I am back AGAIN , I literally go happy and fine and carefree for a while sometimes weeks or months then mainly after to drinking alcohol and being hungover I end up back in a spiral of complete worry and self checking, I’m back checking the moles over again and of course now cannot shake it, since last time I checked the mole 3 months ago it’s not grown at all still 3.75mm by 2.5mm and not got any bigger, but yet it’s my complete focus point I think what if it’s growing down into me , I know I know I’m being stupid but cannot help it, I have 2 children and love them all my heart I just worry about dying and having cancer it’s so crazy why I cannot be normal I don’t know, sometimes I just feel so low when I’m this rut, I’m 100% knocking the alcohol on the head for a while it’s the devil , I needed to rant this out as my wife is sick of hearing it and being told to check my moles etc, I get 0 sympathy now and told to just grow up and as u all know it’s easier said than done , when I get like this I don’t wanna work or do nothing just wanna lay in bed and sit in the bath for hours, hate thinking what if, and horrible thoughts sorry for going on :(