As someone with this theme, could you tell me how...

[rainydayinsummer]

Yup, and how would a normal person react to someone telling them right to their face a joke that was simultaneously funny and offensive?

[rainydayinsummer]

I know that the right thing to do would be to behave just like when my OCD wasn't that bad. The thing is though, even back then, I was a pretty repressed person who would see all those callout articles telling us why some jokes or expressions are problematic and meekly accept them.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It depends on you there. Some people would laugh to not cause a problem with the person and some would be more assertive about their beliefs. It depends on many things. Some people wander around like moral guardians of the human race being offended by everything, some just let things go to keep the peace.

As far as articles go, it depends where you are reading. Some media are critical of things to the point of frustration from many. It can be a matter of where you fall on the political spectrum as yo whether you are ultra PC or the total opposite but most people vary a moderates and also understand those who bang the drum all the time for their beliefs tend to get swerved by the more moderate masses.

And we learn. Society changes. What we laughed at years ago may be offensive now. Some people can't see it as that and demand everyone feel bad for laughing years ago but most will look back and regard it as the way things were then so as not to feel guilty.

[rainydayinsummer]

Like, 9 years ago or so, somebody made a comment about how some random joke that I liked was offensive. I forgot the specific joke, but yeah, the feelings about how said comment made me feel are still there. I kinda repressed them for so long and convinced myself I was OK with pretending I was alright with people always making callout articles and posts about how certain things were offensive, but the dam had to burst after some time. I know they usually aren't right anyway, but sometimes they seem to be right, so that's where the reason for me to panic is still there even after regularly going to Internet communities where almost nothing is considered offensive. BTW, I randomly remembered said feelings today in a surprisingly clear manner, almost as if said trauma just happened yesterday.

[rainydayinsummer]

As one could probably tell, this fear is sign of a cultural conflict in my mind. My new online peer group is of the "everything could be a joke if the execution is funny enough" school, well, they sort of convinced me, but I'm not fully like that. It's just my personal beliefs, K? At the same time however, I do wanna get rid of that "trying not to laugh at offensive jokes as if I were trying to not step on poo" mentality.

[rainydayinsummer]

OK, so I'm almost over this theme, but I read some article about some people being offended by a certain joke, and these people really did go through something, so that's how I know it wasn't just a bunch of screeching SJW's. And now, I'm struggling to reconcile that with my hanging out with people who love ironically offensive jokes. (Like, the kind of humor that knows it's offensive and revels in the so-outrageous-it's-so-funny factor. BTW, this is just a roadblock. Worry about me, but not too much.)

[MyNameIsTerry]

OK, so I'm almost over this theme, but I read some article about some people being offended by a certain joke, and these people really did go through something, so that's how I know it wasn't just a bunch of screeching SJW's. And now, I'm struggling to reconcile that with my hanging out with people who love ironically offensive jokes. (Like, the kind of humor that knows it's offensive and revels in the so-outrageous-it's-so-funny factor. BTW, this is just a roadblock. Worry about me, but not too much.)

Humour is a subjective thing. Most humour can be offensive to someone at some point or on some occasion. What you may laugh at in a close group where you know you will not cause offence is different to some moron who does it knowingly in the face of someone it would hurt e.g. a joke about someone's cancer when they have just heard they had it.

From there it's about where do you draw the line. Much of the humour on TV is unpalatable to some but that doesn't mean society is sick for laughing at the outrageous. But there will always be lines of what is just too far.

You may as well be asking yourself, as someone with OCD around this, whether enjoying the violence in action movies means something about you inside. What would you say about this? Does it help to consider it from this angle if it is outside your focus on anxiety & humour?

[rainydayinsummer]

One last thing I have to say before I (hopefully) move on: it's just that, somewhere along the line in the past, I somehow picked up the notion that making offensive jokes even if it's behind someone's back is somehow like, some kind of voodoo or something towards a potentially offended party.

---------- Post added at 11:27 ---------- Previous post was at 11:20 ----------

No, I don't really have magical thinking per se, I'm talking about the idea that even edgy jokes said behind one's back is somehow an insult to the person.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It seems to me that care about others because if you didn't why would any of this be questioned? That's a good thing but worrying about upsetting others or being judged, when obsessive or consuming in some way, can be quite skewed resulting in viewing yourself unnecessarily harsh.

Making the joke about the person, but done behind their back, is obviously wrong. A general joke is a different matter.

The rest is about judging whether it is acceptable & appropriate to the audience you are with. And if you make a mistake you can always apologise, learn from the experience and move forward.

[rainydayinsummer]

Admittedly, this is more of a conscience thing: like I feel like I shouldn't find something funny knowing that someone out there would find a certain joke offensive if only they were there to hear it.