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Thread: Lost myself and I can't get back

  1. #1

    Lost myself and I can't get back

    I'm so depressed at this moment in time. Completely and utterly hopeless. I have no motivation and no idea how to get forward, it just seems so pointless. I have made numerous appointments with the gp and all they do is up my meds, currently on 100 mg of sertraline and the next time I see them on Friday, she said they will be upped again.

    As much as I'd like a quick fix, I know that wont happen but what I do want happen is genuine help and not have to wait a year just to see a pyschiatrist because of the waiting lists. I can not bare the thought of another year feeling like this, I don't think I can.

    I don't feel normal, I feel crazy. I keep expecting myself to start hearing voices and seeing things and this will cause me to have panic attacks despite the fact I've seen/heard nothing, it's just intrusive thinking.

    Suicide is a daily thought for me, I wouldn't do it but the thought is there. I want my old self back, I want to be able to leave the house without having to take tablets just to get me to go for a coffee with a friend.

    I don't know what to do but I have an overwhelming feeling of I can't do this anymore, it's so overwhelming its all I can focus on.

    I'm safe, I have the crisis number, I am not going to commit suicide despite the thoughts, so please do not worry.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    Re: Lost myself and I can't get back

    Hi there , I could have wrote this the same so many times over the last few years , sometimes id think I can't take another minute never mind can't take another year but we do and sometimes for no apparent reason things get better , there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to this illness , you are not alone in the way you feel I'm going through a rough patch myself , maybe next year will be better , take care

  3. #3

    Re: Lost myself and I can't get back

    Hi, sorry that you also have experienced feelings like this. It's unbearable at most times. Right now I am having overwhelming feelings of hurting myself, I just want that relief. I need the release to help me but I know I can't as my partner will be so angry.

    I feel useless at life, I can't imagine it getting better. I cry out for help but I don't receive anyone. Mental Health services are so bad right now :(

  4. #4

    Re: Lost myself and I can't get back

    I know exactly what you mean about expecting to hear voices or see things i was like all the time and would cause massive panic/anxiety attacks even though I never did hear or see anything, im not past that yet but im not quite as bad but it scares the hell out of me having the thought im going to hear voices iv discussed this many times now with both psychiatrist and various CPN,s who assured me if I was going to hear voices etc then I would have by now im currently 43 in case wondering, they told me there only certain conditions that experience voices etc like schizophrenia,even though they told me this numerous times I still have these thoughts and attacks but have to try and tell myself they are right but in back of my mind im also telling myself what if they are wrong and are missing something, to be honest just waiting this message is setting me off a little,have you tried self referring yourself to your local ohs mental health service,my doctor referred me but im sure you can refer yourself as I know from my own experience medication alone is not the answer you need therapies and coping strategies to go with them
    hope this helps a little

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