Advice please :)

[Joe Lewis]

Hi

My mum is suffering from bad anxiety. She is to afraid to move incase she has a panic attack. She is currently in hospital and has been in there for 7 weeks. She has COPD and when she was hyperventilating during her panic attacks she had too much carbon dioxide inside. She is due to be given an oxygen type machine to take home next week so hopefully she will be home as being in there for long isn’t doing her much good mental health wise :( She was diagnosed with bipolar 45 years ago and takes lithium for that every night. So that’s the background.. she is really struggling with her anxiety and all we seem to say to her is take deep breaths and she must be getting sick of us saying that lol. Just wondering if they is any other remedies to help? She is so scared to move and that seems to be her biggest fear and sets off the panic. We was thinking of trying CBD oil?

Any advice would be most welcome!

Thanks in advance

[emmegee]

Is her doctor aware of her anxiety and can they prescribe something specifically for it?

[Joe Lewis]

Yeah they are aware. The psychiatrist team pops over once a week (for about 10 mins). She was on lorazepam but they took her off that now she’s on 30mg of mirtazapine. She was on half the dose 3 weeks ago but last Saturday they upped it to 30mg. They say it takes 2 weeks to actually take effect

[StilnotDead]

Yea a doc or psych is the first thing. Has she had medicals to rule out any real physical issues ?

i have panic disorder and my mother has bpd and bipolar ( also on lithium ). I think its the go too for bipolar , but not the only med out there. I would speak to the doc about alternatives.

That being said meds arent the only thing you need to do. Its hard to help somebody like this because you need to understand what is they truly fear , in your mothers case is it death? is it embarrassment ? Get to know the root fear.

Once youve done this you can take a proactive role with a psych in fighting it.

Im going to tell you something a bit harsh here and this is my own opinion as a guy who would not shower ( because if i took my clothes off i figurd it would take too long to put back on incase i had an attack to get to the doc )
I could not be alone for a second and if i was i would walk to the doctors office in town and sit outside his practice ( in case something happens ).

I think meds for some people are vital but i think for all people mentally strengthening yourself is a crucial step alongside it.

NOw its really hard to convey anything to somebody while they are in a state of anxiety youve kinda got to tell them when they are ok , and then remind them about the convo when an attack happens .

It really depends on her personal thoughts and fears ( the counter ).

Il tell you what i did , mine i think was based on health of course but alot of separation anxiety .... i actually started meditating ( mindfulness meditation the proper kind ) you sit down and DONT try change anything just observe your thoughts as a outsider.

You find a point of focus ( any repetitive acton and you focus on each repitition of that movement ... the sensations... the difference from one movement to another.... thenyour mind will wander to the bad thoughts and here is the trick.... you have to learn to see the thought as a just a thought and observe it for a while with as little judgement or reaction to the though or sensation as possible .. then return to the focus point....

What this does is two things ( it strengthens you resolve and break remuneration a massive player in the cycle of any mental disorder.)

Secondly it teaches a self discipline that not every though or sensation is really what you think it is initially and warrants a reaction.

Its a difficult practise especially when you begin.

But when you start seeing these thoughts without judgement or a veil of fear , you can start to see what really going on without trying to . ( an example ) I used to get during these meditations a though of i cant breathe right ( id say ok i see the though thats ok *back to my focus point* not a minute later i would pop up again and id do the same thing *ok i see the thought ,back to focus point *

Eventually it would come up and i would be like o there that one again and strangely because now i wasnt looking at it with fear i saw something else within the thought. I was afraid of dying , i was afraid of not getting help if the breathing thing got serious.

These where the true base fears and then after meditation you address those and work on them ( and the fear of breathing issues goes away ) .

This is a difficult process to go through and probably not what you were hoping to hear , but its a solid foundation ( more so than medication for myself ). When i get panic attacks now i can say to myself ( oh my body is having a in appropriate response to a situation ( perceived threat ) by releasing excess Adrenalin causing rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing. Im not dying , its just a mistake , carry on . When you dont give anxiety attention you literally strip it of all its power.

How i discovered this power of the mind was i was having a massive panic attack oneday in the car waiting for my wife to return ( i dint know to phon an ambulance or make a run into the shop where somebody could help ) then a OLD school mate of mine knocked on the window.. i hadnt seen this guy for a decade and he just took my mind off it completely we spoke and i forgot what was happening. when he left i though wth where did the attack go ? i stopped feeding it with my own thoughts and it died.

I tried to replicate this afterwards but honestly meditation as the only thing that could allow me to do it successfully, because when i tell you dont think about a pink elephant .. what are you thinking about > a pink elephant ... if i go oh cool a pink elephant ..carry on ... the thats that.

Let it go. You time to die is set , worrying about when and where .... is just wasting the time you have left.

After a year i found i no longer needed to focus on doing this it came naturally , and the things in life that would knock me down now where just glancing blows. I took responsibility for my anxiety and said nobody can fix this but you are you going to live another 40 years like this ?

One last thing , why is it that when we are exited like doing something we love , we get racing heartbeats , tightened muscles sweat some and feel like we breathe heavy ( maybe a roller coaster ride ) its ok we have no issue with that. But a panic attack is the same response ... the difference is your thoughts on your perceive as excitement and the other as a danger ... Perception is everything.

Its a tough road , Bipolar ( as ive seen ) is one of the hardest... but its not unbeatable ( if it where unbeatable the genetics for it would die out with the people that have it. ) it hasnt though because most people find a way to cope. The gene is passed on such as in my case and perhaps yours ( you may have found a coping mechanism by watching your mothers irrational perceptions of things without knowing it )

When i say irrational i dont mean to be Insulting , i know its VERY real for the person experiencing it.

You just need to proper approach.. and yes finding that can take time.