Doing really bad! Need a little help please!

[Bob22]

Hello, I have been on Celexa for 2 years now. I lost my beautiful 21 year old son and got pretty sick. I cry everyday over him but have been doing really good. I had a breakdown when he passed and Anxiety was so bad, depression was there because of the Anxiety.

I was on 40 mg of Celexa the first year. I started to wean off of it in January and got down to 5mg by May. In June I forgot to take my pill two day s in a row and went through hell. I stated taking it again and it took about two weeks to get better.

I have been doing so good since then that I decided to cut the meds down to 2.5mg I was on that for about 3 weeks. I talked to my doctor and he said if I want to get off the meds, when I feel up to it, start taking the 2.5mg every other day and then every 3 days and then stop.

I started to do the every other day last week. By accident I missed Sunday and Monday of this week. Tuesday I was in a nightmare and everyday has been worse. I am really bad at the moment. I started taking the 2.5mg on Tuesday and have taken it every day since then.

To be honest, I am really Scared!!! I can't convince myself that this is just withdrawal and I will be ok. I have a constant fight or flight feeling. Tingling arms, heart racing...... The butterflys in the chest are just horrible. The thought of being like this for the rest of my life is intense!!!

This is not the type of person I am.

Is it possible that you can mess your nervous system up so bad that you will just have to live with this feeling with no relief for the rest of your life?

It appears that I will never be able to get off of this drug. I can't believe this is happening on only 2.5mg It's also appearing that the drug isn't going to work for me anymore. its been two days and I feel worse even though I am taking the 2.5mg. I wonder if I should go to 5mg.

My wife asked me "if you were doing so good on the meds, why get off of them?" That's a good question. Do people stay on this drug and live a normal life? I probably can't handle any negative answers at the moment.

I'm in a bad why right now. Scared I'm not going to get back to where I was a few days ago. I was 100% with no symptoms and now this!

Thank you for any help you might give me. I just need a helping hand at the moment.

[Jem21]

Hi Bob, let me start by saying you are not going to be like this for the rest of your life, that's just anxiety talking! I think the best thing you can do is make an appointment with your doctor. Maybe you came off them too soon, or maybe you're just having a setback. Everyone is different when it comes to meds I was on Citalopram for 2 years and stopped cold turkey as I was well and I was fine. I also tried Cymbalta and coming off that under doctors instruction was hell. At the moment your anxiety is making you think all sorts. Can you get an appointment tomorrow?

[Bob22]

Hi Bob, let me start by saying you are not going to be like this for the rest of your life, that's just anxiety talking! I think the best thing you can do is make an appointment with your doctor. Maybe you came off them too soon, or maybe you're just having a setback. Everyone is different when it comes to meds I was on Citalopram for 2 years and stopped cold turkey as I was well and I was fine. I also tried Cymbalta and coming off that under doctors instruction was hell. At the moment your anxiety is making you think all sorts. Can you get an appointment tomorrow?

Thank you so much for your reply Jem. I have spoke to my doctor via email and he stated to just continue with the meds everyday instead of every other day and we will reevaluate once I am stable.

That's the whole thing, I feel so bad I don't think I am going to be stable again. My life is such a mess with everything that has happened. I use to be a strong person. I guess as you say, this is the Anxiety talking.

I'm also having a hard time believing that this all happened just because I started skipping a day and skipped two days by accident. I am very sensitive to meds though.

Thank you so very much for your reply Jem, it means the world. If anyone else can comment please do so, I truly need all the support I can get right now. Man this is hard. It's so crazy because I have been down this road before, but I feel this time my system is just too messed up to recover. Again I guess that's the Anxiety.

Thank you again Jem!!!!!!!

[Jem21]

I was on cit and missed 6 tablets over the space of a month and I had a couple of weeks of anxiety before it settled again. Your levels are probably all over the place and your body doesn't know what's going on. Give it a little time as your doctor says to even out and then pop back and see him to re evaluate. I hope you feel better soon x

[Lulu1960]

Why get off the Medication if it's making you feel good.yes you can take this med.for the rest of your life..don't skip doses it can cause havoc on your system..

