Nothing really works out for me.

[jared]

Right now I'm in a fight with my fiancee because I watched porn because she doesn't do anything with me in bed. When I tried talking to her about it, it just made things worse. She was my only friend and now she's mad.

The friends I do have around here are basically fair-weather friends, and they leave depending on whether they can get something out of me or not.

Today my drummer in my band that I've been trying to get off the ground called me on the tele and said he's quitting because he doesn't enjoy feeling like he's the weakest link. I told him we are all equal. He didn't take to it. We had been looking for 6 months for a drummer because no one wants to play Christian music. I have two people stalking me. I moved from my friends and family (to england) for a better shot at fame. No dice. Not so sure I like it here. Now even if I move back most of them have moved away.

I do everything opposite.

Im a Christian grunge musician.
I like craft beer but hate the artsy scene.
Im friendly yet I don't have friends.
Im super smart but never went to uni.

It's getting pretty terrible for me. Why am I opposite at so much?

[Bigboyuk]

Hi Jared sorry to hear about all this advice is always have few good friends that can be supportive where about you have you moved to if its ok to ask? Christian Grunge music not heard that type of Christian music ever any links you can post here? I am sure it's allowed as is you will have no trouble getting a drummer have you advertised any where mate ? ATB

[Tyke]

Hi Jared

Do you love your fiancee? You say she is your only friend. Do you communicate with her? Is she aware of your unhappiness in the bedroom? If you love her try and talk to her about any of your frustrations. If she loves you too you might get a much better outcome than watching porn would ever bring!!!!!!!!

As for being an opposite, you are not the only one. I never went to Uni, though most of my associates did. I was brought up Christian though most of my associates have no faith or actually don't approve of any religion. I was brought up in poverty and went to a crap failing school though most of my associates had a better star in life. You are not alone!!!!!!!!!!

[lior]

Just because you've had an argument it doesn't mean you're not friends any more.

Sex is a complex thing. Do you know why she's not engaging with you in bed? To make a long term relationship work, good communication is key. We're not mind readers. You have to ask what's going on with her, and you have to explain what watching porn does for you. She might feel threatened that she's not good enough for you. You could explain what you want from her in bed. It's important to acknowledge that your orgasms are not her responsibility - they're your responsibility, and if she doesn't fill 100% of your needs, that's fine because you can fulfil your own needs by ****ing.

We're brought up with this damaging idea that a partner will meet ALL of our needs, but that's so unhealthy - it's too much of a responsibility to put on one person to meet ALL our needs. What's healthier is to have different friends for different needs, and to remain in charge of meeting our own needs.

It takes a long time to make good friends. How long have you been here for?
Are you part of a Christian community? Surely within a church network, you will find a drummer.
Sad about the one you had now though... he sounds insecure.

As for being opposite... we all are. That's what makes humans interesting, and not 2D characters in a book. The more extreme I am in something, the more I'll also have the opposite too - just it might be hidden inside. Being opposite is normal and really should be celebrated - it's interesting