Oh Katie! I was there. Maybe ask about colic? It’s dreadful, but it’ll give you some piece of mind knowing what is wrong. I actually had a form of gripe water shipped to me from England to the states. It’s called Woodward’s Gripe water. It worked well, but he did still cry. I also swaddled him. He fussed for the first five minutes or so but then calmed and was actually quite comforted by being swaddled. I also wore him, in a baby carrier on my chest. I made sure his face was close enough to mine to kiss (for safety) and then bounced him to sleep by moving up and down. Then I ate something quietly and made sure I was hydrated-both key to helping PPA/PPD, because you can’t do much about the sleep part. He just needed that time close to me and being upright helped the colic. Try that, I promise it’s amazing how well it works. Anything for some relief. I have a Boba wrap if you can’t get one. I’d be happy to ship it to you, no charge! Just watch YouTube videos for how to wrap it correctly.
I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel Katie and it’s not a train-it’s incredibly hard to see right now, but around the 4-5 month mark, you world will shift!
Don’t be ashamed-I was too so it’s common to be ashamed. Heck, I even thought I was hiding it well, I wasnt. I’m crying now just thinking about it. It’s dreadful and you feel so alone. I want to hop on a plane and come help you right now that’s how bad I know you feel. Talk to your GP and they will guide you, if not anyone else-talk to your doctors. You’re a great mom for seeking help and giving that little girl the best version of you.
Hugs my friend!