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Thread: had a bad couple of days

  1. #1

    had a bad couple of days

    I knew it would happen sooner or later.

    I went back to work from 5 days away on Wednesday and my head was just spinning. Too much to do, too many deadlines, too many messages, too much stress.

    I ended up losing it and saying some really harsh things to someone close to me. I felt so bad that I just broke down.

    Thursay was no better, neither was Friday. My boss called me in and lectured me saying that sort of behaviour was below me, and as a valued team member I shouldn't be struggling to get all my work done, and that if I need help with stuff I must ask. I just sat there staring out of the window nodding and occsionally agreeing with him, with a lump firmly wedged in my throat. He asked if there was anything else that may be bothering me but I just choked out a 'no'.

    I called my girlfriend on the way home and apologised for going mental at her and she accepted it but carried on digging and digging until I broke and asked her what she wanted from me....and I hung up and turned off my phone.

    I sent her a text apologising and she sent one back saying she's on her way home and we'll talk about it then, I replied I didn't want to.

    She got in and said I'd been down for about a month, I reacted by saying I was fine and it was just work stress, but she knows me better than that. I broke down again and felt so unhappy.

    I told her I have decided to see my doctor again as I am depressed again, probably worse than the last times I've 'replapsed'. My main fear is having my life run by medication, that's why I've been holding off going back.

    I thought I was ok but I'm not.

    Every day I feel ashamed of the way I have been treated, ashamed the way I talk to people, the way I treat people. The way I behave.

    It's like I resent everyone for a few messed up individuals' behaviour.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    188

    Re: had a bad couple of days

    Hiya Dave G, I had the same problem a year and half ago. But i had zero support. I eventually was made redundant. I my anxiety depression increased immensly. If your not happy its better to change things. Like change your job. The most important thing should be your home life. if stress effects your personal life, its time to make a change.

    Stuart

  3. #3

    Re: had a bad couple of days

    So I went to my doctor and told him I was depressed and felt really down again.

    He asked me if I'd had thoughts about hurting myself or any suicidal thoughts, I said that I had.

    We spoke for about 10 minutes, asking me if anything had changed - it hasn't. He said he would prescribe me something so I asked if he was going to do that I'd prefer something easier to 'come off' of [I was on Cipralex before] so he prescribed me Fluoxetine.

    Well...

    After a really torrid week I feel much better, it seems to me that Flx is a lot 'softer' than Clx. No headaches on starting them, no head shocks or dizzines if I was a little late taking.

    People have remarked that I seem a little sparkier, more positive and looking forward rather than talking about the past.

    It's not my job per se that's the problem, it's the stress that comes with it. I actually enjoy my work.

    I feel better but still not 100%. I think Fluoxetine is a 'better' drug to be on, for me Cipralex seemed to mask my true feelings and replace them with almost euphoria and I had a sort of 'ah well never mind' attitude and nothing phased me. Hmm

    Will see how I get on

    But I feel better which is a start.

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