I’m going to try my best to keep this post as short as possible but feel like I had to share my own experiences suffering with social anxiety over the years. As a child I was quite shy, never anything extreme. Growing up however I witnessed a lot of domestic abuse and violence at home which made me even more shy and ultimately anxious and fearful. I never received any help with what I experienced as a child and I do believe it caused a lot of my anxiety and depression problems as an adult.
For years growing up I went through good and bad times. The good times were fun and happy but I always found life stressful even when I was enjoying it. The bad times were troubling! During my teenage years I messed around with drugs like ecstasy and cannabis which didn’t help my mental health. My late teens is where things got really bad as I became extremely socially anxious and depressed which ultimately led me to become agoraphobic.
Fast forward 10 years to now and I’m in my late 20s. Since those bad days I’ve improved a lot and done things I never thought I’d do. But I still was never happy, not fully. Not the way I was seeing people around me live their lives. I could leave the house and do most things but I was still suffering from bad SA!
I don’t need to list the symptoms as if you’re reading this then you probably already know.... SA ruled my life and I had just learned to accept it and just exist.
I then began reading forums and trying natural remedies for my anxiety and to improve my mood. I tried St. John’s Wort and other OTC medicines but none of them worked...
Then I was recommended to try PHENIBUT
If you don’t know what it is - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phenibut
I spent weeks and weeks of research reading about it and reading review after review. I was scared to try it at first but after suffering for so long I tried it.
And my life changed instantly.... It’s difficult to explain in words but I just felt like everyone else. I could FEEL happiness. I became confident and sociable and energetic and motivated. My mind was crystal sharp, I felt more intelligent, my memory was amazing... but most importantly, my social anxiety had completely disappeared.... life was amazing! I used to spring out of bed in the morning and seize the day, excited about life.
This was something I had never felt in my life. Before this it seems I was in a constant state of depression and anxiety.
Now I had read all the warnings and guidance about dosage regarding phenibut but I do have an addictive personality and I began to push it. I was taking more than I should have and on more days than I should.... the effect was the same. Even though I was taking a drug, I never ever felt “on something” and no one ever commented that I was either. They just seen me as being happy and confident as they had never seen me before...
But then something changed. I had been using it for about 2 months which I have to say were the best 2 months of my life...
I ran out of it and had ordered more but would need to wait a week before receiving more... this meant that I started to experience withdrawal symptoms and as I had been taking too much and on more days, the withdrawal was horrific....
I experienced the WORST anxiety of my life with numerous panic attacks daily. I could not sleep. I was in a constant state of extreme fear... it’s so hard to describe but the worst terrifying fear. I ended up spending a night in hospital and was given diazepam to calm me. I came clean to the hospital and told them what I’d been taking and they had never heard of it...
Anyway, that was 2 months ago and since then I haven’t touched phenibut and I’ve been on Citalopram and propranolol. These medicines haven’t really done much but take the panic attacks away.... the social anxiety and depression is back and the guy who I was when I was taking phenibut is completely gone! My life has fallen apart since then. I’ve dropped out of college, hardly see any friends and my depression leaves me tired with me regularly sleeping the days away....
Now the reason I’m sharing this is for various reasons. One being that if anyone is ever thinking about taking phenibut, then please please don’t be as stupid as I was.... if you do decide to take it then follow the guidelines...
Lastly, this drug completely cured me. I can say that 100%! It made me feel alive!! But it is not regulated and I think if only more research was done into its effects and safety and if possible could be used in some way professionally by the NHS.... then a lot of us here would be completely CURED of social anxiety forever!
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