Ok I know I have said this before but this time it is different. This time I have the support of a very dear friend 5 days a week for as long as I need it.
I have eaten well, rested and looked after today and I am not abusing medication or drugging myself up for the first time in a long while.
A very wise friend tells me instead of looking for a modicum of control in life I seek absolute control and life cannot be controlled like that. Instead I need to learn to adapt and practise new ways of coping.
That's what I am doing now.