Problems to cope with HA in my pregnancy

[Bastett]

Hey. I am new to this forum but unfortunately not to health anxiety. I KNOW it is my main problem but still every single time I am terrified and deadly scared.

In 2014 I had convinced myself I had lymphoma, throat cancer, esophageal cancer, sarcoidosis

2015 had me with rheumatoid arthritis, ankilosing spondylitis, bladder cancer; bowel cancer, bone cancer.

2016 I was terrified of having syphilis and HIV , tested myself ten times and even then wasn't convinced I was fine (because apparently I had 'symptoms' checked my whole body in front of the mirror every day numerous times and i DID have rash appear in front of my eyes! That is when I visited psychiatrist and got on meds, and all the health anxiety subsided for some time. I then abandoned my meds because I felt better (mistake). Several months later I continued with pancreatitis, meningitis, another bout of lymphoma, multiple sclerosis, stroke, leukemia, and maybe more.

Earlier in 2017 I thought i have minor salivary gland tumor and visited an expensive specialist and he tested me with Velscope. Nothing. It was an overused muscle on the side I mainly eat on.


And now I am pregnant. Still early. I got very cold a few weeks ago and two minor lymph nodes popped up in the back of my neck. Along with cough (diagnosed by internist a viral bronchitis, thus my two smallish lymphnodes - two separate doctors told me that they are reactive and very small , not even 1 cm on long axis, let alone short. My husband also has developed one the same as I do. Thus adding to the viral part. BUT I AM TERRIFIED I HAVE LYMPHOMA.

I started to wake up in the middle of the night to check if i wasn't developing night sweats. I wasn't, but one night i did (it was before the day I found out about my pregnancy and most certainly due to change in hormones because they stopped the next day).

I also developed small petechiae several times on my arms since pregnancy most possibly due to hormones as well because they only appeared the day my hcg hormone elevated the first time. Doctor said it wasn't even petechiae but a rash due to heat and stress. But I read about leukemia and from now on monitor my whole body for bruises (which I know I am prone to... because i am a clumse). My knees are always blue and that is due to always bumping them into the table after I get up. I also get more bruises because my ferritin is low and have gotten them since I remember myself. But all in all my whole blood count came back perfect thus ruling out leukemia, not that anyone except me had worried I might have it
.. and I visited 3 doctors because of it.

My lymph nodes are getting smaller even but I still worry about lymphoma. Now that I am pregnant my health anxiety has gotten 100 times worse. I think about what if I develop cancer while i am pregnant. If in 1st trimester would they make me stop it? Or would they give chemo with the baby inside? When I go to sleep I unintentionally picture people I know without hair and eyebrows and that scare me. I can't think about happy things regarding my baby, my family and FUTURE because i honestly don't feel I have one. Scary thoughts always follow any happy thought I try to have. I am very depressed due to that. Crying on a daily basis.

And since I am pregnant I can't take any medicines for that. Don't know how to deal with it anymore
It's like suddenly my life has got rid of all joy and happiness i had.

[Caseyg89]

Hi lady!

I just recently gave birth and had horrid health anxiety the whole time I was pregnant. It is really freaking hard. Send me a message if you want to chat!

[nicol1333]

I am suffering terrible right now too. I’m 20 weeks pregnant and just got some blood work done because I thought I was having heart palpitations well when I got it back my white blood cell counts are high along with some others. My doctor doesn’t seem worried and said it could be due to pregnancy but I still need to do another follow up lab so I’m certain it’s lymphoma. I do hope you’re feeling better but wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

[swgrl09]

I am 30 weeks pregnant. I went off my medications (lexapro) when I started trying to conceive. I did okay until my second trimester, when my anxiety was sky-high and worse than ever. In the end, my doctors were all in agreement that I needed to go back on and that the lexapro was not dangerous to my baby. I was still nervous, but I spoke with 3 doctors at my OB/GYN office and my PCP at a different office and they all said that an SSRI was safe and that it was much healthier for my baby if I was on meds, feeling better, than not on meds and continuing to not sleep or eat and have panic attacks.

I have been back on my lexapro since and feel so much better. Baby continues to be healthy and growing well. My doctor said any medication other than prenatals has risks and benefits, but that the benefits far outweighed any small risk in this case.

Have you talked about how you are feeling with your ob/gyn? It may be worth a conversation so you can enjoy your pregnancy.