Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

For a moment there I thought you were talking about a new Indie band

[Carnation]

Sue, it will not come as a surprise to you that anxiety particularly attacks people that tend to be more intelligent.
Probably because of the ability to multitask, problem solve and overwork our brain.
Darksky you do get about, B&Q, PC World, and big stores, good for you.
So, what's with these Dyson fans? One must investigate.
Sue, in answer to your questions.......
I knew that because that is the pattern I go through when my anxiety is high or going through a relapse. And it is the same pattern of many others.
Why?
God knows, we'll he probably does, but he can't tell us.
Seriously, and this is just my opinion.
We have a habit of going back to our old ways and basically doing too much too soon!
I learned this the hard way.
A real long chill is needed like you were on holiday for a month.
Now that's not in the nature of most of us and we get fidgetyitus. (that's a name I made up)
So there you have it. Too much too soon, brain sends message to body and what do us mortals do, we try and fight against it.

[Carnation]

Urgh!! Why are BT engineers so useless!!!!
"Madam, have you got an aerial?"
Duh "Eh, I think so, is it that metal thingy sticking out of the roof?" I ask you, insult to injury or what?
"Ahh, but is it compatible?"
"What with? Your brain?"
They twiddle with the leads that I've painfully put together as per the diagram on the box as if to intimidate me with a so-called knowledge of electrical genius. Then stand with hands on hips noticing the many pockets in their unruly trousers wearing a t-shirt that seems never to have had contact with an iron, ever! Then thinking to myself, "if you can't operate an iron, then the chances of you fixing my tv is like a 100-1.
Then I feel almost insulted when I've realised he's walked through my home with lumps of dried mud trailing behind him and I cringe further when he asks where the toilet is. Oh no, OCD kicks in, will have to fumigate the bathroom, dare I say I found residue.
He was there all of five minutes, two in the loo, one twiddling the aerial lead and 3 tapping away on his IPAD. £85 and a mutter about me changing my aerial.
So, ignoring his advice, I'm off to get a booster today. It's a thingy to boost the reception of any aerial, mainly used in areas of poor reception.
I've also phoned the BT customer service line to have my charge revoked, especially as they told me several times, "there's a fault on your line".
So today I seem to have a million things to do. Yes I know, that's an exaggeration, but my list is long and I intend to tick them all off.
When I woke this morning I thought I had an ear infection or a bite/sting from an undesirable flying object. But it turned out I had slept with my ear crushed and bent over. That's a new one on me, but after ten minutes of inspection and another ten minutes of cooling down, it seems to be fine.
Funny things ears, but they are useful. For hanging jewellery from.
Mr C has been grumpy of late. Don't know why, but he's had to do a lot of jobs lately mainly in the form of boxes.
He put on the new headboard yesterday and again we had 4 pieces left over. It took him an hour to do that and my face screwed up when I saw him pushing a giant screw through the cloth of my newly purchased bed.
This move seems to be taking forever. Mind you, we only had a shell to work with, not even white goods in the kitchen or curtains. Good opportunity to redecorate, which I did. And now it's almost finished. The vast amount of boxes in the garage can stay there while I try to enjoy the pleasures if my strategically placed furnishings and frills, unfortunately minus a tv.

[Darksky]

Can't cope without a TV I'm watching the Hatton Garden robbery at the moment. It's really good.
I admit to leaving the iron on it's stand as much as I can. Since MrD retired I haven't had to iron a shirt and I time the tumble dryer just right so stuff comes out crease free.

Been busy today. Cat at vets with squits. Now this I'm annoyed with. He has an extremely delicate stomach, due to a gut full of bacteria when I picked him up as a kitten. After a shed load of antibiotics we got him straight but there was only one food he could tolerate and was ok for a couple of years on it. It was a perscription diet especially for food intolerances. Now they've decided to change the recipie and alter the main source of protein. So a couple of weeks in, it's now seriously upset his stomach. Talk about squit city. He's long haired as well. Why oh why change something that doesn't need fixing. Well I do know...money. Cheaper ingredients and all that. I feel an email complaint coming on.

anyway then we shot off to the cash and carry, spent more cash on stuff we needed but don't really want, by which I mean it's not cushions or candles. Just finished tea and then we're off to Sainsbury's for the food shop.

