OMG Jenni, there is too much negativity in you. FMP is right, go to another forum. Go find people with colitis. And go find success stories. Those who have been through it and got treated. Ive met a lot of stage 4 cancer patients who are given months to live but are more positive than you are. Ive feared cancer all my life and until now I am still scared but I went online and had the chance to meet terminal cancer patients and they are living their life to the fullest despite their circumstances. There are people and children in Africa who dont have water or food to eat. And here you are whining about your condition when you have resources and support. I pity you.