Cervical and uterine pain and symptoms

[Carys]

I'm desperate to start working and going to the gym again but I don't want to try and then just fall apart.

Then if you are desperate you must do so. It honestly IS that simple, your life has 'become' this set of symptoms and you have nothing else to focus on and distract yourself with. You say you want to work, you want to do something to make yourself more healthy...then take that first step.


There are people on this forum who have had to drag themselves back from far more serious physical illness, and force themselves in taking steps to improve their lives. Why not volunteer with some people who are really needy - charities and community groups are crying out for volunteers, if you visit your local library you will probably find a board there with a choice of volunteering oppportunities.

[O_O]

Then if you are desperate you must do so. It honestly IS that simple, your life has 'become' this set of symptoms and you have nothing else to focus on and distract yourself with. You say you want to work, you want to do something to make yourself more healthy...then take that first step.


There are people on this forum who have had to drag themselves back from far more serious physical illness, and force themselves in taking steps to improve their lives. Why not volunteer with some people who are really needy - charities and community groups are crying out for volunteers, if you visit your local library you will probably find a board there with a choice of volunteering oppportunities.

I am going to try. I'm meeting with HR on Tuesday. See how that goes.

And I guess I should be grateful really. However angry and sad and jealous and grief stricken I am now, it's STILL better than the blind, mortal terror I was feeling a few months ago. Nothing is worse than that.

So hopefully that doesn't come back.

---------- Post added at 13:08 ---------- Previous post was at 11:58 ----------

Also, I think one problem is that the only reason I want to get better is so that I don't look weak and pathetic to my ex. I want him to think I'm fine without him. Maybe I even think there's a chance for us still, which is obviously the worst thing I could cling to.

It would be different if he didn't love me. Or if he was dead. I think then I'd just give up on life entirely.

But either way I don't want to get better for myself. And I think you have to want to do it for yourself, don't you? Where do I get that motivation from?

[Fishmanpa]

But either way I don't want to get better for myself.

It's encouraging to see you finally taking steps to help yourself. What I highlighted IMO, is a key issue in your thinking and mindset and I hope you express it to your therapist. Go back and read my previous post. Truly, you have to learn to be content with yourself and work on becoming self confident and self sufficient. Regardless if or when someone comes into your life, you want to be the best you can be for yourself and that person.

Good luck

Positive thoughts

[O_O]

It's encouraging to see you finally taking steps to help yourself. What I highlighted IMO, is a key issue in your thinking and mindset and I hope you express it to your therapist. Go back and read my previous post. Truly, you have to learn to be content with yourself and work on becoming self confident and self sufficient. Regardless if or when someone comes into your life, you want to be the best you can be for yourself and that person.

Good luck

Positive thoughts

Thanks Fish. I did read you previous post and it does all make sense. It's haaaard though. My pelvis is feeling extra weird at the moment. I tried to ignore it tonight and went to a retro gaming evening and really tried hard just to play the games and have a nice time but my pelvis was just feeling strange the whole time and in the end I left early.

It's sometimes very hard to tell myself this is just one of those things. It seems too much to be coincidence. Like, I had my premonition and even though things didn't go exactly as I thought they're still ****ed. There's still lingering physical pregnancy-related issues that won't release me. I honestly do feel sometimes like there is something truly wrong and that this might still be the death of me, just as I thought five months ago. It's just taken a bit longer than expected. It's very, very hard!

[Fishmanpa]

It's very, very hard!

I had two heart attacks, triple bypass, stents and Stage IVa head and neck cancer, I know what "hard" is! Given he opportunity to address a mental issue vs. a physical one, I'd take the mental issue. At least I'd be in control of how I treated it.

Positive thoughts

[O_O]

Oh, of course. It's believing it's a mental illness that's the problem. If I could be given 100% proof, right now, that this was a mental health issue I'm pretty sure I'd be cured immediately.

[Violet Blue]

Oh, of course. It's believing it's a mental illness that's the problem. If I could be given 100% proof, right now, that this was a mental health issue I'm pretty sure I'd be cured immediately.

That's quite a tricky one, and I don't know what point I'm making, but I know 100% that the worst isn't going to happen, and yet still my brain will try and tell me it might and so it goes into panic mode. But thankfully I'm so so so much better than I was. Time is a great healer if you work at it.

[Tiff111]

Hi, did you find out any answers to this? I’d be interested to know...I always worry about anything to do with ‘down there’ x

[Bigboyuk]

Oh, of course. It's believing it's a mental illness that's the problem. If I could be given 100% proof, right now, that this was a mental health issue I'm pretty sure I'd be cured immediately.

Well of course that's all it is HA which you need to address think most of us who have posted on this thread have conveyed this message to you ATB

[O_O]

It's not aaaall HA. There's something going on. Tiff, I don't know what it is, though! I've got a TV ultrasound on the 14th. They'll probably either find something horrifying and shock us all, or find nothing at all.

I guess based on the evidence of two negative HPV tests I can rule out cervical cancer, unless I'm unlucky enough to have one of the very rare kinds. I have a bunch of symptoms of cc but *shrug*. Endometrial or ovarian cancer would be very unusual at my age too. But there's a host of things it could be I guess. I have no idea.

I'm wearing deep heat patches but they're not really doing anything! Just walking around I can feel it with every step. A constant reminder.