Matted lymph node?

[Pandarug]

I had a lymph node on my neck for least 3 years (that’s when I noticed it but I never checked before) it’s about 1 cm across and I’m pretty sure it hasn’t changed in size. It’s soft and I can slide it around it feels like one main one with a very little shoddy one right next to it. When I noticed 3 years ago it scared me so much I had my hands on it 24/7 and was constantly prodding. Now I’m prodding again and I’m pretty worried. I’m worried about this being melanoma. Apparently these aren’t anything but bad news.

Update: I can move them independently I believe

[Pandarug]

I’ve been crying all morning. I don’t want to make another post but I feel as though my left breast is the slightest bit denser than my right. I also have been worrying about my nail color and if it’s been normal.

[Carys]

Pandarug,

but I feel as though my left breast is the slightest bit denser than my right

Yep, and? It may well be, and if it is then that would be like a vast majority of other females. The human body isn't entirely symmetrical, most women have one side that is larger and denser than the other.



This current HA episode started off with the tiny disappearing blue mole thread (which was more than likely, exceedingly likely not even a blue mole anyway as it fell off on its own three years ago!) You are now moving on, as HA people do, to lymph nodes, a freckle on a toe, a breast that is different etc. You are now looking, analysing, prodding, checking, imagining all sorts of things in order to build the picture that something is very wrong with you based on this small dark mark on your heel from 3 years ago. I've been there. I've done this. I've had a long list of things ranging from 'yellow roof of mouth' to 'left eye sinking in'. I once went to a doctor with this list when I was around 19 years old, and there was literally nothing wrong with me - just as is the same for you now. The human mind is strong and complex, it can convince you of things that really are NOT there.

I don't know if you can put your finger on what set you off on this HA spiral again - with me it was other stressful things in my life at the time and it started off the HA - it was a symptom of my anxious mind. Is there something happening which is making you feel anxious?

As for the lymph nodes, freckle, breast, blue mole and whatever else you come up with today....that isn't the issue....your mental health is the issue. You've been here before a few years ago, you know this 'game' already and how it plays out. ;o)

[Pandarug]

This current HA episode started off with the tiny disappearing blue mole thread (which was more than likely, exceedingly likely not even a blue mole anyway as it fell off on its own three years ago!) You are now moving on, as HA people do, to lymph nodes, a freckle on a toe, a breast that is different etc. You are now looking, analysing, prodding, checking, imagining all sorts of things in order to build the picture that something is very wrong with
As for the lymph nodes, freckle, breast, blue mole and whatever else you come up with today....that isn't the issue....your mental health is the issue. You've been here before a few years ago, you know this 'game' already and how it plays out. ;o)

Thank you for replying. I really really hope it’s my mental health. My episode started back in November with my throat. It’s my first post on this account. Before that though I had more subtle fears about leukemia. This time feels different as in worse. I petrified and depressed and I feel so alone. And I hate my situation in the fact I have to wait and I have no independence. I go to the dermatologist March 12th A MONTH AWAY!! Everyone here can just make next day appointments and get all the scans they want. My parents aren’t thrilled they’re taking me to the dermatologist when they already took me to the doctors but I don’t think I’ll feel fully calm until I get scans. I just neeed to know. I have no peace of mind.

[Carys]

Scans of what though? Dermatologist for what though?

[Pandarug]

Scans of what though? Dermatologist for what though?

I have lots of other moles I hate. I been having bouts of breathlessness since my respitory infection in late December. I really want these lymph nodes checked too.

[z_seroz]

Trust me. if your nodes are soft like you said they are not cancerous. You'll know if you have something bad. You had a respiratory infection which lead to shotty lymph nodes. Everybody has moles. Your moles are probably a round shape which is good. Even if they aren't, they're good considering they're just moles.

[Carys]

Everyone here can just make next day appointments and get all the scans they want.

Do you know, I do wonder if the US health system makes people engage with HA for longer than in the UK? I'm not saying that to be rude to you at all, but its something I've wondered for a long time and hearing some US input would be interesting. Obviously HA is a global mental health issue. However, in the UK if we have no reason for a doctor to think we need referrals, tests, scans or assorted other medical interventions....then they don't happen. Over there, people can buy reassurance over and over and over.

---------- Post added at 17:50 ---------- Previous post was at 17:47 ----------

I really really hope it’s my mental health.

I bet it is !

You know, I think this chest infection in December has set you off on this same HA spiral that you had 3 years ago. I think it was the trigger.

[Pandarug]

Trust me. if your nodes are soft like you said they are not cancerous. You'll know if you have something bad. You had a respiratory infection which lead to shotty lymph nodes. Everybody has moles. Your moles are probably a round shape which is good. Even if they aren't, they're good considering they're just moles.

The lymph nodes I have have been there for years. Also I have a lot of irregular moles.You can see pictures of them on my old posts. I just wish I was 40. This would honestly feel not as bad if I was older. I just want to be old.

[Carys]

I just wish I was 40. This would honestly feel not as bad if I was older. I just want to be old.

Why ?

Errrr, as someone who is nearly 50, can I take offense at '40' being old ?

---------- Post added at 18:00 ---------- Previous post was at 17:58 ----------

Trust me here, it makes no difference the age you are having HA. The fears, patterns of thought and fears are the same no matter the age.