Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

I'm still plodding on with the new place, now at the 'box' stage, that's unpacking the many boxes that were only packed last week. I'm finding this is a good time to declutter. If there's no place for it or it doesn't suit, out it goes.
Mr C is feeling very happy and me too! It's a hard job for someone without anxiety, but I am finding the strength from somewhere, so never doubt you can't do anything.
The weather and temperature is just perfect at the moment, a real blessing when you have a lot of running around to do.
This will be our first home together with just the two of us, no caring duties, with our own things. Not forgetting our cat who I hope will like it just as much as we do.
Yesterday I took a long pause and sat down and took it all in for a while. The place, the decorating, our bits and pieces perfectly displayed and felt my eyes welling up with joy and pride that I was able to achieve being able to accomplish such a major task.
I'm calling it my little palace, although I feel more like Snow White when I open the bedroom window which looks on to the most prettiest and secluded garden with a a vast amount of collective birdsong.
All very fairytale, but to me it is. A fairytale come true. To be able to even contemplate a move and build a home from scratch when months ago I could only just about make dinner.
I'm also the proud mother of twelve pheasant chicks. It's the first time I have experienced seeing and watching a female and her babies. They are all the same colour and resemble a female at this stage.
They clamber their way around what must seem like long grass, hopping more than walking and making mum very anxious as they wander off in all directions. The dad stands guard, but it is the female that seems to have her work cut out. She sits on all twelve to keep them warm when sun goes down and barely has time to herself.
So, having lunch today at the new abode and probably opening a few more boxes.
It beats me why we collect all this stuff that we hide away in cupboards for decades never seeing the light of day. The word 'useful', 'handy', 'sentimental' keeps cropping up, but so is a pile of newspapers.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Wow, it brought tears to my eyes to read such a joyful post! It just goes to show that "this too shall pass" and when we're having a bad day, we need to remember to just go with it, wait it out, and know that the good days DO come again! I can totally relate to the window view: my window is what made me finally decide to pull the trigger on quitting my job. I was standing at my window waiting for my coffee and tears started to pour down my face. My husband asked what was wrong and I stated that this is what I wanted to see more often: the trees, the pond, the wildlife, the wonders of nature, and it's what truly makes me happy. So now I have to ask: how does your cat like the pheasants?

So nice that you and Mr. C. are in a happy place today. Embrace it and soak it up, it's very healing!
Sue

[Buster70]

Hi there , it’s good to read you are settling into your new place and for the first time it is just for you , I guess that’s a kind of bitter sweet feeling, I read long ago that if you haven’t used something for over two years you should get rid , it’s a rule I’ve ignored my whole life which is why moving would be a nightmare, I just move things from one place to another , without eBay I’d be drowning in junk .
Hope you find peace in your new mini palace.

[Carnation]

The cat is good Sue, we've trained him, (watch out BGT, that's AGT to you Sue )
It's the Magpies and Sparrow-Hawks we have to watch out for.
I wonder how many times we've all spent looking out of a window wishing, hoping, even praying?
A job can be a noose around your neck for most, but I believe we still need to dabble in something to keep us from staring out of the window all day!
My new next door neighbour suffers from a debilitating physical condition but she has a sewing business that keeps her going which will be handy when I rip my jeans.
Buster, thanks for your best wishes and if you find the highest point where you are at the moment and jump up and down, I may just see the top of your head, that's if you have a hat with a beacon on it.
For whatever reason, both Mr C and I felt tired yesterday, even though we didn't actually do that much.
Is it possible to have days of a delay in exhaustion? I believe so. The body/mind must step up in times of need and recover when we feel more safe and secure, hello anxiety! You can have delay with grief so why not Anxiety?
The next couple of weeks I am spending between the two places. We have a notice that overlaps which I am grateful for in my condition. The only downside is now having to look after two places. Huh, you can never win, can you?
Today the high UVs are out and so is my hand reared bean which now stands at 6ft.
He was grown as an experiment in a conservatory. Was one of six, but the only one that survived. We had so many freezing nights so I kept him inside until yesterday.
I've never done anything like that before, but creating life does bring me a purpose even if it is in a strange way.

