I know I'm not the only person on here going through this - fear of developing severe food allergies. I'm convinced this sparked from my increasing worries about people who do have food allergies.

My anxiety had gotten to the point where I stopped eating practically everything. Three weeks ago, I saw my doctor, who is one of the highest-rated internists in my area. To my surprise, my vital signs, blood pressure and oxygen were normal. I told him everything that was going on with me. He assured me that adult onset food allergies are extremely, extremely, extremely rare, and that if it happens, it's largely genetic.

Food allergies don't run in my genes, and I'm Italian. I was basically told that based on my physiology and background, I'm totally fine and not at risk. He didn't even send me to the allergist. I was only slightly relieved.

I've gotten back on track with fruits and vegetables, I eat a lot of meat, potatoes and pasta, and sometimes I'll have seafood, particularly shrimp. My diet has been somewhat healthier, but I'm waiting to see my weight come back up.

My biggest fear is peanuts and tree nuts. For this reason, it took me weeks after developing this fear to consume anything with chocolate in it, especially when it comes to eating at restaurants.

Last week, before Christmas Eve, I saw my doctor again. I remembered to tell a story about when I had a traumatizing panic attack after eating a Reese's cup, which consisted of pins and needles on the tongue, my lip feeling weird even as I touched it, and I felt so queasy that I was getting dizzy. No itching or swelling to recall, but I popped a Benadryl anyway within minutes. Knowing how an allergic reaction works, he told me that was entirely psychosomatic. That I certainly, absolutely, positively am not allergic to peanuts or nuts.

We went to Perkins for a good breakfast right after, I saw my psychologist that same afternoon, and I ate Chick-Fil-A afterwards. That place uses peanut oil, but because it's fully refined, I don't feel like that counts. Since Thanksgiving, I've meditated using the Calm app at least once every day. I've used self-talk and breathing sessions to get through eating some of the things I was afraid of.

None of this has stopped me from having panic attacks, oral anxiety symptoms (tongue feeling off, throat and lymph nodes feeling tight), washing my hands like I have OCD, checking foods for nuts, and I can barely sleep anymore, especially considering I've previously eaten chocolates containing nuts at my own computer where I'm typing at, so I feel unsafe in my own bed. Even when my doctor reassured me, told me to enjoy my life and carry on with everything.

At least I've got good future plans, and I'm enjoying some of my new Christmas gifts to ease my mind, but I just don't feel like what I'm doing is progress, because my biggest fear is nuts for crying out loud. Sure, I'm near them and exposed to them, but I have no idea if I'm ingesting them or not. Last I wrote about this, someone told me to resist the urge to play the avoidance game. It'll take me a lot of confidence, courage and logic before that happens and I happily eat stuff with nuts knowing that yes, I can eat them.

For one thing, this all would still be going on even if I was comfortable with peanuts.