Absence after posts

[AntsyVee]

Yes, I've noticed that some of these posters frequent many anxiety sites. They post the same starting thread on four or five forums, then they only answer the threads that agree with what they are feeling. As others have mentioned, if they get answers they didn't want to hear, they don't reply.

[Carys]

Ah, thats interesting

[Fishmanpa]

Sadly, Anxiety and in particular HA, is a very self absorbing and selfish illness.

Positive thoughts

[Carys]

Yes. I'd not considered that aspect of thing.

[Dying_Swan]

Totally agree, Carys.

It's disheartening when you spend time thinking through someone's issue and writing out a response, only to never hear from them again. Even a quick thanks makes a world of difference.

I do agree that anxiety is quite a selfish illness but many sufferers I do not consider to be selfish people. In fact, quite the opposite.

[axolotl]

I always find this with meningitis-fearers... they come on panicked claiming to be terrified, I tell a personal story of my own experiences of the disease to demonstrate no, you wouldn't have been sick with it for two weeks and be well enough to be on the Internet umming and ahhing and asking about it...

But obviously by the time you've done that they've already worked out for themselves it's just a bit of a cluster headache or a mild cold and they don't bother ever coming back on to read replies.

Hey ho, what can you do?

The thing is being anxious-types ourselves there's also a very small part of you that doesn't like the lack of closure and thinks "jeez, what if I was wrong..."?

[Carys]

Indeed what can you do ? At least its not just me that is having this issue, as then it would be personal I use another forum, where people have already had a medical diagnosis and are there for advice and support with that condition, and this just never really happens. I think you are right, you post at the time of crisis, they work it out as they don't die of menengitis and never give it another thought.

[up a ladder]

Something that strikes me about this forum: I'm an active user on various forums, and have been most of my adult life, but something appears different and quite marked on here.

To elaborate - often someone posts a desperate request for help/advice/opinions, and gets various (time consuming) replies from several members. However, it is frequent that they don't return to that thread. Maybe they read the replies maybe they don't, maybe they read them and decide not to respond further, maybe they move on from the crisis they had and it becomes no longer relevant to them. I just think (and this doesn't apply to everyone here of course!) that sometimes a quick thanks, or an update to those who responded would be thoughtful and mean that those who have spent the time responding feel their time wasn't wasted.

As I say, this is a general observation, and not aimed at anyone in particular. I wonder if anyone else has noticed the same....or has any additional ideas as to why it is prevelant on the forum?

It is interesting and I do think it is the nature of the illness. There are quite a few dormant sites on the net that seemed to start well and then just dwindle out. From my own experience, I come on here when I feel crap and then steer clear when feeling better. I'm not proud of that fact and have promised myself I will be regular even if I do feel better as those of us who have been in the cycle are the ones who should be here for others. This forum does seem to have a large number of long standing members and in that lies it's strength.
I have spoken to so many people who have had a couple of weeks of anxiety and it then lifts never to appear again. I think this is where we get the people who come on and ask many urgent questions and then disappear.

[Tyke]

It is interesting and I do think it is the nature of the illness. There are quite a few dormant sites on the net that seemed to start well and then just dwindle out. From my own experience, I come on here when I feel crap and then steer clear when feeling better. I'm not proud of that fact and have promised myself I will be regular even if I do feel better as those of us who have been in the cycle are the ones who should be here for others.

I couldn't agree more. I come on here when feeling low and at times am too depressed to even turn on the computer. Other times I am doing quite well and struggle to find time to go on the computer. I never get involved in any long term communications as I know I would struggle to maintain it. I do always reply if I've got a thread going on though, it seems impolite not to do so, especially when the responders themselves are often finding it difficult. I also try to help others while I am in a bad way, I actually find it gives me a purpose and helps me feel worth something too. It is nice when you feel it actually meant something though. None of us want to waste our precious time if it really isn't that important to someone!

[Mindprison]

Words of thanks or even acknowledgement that the replies have been read are few and far between these days.

As FMP says HA is a self absorbed and selfish illness. Most don't care about the concerns of others as long as their problem has been dealt with.

I actually think it would do most of them a world of good to try and help others with their problems. I find that even as a HA sufferer myself there are problems people post here that I can't understand why they are so concerned about it and realize that my worries are just as unlikely.