Feeling alone and sad on my birthday :(

[Carys]

I was walking past a pub with an outdoor area at the front one evening and a bunch of blokes commented on me being in trouble as I was carrying a bunch if flowers. They were for my mum though, luckily.

The old gender assumptions never seem to die do they...OR....were you in trouble with your Mum ?

[CeeCeeCee]

"Do you think you need to sit MrC down and get some support off him? Perhaps he will realise he needs to be a bit more proactive right now?"

I agree with Terry, talk to him it might help and salvage some sort of future for you both?

---------- Post added at 13:51 ---------- Previous post was at 13:41 ----------

[QUOTE=Carnation;1736815]It was my birthday today. The first birthday without my mum as she passed away 6 months ago. I don't hear from any of the so-called family anymore and as I don't go around announcing; "It's my birthday, it's my birthday", consequently I have had a very sad and lonely day.
I feel I have no-one who cares anymore and because I still very sensitive over my mum's passing and finding it very difficult to lead my life, I don't join in any forum threads.
I'm a bundle of nerves, with shaking over every day tasks and feel so frightened and alone, almost fading in to the distance.
I have no purpose, no ambitions and spend most days crying because I feel so unloved. My partner treats me like a chamber maid and any love that may have been there is just a distant memory now.
I don't know which way to turn and what to do with myself.
I don't even know why I writing any of this, because it makes me feel so pathetic and needy. But I am and. I suppose searching for an answer or just a voice that can reassure me that there is something out there for me.

Carnation, it's sad to hear you felt so down on your birthday. You have been such a help and support on here and always seem so switched on and strong. However, you are also allowed to have down days and feel a bit lonely, it's just normal in the circumstances after losing your Mum.
I was terrible after I lost mine and birthdays and Christmas etc were worse.
But, it's only one day, tomorrow is always a new day and you can start afresh.
Learn to pamper yourself if no one else does, you deserve it!

[Carnation]

Hi CeeCeeCee
I think losing my mum has a little to do with it.
I'm hoping in time it will not haunt what is supposed to be a happy occasion.
I think your last sentence may be the answer next year.
Pampering myself. Never done it before, but maybe I should start. At least I have a year to plan it.

[23fish]

I am so sorry I missed your birthday when you were feeling so rubbish. My laptop gave up on me and I have been without access to NMP for a month (I could get it on my phone but I can't cope with the small text!).
I understand how disappointed you were with Mr C's lack of effort. My husband didn't even get me a card on our wedding anniversary (32 years - it would have been nice!). I don't want a big fuss on my birthday, but a little thought would be good.
I do think you've come on a long way in the last year - you have posted so many positive thoughts. You are bound to be thinking of your mum a lot - I think of mine every day and she died nearly 37 years ago. I miss her terribly, but it is true that it wont always be so painful. You need to remind yourself how much you did for her, especially when you were going through such a difficult time yourself.
As for Christmas - I find it hard in different ways - everyone else seems to have fun filled family parties and days of hilarity, while ours is incredibly quiet. I have to remind myself that it's just another day and it doesn't have to be all singing and all dancing.
I hope you and Mr C have a chance to relax and put no pressure on yourselves. Take care xx

[Carnation]

Thank you for your lovely message 23fish.
And understanding the way I feel. x