Aargh - What Have I Done????

[aytonangel]

Oh No!!!

Really need some tips here.

My cousins little boy is getting christened on this coming Sunday and about two months ago she asked my husband and I to be Godparents. I was thrilled and said yes straight away. I didn't give two thoughts about my problems facing people and how self concious I feel in front of them.

My self conciousness leads to worrying which leads to panicking which then leads to that 'fluffy head' feeling, ringing ears, pins and needles and the urgent desire to just hot foot it to somewhere where I feel safe and not watched. I am really starting to worry about this and have considered calling my cousin and telling her I am so sorry but I simply cannot do it. (I can feel a shiver now thinking about it)

Calling her is not an option I feel I have - I love my cousin dearly and are so close we are almost like sisters, always have been. Her asking me means an awful lot to me as I love her children like I do my own. I feel this would be an insult to her to refuse to do it no matter what the reason, I would even feel guilty if I couldn't do it because I was laid up in a hospital bed or something of that ilk.

I really need some tips and advice of how to get through this situation without making a complete ass of myself or making myself ill whilst doing it.

Anybody got any ideas?

The whole service will last about 10 mins then there is a get together afterwards. As far as I know there will be mainly my relations there and my cousins friends. The get together afterwards is no problem to me it's just the standing on the church altar in full view of all them people. Heaven forbid I drop the baby in the font in my panic [)]

[vernon]

hiya and u wont drop the baby lol, I feel exactly the same when i go to my relaxaton courde on a friday afternoon, its so hard thingking before and going there but once its done y feel mush better realy, when i get to worked up i yake a samll trabxuliser half hour before i go. but i know what u r saying churches are big dark cold rooms and they frighten me too. yake care Vernon

[nomorepanic]

I know how hard this is cos I had to do 2 christenings when I was at my worst.

One was for my niece 9 years ago now and I was at the worst point of the panic attacks but couldn't say no to this.

It was a catholic service so very long!

I got through it by thinking that I had to do it and couldn't let them down. I remember standing at the front of the church feeling as though I was going to faint at any moment. But I did it and you will too.

Get some rescue remedy in a bottle of water and sip that liberally before you go.

It will soon be over and you will enjoy it once you get into it.

Best of luck for tomorrow.

Nicola

[Sue]

Try not to even think about it until the day. You will get through it, you may feel a bit uncomfortable but you will cope. You dont have to hold the baby in Church if you are worried.

I also was a God Parent to my neice earlier this year when I was in a real state. Like Nicola, it was a Catholic service and seemed to go on for ever! I didnt hold the baby in the Church, I couldnt even hold the candle they handed to me and passed it on immediately. i needed both hands free for balancing! However, I am now so glad I it and I know I would really regret it if I had backed out.

So good luck, let us know how it goes.

Sue

[seh1980]

I'm sure that you are worrying about nothing. It sounds like you and your counsin are really close and that it would mean a lot to her if you went through with it. As you say, it will only last about 10 minutes. Just get yourself together and do it!! Just think about how proud of yourself you will be afterwards. Also, you will really regret it if you don't do it!! Good luck!!

Sarah

[sarah]

Hi there

Dont worry you will be fine!!!

I had exactly the same thing when I was asked to be godparent for my sister a couple of months ago.

I was terrified, got myself into a right old state. We had a rehersal and I made sure I went so I knew exactly what I was going to have to do. I didnt even have to hold the baby...the vicar did that bit!!!

I pulled the vicar aside after the rehersal and told him my problem and he told me his wife was the same and he would leave the side door open for me in case I needed it.

Well, I didnt need it but just knowing it was there was good enough for me. I used my rescue remedy, held a little bottle of water behind my order of service (and yes I did take it up "on stage" with me - and nobody was any the wiser).

It was a great day and a good positive to look back on!!!

You will be fine, I was and I was having a particulary bad spell then!!!!

Good luck!!

love Sarah
xx

[aytonangel]

I made it!!!

I want to thank you all for your words of encouragment. The day went off without a hitch and I found the perfect solution of how to do it. I held the baby - it gave me a good excuse to keep swaying without feeling self concious and I just concentrated on him rather than all of those around me. The priest was good as he was young and made it a less formal ceremony than the old school Priests would have.

I made sure I was ready in plenty of time and had the time to sit and have a coffee before we left. I put a big smile on my face and kept it there all through the day. They do say if you smile even if you're not happy that it can fool your brain into thinking you are happy - IT WORKS!

A lot of my problems are aggravated by rushing to be places on time as it takes me so long to 'convince' myself to go out the door. As I have mentioned in my introduction I used to suffer terribly from agraphbia so I still get that anxious feeling when outings are imminent. But I definetely recommend getting ready earlier and leaving time to relax before leaving.

So Baby Sam is Christened, I am his Godmother and all is well in the world tonight.

[nomorepanic]

Well done you!!

See it all worked out ok in the end.

We can all do something when we really have to and this proves it again.

Bet you had a great day as well.

Well done godmother lol!

Nicola

[Meg]

Well done for managing and coping so very well. We always come up trumps when we have to..

Thats great stuff .




Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[sarah]

Fatastic news!!!

Well done and congratulations!!!!
A good positive for you to look back on eh?

love Sarah
xx