Re: Legitimately may have cervical cancer
Originally Posted by
O_O
Thank you so much snowflake. I know exactly how much it sounds irrational to others, but of all the health concerns I've ever had this one seems the most likely based on symptoms. I just can't see what else a white lesion on the cervix would be. Particularly with the ectropion... which I guess may actually be cancer. I think the best I'm hoping for is CIN, but I'm not sure that would be visible to the naked eye.
I know what you mean about being unable to concentrate. Sometimes if I take about 8mg of diazepam I am able to read or watch TV for a bit. Otherwise, I simply cannot. I'll spend hours just sitting there, or googling. Sometimes I can drag myself on a walk, or even run a bit, but it doesn't really help. Not healthy, I know, but it seems impossible to change.
Poppy, unfortunately I can see the white patch with my naked eye in the mirror. That's why I took the photos, to show the doctor. I don't know how she could have missed it. I've been tested for infection and it's all fine. Honestly, I'd love it if this was some kind of infection!
Smears are only about 80% accurate. Particularly if the cancer starts in the cervical canal. Plus, I don't know if I had the ectropion last time, but if I did then the nurse could easily have just sampled cells from there and missed the transformation zone... where cancer usually develops.
I'm definitely not going to try to conceive again any time soon. Even if I don't have cancer. This experience has messed me up much more than it should have and I'm really not stable.
I really feel for you so much, I don't mean that to come across in any way like I am pitying you or being condescending - I just REALLY understand what this is like and how torturous it is.
Are you under any sort of mental health team at the moment? If so, it might be worth getting in touch with them and seeing if you can access some support. Even just speaking to a nurse on the phone can really help.
With regard to your cervix issues, I don't have much experience of these things but I DO relate to the fear. I am so scared of the c-word I showed up months early for my smear and they told me to come back in January and now I am worrying "what if they miss something'.
I am sure you will be ok lovely, I know how horrible this is and I also know that no matter how many times you hear the words "don't worry" you will still worry, I am exactly the same.
You can and will get through this. Our brains are powerful enough to beat this.
Always here for you x
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