[Bob22]

I was on cit and missed 6 tablets over the space of a month and I had a couple of weeks of anxiety before it settled again. Your levels are probably all over the place and your body doesn't know what's going on. Give it a little time as your doctor says to even out and then pop back and see him to re evaluate. I hope you feel better soon x

Thank you so much Jem! I was feeling almost 100% about an hour ago but now going back down the rabbit hole so my system is messed up.

Really appreciate it. I will be back in a few days with an update.

---------- Post added at 12:39 ---------- Previous post was at 12:38 ----------

Why get off the Medication if it's making you feel good.yes you can take this med.for the rest of your life..don't skip doses it can cause havoc on your system..

I'm starting to come with those terms Lulu. Thank you for the support, I really need it!!!

[swgrl09]

I'm so sorry to hear about your son... how could you not be impacted? You aren't crazy, you are human. Grief doesn't really go away, it just kind of changes it's role in your life with time. Go easy on yourself about how you are doing honestly.

For what it's worth, the last time I weaned off lexapro (I'm now back on it - no shame there!), I felt 100% fine until I finally stopped completely. This was even with a very slow taper. After a couple weeks the withdrawal had passed and I was doing a lot better. Everybody tapers differently and everyone's body handles it differently.

[Bob22]

I'm so sorry to hear about your son... how could you not be impacted? You aren't crazy, you are human. Grief doesn't really go away, it just kind of changes it's role in your life with time. Go easy on yourself about how you are doing honestly.

For what it's worth, the last time I weaned off lexapro (I'm now back on it - no shame there!), I felt 100% fine until I finally stopped completely. This was even with a very slow taper. After a couple weeks the withdrawal had passed and I was doing a lot better. Everybody tapers differently and everyone's body handles it differently.

Thank you so much swgrl, I miss him so bad!!!!!!!!

I am glad you are doing better!!!

[Bob22]

I am just making an update in case there are people watching that may be going through the same pain as I am.

I felt really bad all morning yesterday until around 1pm. After 1 I felt like my old self. There were brief times of fight or flight sensations but they didn't last long. I was able to get a lot done. I drank a cup of coffee because that is what I do everyday and I don't want to go through any other types of withdraw. I believe the coffee actually calmed me mentally. I did some research on Caffeine and they are saying that it might just help with Anxiety and Depression. The caffeine could make your physical symptoms worse so if you are not a coffee or soda drinker I would be careful.

I slept good last night and didn't wake up feeling as bad as I did yesterday. The physical symptoms were mild. That actually scared me a little because without the physical symptoms to attribute my anxiety too, I was just scared at nothing!!! I am currently dealing with that now.

This is such a tough thing! I know that I felt good yesterday but this Anxiety makes me believe that I will never feel good again. Overall though I am feeling better.

One thing I am pretty confident in is that Cortisol and Adrenalin play a MAJOR roll in my physical symptoms; heart racing, shaking inside if that makes sense, Tingling.......... If you are suffering from this, you might want to look into a natural Cortisol Blocker.

Thank you so much Jem, Swgr, and Lulu for your replies, they are helping me through this!!!! That is what people need when they are suffering with this, reassurance.

[Wess2121]

Hey Bob22. If its of any comfort my wife and I just lost our first baby. My wife was at 38 weeks, we had a scheduled c-section. 6 days before it the baby hadn't moved, and we later found out at the hospital she had died. Devastating. So i sort of know what your going thru so stay strong.
Luckily i went back on citalopram about 3 weeks prior to that. My doctor actually told me to cut out caffeine. i was and avid coffee drinker. Depending on the type of person you are caffeine can get you 'hyped up'.
I'm very interested in the Cortisol Blocker. I've had anxiety for the past decade and whenever im anxious my heart races and i shake. I am going to ask my doctor about this at my next visit. Stay strong!