convinced I have MS, now in a downward spiral

[motox&mascara]

Firstly, i am sorry to start yet another post around this topic, but i just feel like i need to get this all out somewhere as its driving me insane and i didnt want to hijack anyone else's post.

anywho, as the subject says, i am convinced i have MS and am going out of my mind with worry. i will try to keep this short...but it will probably end up longer...
i've managed to avoid latching onto this worry until recently when my brain started putting multiple sensations etc i have had together. chuck in a bit of good ol' doctor google and walah...MS...
I am now completely obsessed that maybe this has been my problem all along and i feel like its only getting worse.

i first latched onto the idea after getting tightness and tingling/numbness in my right forearm and hand, usually while driving, which in turn caused panic attacks (i feel like an early trigger could have been a movie i watched about a lady with MS, didn't phase me at all at the time but i think thats where the idea planted itself in my head). i then started thinking about my dizzy spells, and the head pressure i was having. then over the last week i have noticed more feelings which seem to be in the right side, but sometimes move about, and have been near constant all week:

- head/face pressure
- neck and throat tightness (this is a new one for me)
- feeling like my head weights a tonne
- dizzy spells, like some one is pushing down on my head
- fatique (waking up feeling like i haven't slept - though should add this has gotten a tad better since "shark week" hit)
- buzzing feeling in the body
- muscle twitches in the right leg (either in my ass cheek, or in my calf)
- hot sweats (also semi subsided since "shark week" hit)
- feeling like my bottom lip gets cold (only happened once, but also a new one for me)
- more panic attacks/general all day anxiety and a feeling of doom/something is going to happen
- trouble concentrating and feeling like i muck up when i am typing/texting (words/letters around the wrong way)

I then started thinking about past symptoms i have had, like the need to go toilet often in the absence of an infection, and a patch on my right but cheek that gets super itchy every now and then for no reason at all....think that these were warning signs and now its really starting to kick in.

Some things to note: i have just started back on escitalopram (early days still and didn't get these feelings the first time around), and also started shark week so hormones are all over the show - sorry if tmi...

Those are just some of the physical feelings i am experiencing at the moment. I am so so worried that this whole time it has been MS as i have periods where I am fine then I flare up again. This fear is now starting to ruin me.
I had a clear MRI three years ago but when I spoke with my doctor the other day regarding my concerns, he said that although he is not concerned it is MS, he cannot 100% guarantee its not as MS is a tricky one and everyone is different so will refer me to a neuro with the warning that they may not accept the referral due to the low risk. I tired to contact a private neuro to try and get in faster, but no way can i afford that (and heck to the no can i afford to pay private for an MRI on top of that).

A few weeks before this has all gotten to this point, i was fixated on strokes/anuresyms - but these were more related to the fact i have a bruit in my neck which i am waiting to get an ultrasound on so was genuinely a concern which health anxiety has magnified. Now the stroke fears are still there but the MS fear is taking over.

I have my work do tonight and I was so excited to go, now not so much and i almost want to bail on it (though i know i really should go), I am worried that something will happen to me...I am so scared I have MS, no i am CONVINCED i have MS, and I just dont know what to do...Really all I can do is wait for a referral but that could be a few months away.

I'm 27, healthy as far as i know, and i am a mum, so this worry has me so upset and scared that i will not be around for my son...luckily he is with his dad this weekend but id hate for him to see me like this...my partner has had enough and doesn't think anything is wrong with me, and my family have about had enough to...i don't know what to do, feel really really helpless, alone and scared...i wish i could believe that this is "just" anxiety - but i can't.

Sorry this did end up being long, and thanks if you actually read the whole thing haha! I guess i just wanted to get this all out of my head, and maybe see if anyone out there can offer me any words of encouragement.
I know nobody can say for sure that I do or dont have MS, just looking for some support and a bit of a vent...

TL;DR: convinced i have MS due to constant, all day symptoms that have sprung up more so in the last couple of weeks and feel like they are getting worse - trouble rationalizing if this is all in my head/just anxiety or seriously MS, clear MRI three years ago, doc is aware what is going on but thinks chances of MS are low and is not concerned but will refer me anyway

thanks in advance

A

[tryingtosurvive1]

I don't think either hot sweats or muscle twitching are even MS symptoms. You have such a wide array of symptoms it does make me think anxiety. That and your intrusive thought that you will leave your child. :(

[DonnaT]

I wanted to reply, my sister had MS, I’m not telling you this to scare you but to reassure you. She had symptoms from a very young age. I live with HA so I know what it’s like when there is something stuck in your head and especially when hen you have children, they have four. My sister lives a complete and full, happy life and I mean that. She has a two year old, she works full time and is out doing stuff every day all day. She rides horses. If you looked at her you would have no clue that there was any problem. Ms is not the death sentence that people believe it to be. They are making massive leaps in treatment all the time. A lot of your symptoms don’t sound like my sister but of course if your worried go and talk with your GP. Anxiety can give you so many symptoms it’s crazy so crazy I’ve suffered with it for 12 years and even now my body and head still go at each other and I get convinced something else is wrong. When your in that stuck situation it’s so hard to get out of and I feel for you. I’m sure your fine but in the tiny tiny tiny tiny chance you aren’t (you will be) remember what I told you about my sister, she’s amazing and you would never even know.

[motox&mascara]

Gah, so I wrote this big reply and then accidently pushed the back button hard replying on my phone.
So let me try again...

Thank you both for your replies, I really appreciate you taking the time

Donna, I'm sorry to hear about your sister, but I love that she is just kicking life's a**!! I am going to read your reply every time I ride that MS train!
I am currently obsessed with something else at the moment (as us with HA do) but the MS thoughts are still there. Currently waiting on a letter for a Nero referral date. My doc doesn't think its MS but said he can't be 100% sure so is sending me back to the Nero for our piece of mind. Although I had a clear MRI a couple years ago he can't be sure nothings developed since then as symptoms of MS vary so much. So for now I am just trying to keep on keeping on. Will be back when I have an answer to update

Positive vibes to all

A