Hello!! this is my first post on this website and i am hoping i will be able to get some input and advice here! Since my baby boy was born about 5 months ago I have been pretty anxious, after i had my daughter over 4 years ago it was the same way just different fears, and very irrational ones at that. Anyways it seems like this all was too much on top of trying to cope with 2 kids and about 2 months after he was born I was on my way to pick up my boyfriend and my vision was wobbly it seemed like i was on a boat swaying back and forth and i was terrified i was going to pass out and ended up having a terrible panic attack and after that things have been very off for me. Before this bad panic attack my vision was weird like everything it was seeing was too much for it to process if that makes sense, and i was feeling dizzy and light headed a lot to the point i would avoid carrying my newborn too much because i would get anxious about passing out and hurting him in the process. Anyways after the panic attack is when my OCD and the DP/DR started... nothing looked real or right to me like how i would typically see everything it was all just off. I questioned whether people or anything around me was even real and whether or not we were all part of a simulation... it was constantly on my mind and i would search to see similar experiences but it only helped ease my anxiety about it for maybe an hour at most. I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel on the verge of going crazy im not sure if maybe i was having a panic attack attack in my sleep and woke up in the midst of it but anytime i wake up in the middle of the night now i have terrible derealization like nothing looks right to me or real. Due to this DP/DR and anxiety 24/7 i have become depressed, is that possible to get depression that would go away once the DP/DR and anxiety go away? my other symptoms are my short term memory is terrible i can barely remember what i did at the beginning of the day when i try to think about it at night and that stresses me out because typically my memory is excellent but once this has hit my memory just seems to be the worst its ever been! i still remember all the long term stuff just no the recent things! Also it seems like my days go by in a blur like really fast, and i dont take it all in like everything i did. I have a constant feeling like any second i could go crazy and end up doing something i would seriously regret... this is probably my harm ocd coming into play... its annoying because i hate when my boyfriend goes to work because all i can think about is what if i end up having a break from reality and do something crazy. i also have really bad health anxiety with not only me but my kids i always think every pain and breathing difference is something terrible! lately i have been very short of breath too which stresses me out its like i cant take a deep breathe like something is blocking me from being able to. I also have terrible moods like im irritated and moddy most of the time because i hate feeling like this, is this a normal symptom? This has been going on for over 3 months and i cant take it at this point... like its hard for me to type this out because my brain cant really think easy right now... does this sound like DP/DR and anixety or could i be going crazy?? the questioning reality, is this a typical symptom of DP/DR? can you get depressed from prolonged feelings like this? is it normal to be pretty irritated and just moody while dealing with this? is the short term memory loss normal??? the weird vision like everything seeming bright and looking different is this normal? please any answers would be appreciated im just lost right now!! thank you in advance!!
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