Fears about female cancer taking over my life

[Lyd]

Hi everyone,
This is my first post but I’ve often found this website useful in the past.
I know that I need to deal with my health anxiety as it’s getting out of hand. I have become completely convinced that I have/will develop a female cancer.
For background I’m 36, I have two children however I lost my first child at 41 weeks 15 years ago and I think this is where my HA comes from.
I have had two c sections in the last 10 years, following this my periods became so bad that I had to have iron infusions (at one point my iron count was 2). Last year I had an ablation to stop my periods and was also sterilised - the dr did a biopsy of my womb and said everything is fine. Despite my constant fears about cervical cancer, a smear test before xmas is also clear.
Since the ablation I still have periods but they’re very light followed by up to a week of spotting. It’s the spotting that is freaking me out. It does stop completely after 3-6 days after period and then I’m fine but it terrifies me. I had a scan yesterday and they saw calcification and cysts in the myometrium of my uterus so now I’m a complete mess - the lady doing the scan was lovely and said several times that she’s not worried about anything, cysts are usually no big deal, probably just because of the ablation but she’s going to get the Dr to review the pictures.
To me that’s it, further proof that it’s all going wrong in there and cancer is just inevitable, if not already there. I’m trying to be sensible - literally no one else is worried. Advice on sorting my head out??
Thank you x

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your issue.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

Please also read this post:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=213239

[Lyd]

Hi,

Can anyone help?

Xx

[Carys]

Hiyer, sorry you've not had a reply....I did see your post but know nothing about the types of symptoms/tests and results you've had....but I'll try and say something as essentially it is anxiety and not believing the doctors/radiographer etc.

I had a scan yesterday and they saw calcification and cysts in the myometrium of my uterus so now I’m a complete mess - the lady doing the scan was lovely and said several times that she’s not worried about anything, cysts are usually no big deal, probably just because of the ablation but she’s going to get the Dr to review the pictures.

This is tough, you've had the tests and done the right thing, you've had much reassurance and still your mind is going to the 'but but what if'. I guess its about trying to pull your mind back to the logical place and learning to reassure yourself. I would write yourself a list on paper, get some A4 and fold it in half down the middle....on one side write the results of the tests, the reassurances you have had, all the positive things you've been told, like:

SIDE A of the paper:
Cysts are no big deal
The radiographer said several times she isnt worried about anything
Due to the ablation
Radiographers are skilled people they study for year to be able to read the scans
Radiographers can easily tell if something needs further testing, they do it day in and day out
I've had a uterine biopsy it was clear
The consultant is only reviewing the results because they have to as part of the procedure
etc
etc
etc (there must be loads of things to add to the list here, I bet it could be 30 or 40 points long if you tried hard but they must ONLY be positive things and reassuring things)
My bleeding pattern isn't concerning them
Anyone always has the risk of getting a physical illness, but I have been checked and tested with good results
Even IF in the extraordinarily unlikey event there is something there which is 'a fear of mine', then it will be treated and dealt with


SIDE B of the paper:
Ok now on the other side of the paper, write your fears:

They must be missing something
The doctor is looking because the radiographer is worried
etc

( I think you should find this side is MUCH shorter )

_____________________________________

So, when you find yourself looking or thinking of those things on side B and your mind is in that place, turn the paper over to Side A. Read those things, and read them aloud if you need to ! Keep doing this, repeating everytime your mind goes into the negative side.


I don't know if this will work for you......you might be able to add things to Side A (the positive side) as you go along, or from other replies on here ?

---------- Post added at 10:33 ---------- Previous post was at 10:18 ----------

Also.....

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/healthanxiety

[Lyd]

Thank you so much for your reply, I appreciate it so much.
I like the idea of comparing a long list of positives to what I know is a short list of ‘yes, but it could be...’.
At the moment I’m trying to concentrate on the (hopeful) fact that if it was something it must be very early and therefore more treatable.
I just wish I could lose this feeling that cancer is inevitable - if not this then something else. I know many many people never develop cancer, or at least not until well into old age. Why do I think I’m going to die young from it?
I can only think HA has been triggered long ago with the stillbirth of my son and then PSTD followed by some pretty minor gynaecology issues that I have continually blow out of proportion until it’s reached this level.
I’ve wasted at least 10 years worrying, 10 years I haven’t had had cancer - one day I might actually get it but then how many years will I have been stressed out worrying.

[Carys]

At the moment I’m trying to concentrate on the (hopeful) fact that if it was something it must be very early and therefore more treatable.

That can go on the positive side, as I think it is You know, I think part of really recovering from HA is understanding that in life each and everyone of us, at some point, will likely get something that needs treating. We live longer than ever before, especially us women, and it is BECAUSE of medical treatments that we do that.

I think, from what you have just written that you are very self-aware about what you are doing to yourself, and have quite a lot of clarity. With statements like this...

I’ve wasted at least 10 years worrying, 10 years I haven’t had had cancer

....tell me that with the right approach, and effort on your side, you can beat this! I'm terribly sorry to hear of the stillbirth and PTSD, I am presuming there was some counselling following that ?

[Lyd]

I do like to think that I have a grasp on why I worry about this particular area - if I get a headache I don’t think it’s a brain tumour etc, it’s just gynaecology issues.

Unfortunately there wasn’t a lot of counselling offered. I understand services have improved in recent years. I was given two sessions at the hospital (these were held in the same room I was taken to wait in after I found out he’d died) with a male counsellor who just gave me some leaflets. I was put on Prozac and it took me a long time to sort myself out - which I thought I had done except this one issue that just floors me completely. I am just obsessed with the notion that this will definitely happen, that it is an absolute certainty. It’s that belief that I know I need to work around - for example, even if the Dr signs off on the cysts/scan I know I’m not going to accept it. I’ve been researching private hysterectomies but I know that is serious HA!

[Carys]

I was given two sessions at the hospital (these were held in the same room I was taken to wait in after I found out he’d died) with a male counsellor who just gave me some leaflets.

Oh my word ! Yes, thankfully great improvements.