, but you will get over him and you won't love him forever. Was this whom you had a miscarriage with? I think that when we're carrying someone's child the bond that is made is unworldly strong.

I loathe my son's dad. He was awful and we have a rocky relationship really. Though there are times I look at them together and it really warms my soul. I dislike him but I'd never let anything happen to him and would always help. It's a funny thing.

I'm glad that you've seen an endo. What will happen next?

You're a very clever, gentle girl. You'll be okay you know.
Sending love xxx

[O_O]

It doesn't feel like it now, but you will get over him and you won't love him forever. Was this whom you had a miscarriage with? I think that when we're carrying someone's child the bond that is made is unworldly strong.

I loathe my son's dad. He was awful and we have a rocky relationship really. Though there are times I look at them together and it really warms my soul. I dislike him but I'd never let anything happen to him and would always help. It's a funny thing.

I'm glad that you've seen an endo. What will happen next?

You're a very clever, gentle girl. You'll be okay you know.
Sending love xxx

Thank you Emma Nearly made me cry.

Yes, both my miscarriages were with him. I loved him long before I fell pregnant though.

Now that the endo has given me the all clear I can proceed with IVF! Once my donor sperm arrives at the end of March. I'm on levothyroxine for my thyroid, methylfolate for my MTHFR mutation, and DHEA for egg quality.

I've also been taking a lot of supplements and I'll be allowed a blood thinner like heparin and maybe even some autoimmune treatments like intralipids (once I do become pregnant).

I also might be allowed on a clinical trial looking into the causes of recurrent miscarriage!

I might also have a couple more autoimmune tests done, including an NK cell test from my endometrium.

So yes all going well I can proceed with retrieval, fertilisation and embryo freezing in April! And then I've just got to decide when I want to transfer.

I'm sure there will be hiccoughs but I'm hoping for at least one good embryo from my first retrieval. My antral follicle count has improved and is currently 15 since being on the supplements - still quite bad but better than it was! So fingers crossed.