[DustingMyselfOff]

I've always found that the second day after either physical or mental exertion is the most exhausting. Whether it be a big day at the gym or an emotional crisis, I expect the crash the next day but it's always two days after when it hits the hardest. And, I am finding that I am exhausted for absolutely no reason at all these days, sporadically, and thanks to this forum, I am getting better at not dwelling on it, analyzing it, stressing about it, but instead giving into it and accepting that there may or may not be a "good" reason for it. That works great when I have no commitments, but when it hits when I have to be somewhere and be functional, it's a bit more challenging.

I hope someday to stop over-analyzing everything, and I think I'm getting there.... slowly. In the past if I started feeling unwell or weary, I would get very anxious about all the things I had to do while feeling that way. Now I'm trying to tell myself that if I don't feel well, I can cancel whatever plans I have, lie down, and chalk it up to having caught a virus, or the weather, or something that stressed me a few days ago, or worrying subconsciously about something that's coming up in the future, or perhaps just being old!
Sue

[Carnation]

You're learning Sue

[DustingMyselfOff]

You're learning Sue

I might be learning, or it might be the change in meds, or it might be a result of being retired now for 2.5 months. For example, my adult son is taking me to a new casino (out of state) for dinner and gambling tonight to celebrate Mother's Day. NORMALLY I would be a wreck and would have been for days now. First, I am intimidated by being committed to a social engagement with anyone, even my own adult children. :( Second, it's going to include me driving ON THE HIGHWAY to his house, and then he will drive from there. He offered to come pick me up but that would be an hour out of the way so I'm going to put on my big girl pants and drive there. I'm telling myself that if I freak and panic I'll get off the nearest exit and continue on back roads only, but I'm hoping the hypnosis I had a few weeks ago is still holding strong regarding the highway driving.

I'm definitely not physically ill about my trip (30 minutes from now) like I would have been in the past, and I'm ALMOST excited about the challenge and the outing. Definitely a step in the right direction, whether it be due age, medication, hypnosis, or retirement, I'll take it!
Sue

[Carnation]

I'm proud of you Sue
Enjoy your 'James Bond' evening.

[DustingMyselfOff]

So.... another lesson learned / confirmed tonight. I was nervous on the drive, but no panic attacks. Got to my son's house, he drove from there, we had dinner, and then were sitting at a BlackJack table having a good time. THEN I had the rush of panic/anxiety. Was thinking about excusing myself to the ladies room but instead decided to just accept that there was a good reason for me to be feeling anxious (delayed response) and that if I just stayed put, it might pass. It did. The rest of the evening was fun, but the ride home from his house was a white-knuckle drive. Not only is my night vision poor, but it was pouring rain.

So it seems you and I have both had some victories as of late, and we should both be proud, and we should also now give ourselves time to rest and recover!
Sue

[Carnation]

Ahhh, I may have an answer to that Sue.
Apparently, and it's taken me a hell of a long time to work this out.
If you get overexcited, we can feel the same response as if we were in panic, cue the head rush.
We are not in danger or fearful, but the sudden chemical change can produce this head rush sensation or lightheadedness.
I don't know why I didn't realise this before.
Because our chemical balance is not as it should be to begin with, the sudden change from being low to high status can cause this rush and as you know it's only momentarily.
Thinking back on occasions that had this affect makes me realise this could be true, when at the time I thought it was a danger sign.
Just recently I've had two of those rushes at my new place, when I was feeling quite happy and excited.
Is it possible Sue, that this is what happened with you last night and your leaving party?
I'm racking my brains thinking back to the many head rushes that threw me in to panic and finding a link to excitement.
And very rarely do I get them in a traumatic situation, it's when I seem to be doing something that pumps the adrenalin in the fashion of enjoyment.
It passes and settles, it's not part of a panic attack, it's anxiety in adrenalin form of being overwhelmed with excitement.
Your white knuckle ride would be understandable because you were waiting for a repercussion which I can confidently tell you never came.
The incident set off the 'fear' inside you and left you feeling anxious and there you have anxiety in play.
If it happens again, try processing it as a reaction to adrenalin excitement and smile it away and see what happens.
This would also explain the many sufferers that become addicted to running /sport. It rids the adrenalin!