Just remembered I haven't walked the pooches yet either. They might have to put up with a chase round the garden today.

when I get back I shall have a well deserved glass of cider and a bag of Tyrell's and settle down to Hatton Garden again.

[DustingMyselfOff]

You guys are making me feel like a slug: I think my biggest accomplishment today will be getting my butt off the couch and getting dressed! And, oh my I would not, could not, survive without a TV in every room! It's an awful habit but I have to have something playing at all times, even if I'm doing chores around the house, I need the background stimulation.

Today I'm trying to force myself to get dressed and go do something. My list of "things I should do when I retire" is getting longer, and I'm checking off less and less of them. While I was still a whirlwind multi-tasker who was accomplishing things at least 18 hours a day I dreamed of what my retired days would look like. I had a plan that I would be getting up early, walking the dogs, then exercising, doing yoga, cleaning the house, spend some time on hobbies, volunteering at the humane society, experimenting with cooking, etc. Today I realized I've been out of work 2.5 months and no such regimen exists. I sleep late, I lounge over coffee and breakfast and my computer (and TV) for several hours, and then I begrudgingly shower and get presentable. Then I either run an errand or two or I do some chores but most of the time I would rather be back on the couch with my hobby, TV, and laptop.

Now SOME days I am a whirlwind once I get going and try to tell myself to slow down because I am all hyped up with feeling good and full of energy and I know I'll overdo it. So I guess what bothers me is the two extremes: some days I'm a energy ball who accomplishes a lot, and other days I do nothing. I need to find some balance that makes me happy.

Is it too soon to be expecting myself to have a good routine? I don't want to turn into a couch potato who dwells on her health issues and anxiety, I want to not think about either of those things one day!
Sue

[Darksky]

I think it all depends on what's right for you Sue. What you feel like doing. Don't push for the sake of pushing.
when Mr.D retired ( about the same time as you) he suffered from lack of routine. He stopped going out to work and at first he was very aimless. He got up late everyday, showered and then did a bit of jigsaw. Then got on the computer. He kept forgetting what day it was. Despite the fact the we still have our own business which was going on around him, he lacked structure and did very little, which he didn't like.

now, he gets up as normal and gets outside involved in the business. He's a lot happier for it now he has some structure. Of course, he doesn't have to factor in anxiety like we do. We have to cut ourselves some slack. We need rest days but I also think we need something to do. Some outside interest, volunteering or something. Boredom and isolation are my enemies.

[DustingMyselfOff]

I think it all depends on what's right for you Sue. What you feel like doing. Don't push for the sake of pushing.
when Mr.D retired ( about the same time as you) he suffered from lack of routine. He stopped going out to work and at first he was very aimless. He got up late everyday, showered and then did a bit of jigsaw. Then got on the computer. He kept forgetting what day it was. Despite the fact the we still have our own business which was going on around him, he lacked structure and did very little, which he didn't like.

now, he gets up as normal and gets outside involved in the business. He's a lot happier for it now he has some structure. Of course, he doesn't have to factor in anxiety like we do. We have to cut ourselves some slack. We need rest days but I also think we need something to do. Some outside interest, volunteering or something. Boredom and isolation are my enemies.

I totally agree, and am so glad Mr. D has found his perfect balance. The "slug" part of me really enjoys just lounging leisurely for the first half of the day (it's like having a 7-day weekend!) but the corporate, creative, motivated part of me says "get your butt up and do something!"

