As the title says really, I'm very much struggling at the moment. In fact I'd say I've completely lost it.

I feel terrible writing this, but I'm so depressed. I feel completely overwhelmed with everything. Baby is hungry all the time, and has recently started crying every waking hour for no reason, she's sick quite a lot and it's terrifying, it shoots out so far and there's so much of it that it scares me. Midwife's have said it's fine, I don't think it is. Im worried there's something wrong with her, I'm constantly checking her when she's sleeping, but when she starts to wake up I get a feeling of dread, I'm worn out, last night I broke down in the kitchen at 2am crying uncontrollably then locked myself in my bedroom and my partner had to miss a day of work. He says he understands but his employer won't.

I feel utterly useless, I didn't give birth the right way and now I can't cope or comfort my baby. I love her so much, but I'm feeling like her and dad would be better off without me.