New member
Hi,
So when I was younger my sister died from cancer, up until then I never thought of death.
However when she died I really thought about it and got scared but I realised that death is inevitable and so there is no point worrying about it. (The only thing that worries me at times is how I will die).
Live your life now. Don't think about death its going to happen either way so enjoy life.
Have fun, do something crazy, travel, just.... live.
I can understand why some people have talked about faith etc and also those implying 'just live for the now' and 'go travel' etc but if you are crippled by fear of death the way I am you feel like you can't do anything. I think unless you have this phobia it is totally impossible to imagine what its like, and of course people are going to make suggestions like that.
I was in my early teens when I started to get sleepless nights worrying about death. I would hear flights taking off from the nearby airport and panic from the noise, that it was the noise of impending doom. Just thinking about not seeing my family anymore brought on this massive feeling of dread and anguish, my stomach would be in knots, my heart racing, my face flushed. I felt like I might explode the fear was so great.
I'm now in my late 30's and can say for the first time that I know now its an actual phobia that isn't going to fixed with an SRI or propanalol. Most of my life i thought my reaction was normal, that when anyone starts to think about or analyse death that they are going to panic - maybe I was just extra sensitive, that's all. But over time I realised that my reaction and the physical symptoms that would ensue were not normal. Other people could deal with thoughts of death in a way that allowed them to do the 9-5 job, the weekly shop, the housework - that life carried on. But I just couldn't.
As I got older traveling on the motorway or walking alongside a busy road would start to freak me out too. Busy or noisy places. I would imagine an accident happening over and over again with different scenarios.
As my anxiety got worse I used alcohol as medication because the medication from the doctor wasn't helping. What I really wanted was a sedative or tranquilizer for those days where the fear gripped me the most, and sleeping tablets for when the thought of going to my bed and lying awake just freaked me out.
Sadly all GPs wanted to do was give out the usual low dose of propanalol or an SRI and these just don't work for me. When I talked about my anxiety they were quick to say that depression and anxiety went hand in hand - very much a one size fits all because these types of treatment are supposed to cover panic attacks, GAD, OCD etc as well as depression.
I paid to see a local councilor as my GP not once said they would send me for a mental health assessment and they didn't even mention putting me on a waiting list for a councilor.
I tried to get it to work, but the 'self exploration' of this counseling approach didn't help me, mainly because I felt too anxious and ashamed to talk about my fear and instead always ended up talking about bills, relationships and other general daily worries and so on.....But to be honest, even if I had managed to broach the subject, I don't know that simply discussing 'when it happens', 'how it makes me feel' is going to help, its not going to make it disappear.
Is there anyone else's life gripped by fear like this? Was there a type of therapy that worked? Some days I'm ok, some days I just can't function and some nights I don't sleep at all.
Intermediate Member
I can understand how you feel and have the same fears but thankfully to a lesser extent. I have no easy answers other than just keep talking and share your fears as that at least stops them building up unbearably. I had a long car journey yesterday and I always imagine a crash, happens every time. I hate travelling. No matter how careful you may be, it only needs some selfish idiot to end your life. The amount of chancers, impatient morons, tailgating, speeding, overtaking on bends with a second or two to make it before the oncoming car etc, sheer madness. I couldn't bear to go on a plane. Some psychopathic terrorist or deranged pilot deciding your fate. No, thank you. Yes, I use alcohol. Not a recommendation, but I survive the best I can.Originally Posted by anxdeporwhat
I have this fear too, it got super bad 2 years ago with panic attacks lasting weeks. Then again last July lasting over a month, nothing but panic attacks and crying. I wish I could find comfort in religion but I could never believe in god or in an afterlife. I became a nihilist and don't see the world the same way anymore, it's hard to enjoy things now. I am no longer the same after those panic attacks.
I think my fear of death feeds my health anxiety, I always fear having a disease that will kill me. I also want to live long enough in hopes of taking advantage of life extension procedures if possible. I also hope cryonics will be proven to be successful in my lifetime so I can use that when I die. I'm very involved with the longevity and transhumanist movement.
I feel like not enough people fully understand this fear. Most people say the same old things like "It's normal" or "It's just like before you were born". Most advice I got from people hasn't helped. Most people seem to worry more about a painful death, not ceasing to be. I don't understand how others can live their lives knowing they will die, everything they do while alive will be pointless in the end. Memories gone, they will slowly be forgotten, everything they accomplished gone. Eventually, it will be like they never existed. Very few people will be remembered hundreds and thousands of years from now. That is how I view everything at least, I'm a nihilist after all. I'm surprised people aren't running around in terror. I hate that my brain thinks like that.
Senior Member
This makes me fearful, I did my placement years ago whilst doing my NVQ in IT in a funeral home/directors even though there was little I could do, I did see a body lying in the chapel of rest, and one in the prep room, I had to go through there often to put out the rubbish from the offices. I did not see any in the fridges but first day I was asked do I want to see a dead body I said no.
Please don't scare to death. You know, every breath will be lost once. Everybody will take the taste of death, even you too, me to. In this case, don't worry. I also faced the same problem when I was a kid but now it's normal for me. Expand more time with your known people, I think it will help you.
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