I think part of the problem (maybe a big part) is that I am a night owl. Always have been, always will be. I drag myself through most days but then come alive at 7:00 or 8:00 p.m. and that's when I'm motivated to start projects, much to the dismay of my husband.
Sue

[Darksky]

Not sure what I am. Certainly not a morning lark, I like to lie in if I can, which I can't because of work and it takes me a good hour to feel half human. Not a night owl either, I like to settle down in the evening, wind down and be in bed by 11. I just think I'm one of those people who just really love sleep and bed.

A 7 day weekend does sound good though instead of a 7 day working week which is what we are currently doing. The joys of self employment

[Carnation]

Darksky, me too! The Hatton Garden series was brilliant! Perfectly gelled together by the brilliant Timothy Spall.
Hope kitty is doing well. They are a worry to us, aren't they?
I can sympathise and relate to you both. Those 7 day working weeks and 18 hour days were my life for ten years! Holidays? What were they? We tried it once during the onset of our business, didn't do it again. Stand ins managed to lose us a shed load of money. :(
I'm definitely a night bird and I've been lucky in most of my work life to have a late start. Except for commuting in to London on the tube, which I don't miss.
People that know me have learnt not to communicate with me until after 10am. I have to have two cuppas, breakfast and at least an hour to feel the slightest bit normal.
I do far more lounging now, but I also do a lot of other things that I never had time for. The 'lounging' is good thinking time and I use that time to create lists to relieve my brain of overload.
I also must have either a radio or TV on in every room. It drives Mr C mad, but more me when he turns them off. it's a comfort and distraction for me and I hate the deadly sound of complete silence.
The last few days I've had my visible dark circles under my eyes. I've had more sleep than normal, more sun and doing less jobs.
But I do have a bad bout of hay fever, which makes me feel totally washed out!
It only takes someone to comment on how tired I look and my health anxiety is set off. :(
So, I'll leave my post in marking the resignation of our Lady prime minister, which was basically on the cards anyway.
And being careful not to turn this thread in to a political one, I'll leave it at that.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Yup, when I was working, my health anxiety would either be quelled or spiked depending on the commentary I would receive by my co-workers. "Wow, you look great today!" would make me feel good all day. "You OK? You look tired or upset." would send me into a downward spiral. Now that I'm not going to the office anymore I'm not having that issue so I'm able to determine for myself how I feel that day.

The health anxiety issue that is really bothering me for the past few weeks is my vision. As most of us would agree, our eyes are probably our most precious commodity. I was wearing glasses at age 6 and each year the prescription got stronger and stronger. I had PRK surgery about 25 years ago and it was a God send. As I aged, I started reaching for cheater reading glasses which I thought was working fine. But about a year ago I noticed that often it felt like my eyes were not focusing together, or not working together, or something was just off and it would make me dizzy. I also realized that I was often subconsciously closing my right eye and only using the left to avoid that feeling that they weren't working together. I made an appointment with an eye doctor, did all kinds of tests, and apparently there is nothing serious going on. He determined this was probably caused by the fact that the astigmatism in one eye and the reading glass prescription in one eye was very different from the other eye. That means the "cheaters" were not doing me any good and were actually making things worse. He instructed me to NEVER wear cheaters again, and instead either wear my contacts all day, every day, or to get some good, progressive glasses and wear them ALL DAY. I've been trying to do that, usually switching between glasses and contacts depending on what the day held in store. It did seem to help a bit but yesterday afternoon while driving and walking around a garden center the eyes not working together was so bad I had to pull over. I took both contacts out and went home.

It seems this "not working together" issue that leads to dizziness happens the most when I am outdoors (hiking with the dogs, working in the yard, etc.) I can't figure out why that would be and I can't find much info about any of this online. Dr. Google is failing me.

ANYWAY, that is my health anxiety focus these days. I am discouraged and scared because my vision is everything to me (as I'm sure it is to everyone) and it's the one thing I've always been so thankful for and worried about at the same time.

Here's to all of us having a wonderful weekend, whatever we decide to do with it!
Sue