Anxiety spiraling out of control-nipple discharge?

[Carys]

I find it a bit confusing with all the choices you have in the US, compared to our NHS system. WhenI had some treatment a couple of years ago I started off privately (as had good cover), but after a couple of appointments I swapped back to the NHS as I didn't want the trouble of arranging everything myself (and anyway I was seeing the same people as I was privately lol). When we go to a breast clinic here, often everything happens in the same couple of hours - see consultant, have mammo/ultrasound, have biopsies as necessary and back to the surgeon. Does nothing like that exist in the US - everything has to be spread out timewise ?

Go ahead and ask meant2l, your body, your scan I say.

[meant2live]

I’m not sure why it’s so spread out. I wish I could see the surgeon right after and have any biopsies that are necessary on the same day.

I don’t know. I see the advantages and disadvantages of both systems. I also live in a smaller area and not in a large city, so there aren’t as many doctors.

I just need to get to Friday already.

[Carys]

Yes, sorry, I wasn't trying to be negative about your system - just saying I don't understand it and find it easier (when I'm stressed ) to have the weight taken off my mind in finding people I want to see.

Its not long now....one more day.....hang on in there. xx

[meant2live]

No, I didn’t think you were being negative .

What’s weird is that, the last time I had to go through all of this, the medical offices all scheduled things for me. The set up the scans and the surgeon appointment. This time, I had to call to set up the obgyn appointment (which I didn’t keep because I panicked and got into their express care). Then, after the express care, I had to call to set up the scans. I don’t know what’s different this time.

[meant2live]

I’m starting to panic again. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed what looked like an orange peel texture on both breasts. I told myself it was stretch marks, but why did I just notice it now???

And the pain is in both breasts, my back and neck. In my mind, I’m telling myself, “Oh my gosh! The cancer is spreading to your back and neck!!”

I have good moments, but I’m having a bad time right now.

[pulisa]

I'm stating the obvious but you just need Friday to come.
Try not to let your thoughts spiral. Anticipatory anxiety is so hard to cope with.
You have done so well-not long to go now but I am sure it will seem an age.
Keep posting on here when you need us? If I were you I'd try to avoid scrutinising yourself in the mirror-you'll think you see all sorts of things.

[Carys]

meanttolive, these are honestly common responses to waiting for a scan. When I first started using the breast forum I am on, there were some people who would come on and over the course of the two weeks waiting they had multiple symptoms appear - pain in all sorts of locations, swollen parts, changes to their body/skin/glands...all sorts. Nearly all of those people who noticed these ' worrying things' during the course of the wait didn't have breast cancer. It was a very vivid imagination fulled by fear and hypersensitivity to their usual body state.

Pulisa is right, the anticipatory anxiety is really - to my mind - the hardest anxiety in the world to deal with. So much time for your mind to keep searching and worrying.

You are so nearly there now........

[meant2live]

Thank you, both. Yes, I just need to get there. I’m trying to deep breathe when I begin to freak out.

Originally, my mom was supposed to come with me, but my husband is now attempting to get off of work. I hope he can. Then my mom can stay home with our little one. My dad was supposed to watch her alone, but he’s not as fast as she is.

[pulisa]

I hope your husband can come and support you through this. It's entirely natural to feel as you do-uncertainty and not knowing is torture and gives your mind plenty of scope to imagine the very worst....But it is just your mind doing this to yourself.
I hope the hours speed by today for you. What time is your appointment tomorrow?

[meant2live]

My husband just found out that he is allowed to take the day off tomorrow, so he’ll be with me. I’m grateful for that.

My mind feels like it’s playing tricks on me. Now it feels like my left nipple is itchy and that freaks me out. Breathe...breathe.

The appointment is at 10:30 tomorrow, so what...3:30pm for you? I can’t remember the time difference. Maybe it’ll be 2:30 for you. I’m not sure of the time change.