Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

I was going to post last night, but I had that tight band around my head feeling squeezing my poor exhausted brain.

I had a varied day yesterday with anxiety. I wanted to go out and further than my normal 1 mile radius. So Mr C drove to a village where they have a big antiques centre. Even the drive there was making me nervous.
I told Mr C to be prepared for me exiting in a hurry or not wanting to stay long.
An hour later and pleased as punch, I left the place calm and feeling normal and managed to browse and walk around if anxiety didn't exist.
And on that wave of confidence we stopped off at one of those small Tesco shops to get something I needed and went in on my own to get it.
Whoa, straight away, tunnel vision, wobbly legs and wanting to leave as soon as I was over the threshold.
So I stopped dead, pretended to look at something in the entrance and attempted towards the item I needed.
It felt like something was pulling me back like I was on reins. I couldn't even see my feet for the blurry vision.
Managed to grab the item which I could see as clear as day and stomped with my wobbly legs to the cash out. But that time I could feel the subsidence and managed eye contact with the cashier and by the time I got outside, I was absolutely fine.
Got in the car, told Mr C of my not so pleasant experience and went home.
So, for 3 hours I was perfectly ok and 3 minutes I was in hell. And I take that as encouraging and progression. Why?
Because two weeks ago, I couldn't even get out of the car for fear. So I'm happy to take that as a successful and encouraging day.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Well done you for putting a positive spin on it and not letting that experience ruin your day.

It is likely that maybe the atmosphere at the antiques centre was new and/or calmer and more positive. Whereas Tesco is usually a stressed place full of noise and all sorts of things that affect the senses. But as you say it is progress. It’s only adrenaline- and it can’t harm you.

Are you being kind to yourself today?

What do you have planned for today?

Xx

[Carnation]

Hi Mrs M

Yes, I agree. Two completely different places. One calm, not many people, lots of things to look at and distractions, no one stopping me to chat, even a little dark inside.
Where as the other, bright lights, lots of people, noisy, and that shiny slippy floor covering.
I also don't normally go in to shops on my own, very rarely, so maybe I pushed myself too far with that one.

I also forgot to mention I had extremely achy legs last night and I'm assuming it's the adrenalin. They were fine this morning, a bit sore, but I know it will wear off.

You are right Mrs M, adrenalin cannot harm you, it's just uncomfortable and it does wear off. Like panic. It peaks and subsides.
I don't even think my headache was anything to do with anxiety as I am suffering with my sinuses, but I like to blame everything on anxiety.

Mrs M, I'm always kind to myself, it's everyone else!
Most of my stress and worries come from other people, including Mr C.
And today is a relaxing chill out day for me, might pop in the garden for some fresh air, but Sunday is still a day of rest to me.
I hope you have a nice chill out day too Mrs M. x

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Aw I am really proud of you not running out and staying in the shop. Well done you!

The achy legs could be adrenaline- but it could also be tensing when you were walking around in Tesco- it just because you have done more walking than usual?

Glad to hear you are nice to yourself but who is not being nice to you? That makes me sad to hear that? Who could not be nice to you??

Xxxx

[Carnation]

Oh that's just a general thing Mrs M. You know, grumpy people, even some people fighting their own demons can take it out on others.x

[DustingMyselfOff]

Yes, you had several steps forward yesterday and only one baby step back..... that is DEFINITELY progress and success! And I love that you are looking at it that way, rather than dwelling on the 3-minute bad spell. That's something I need to learn to do more of.... I can have a really great couple of days, and then when I get a wave of anxiety or panic, I focus on that and escalate it and turn it into a mountain, rather than letting it pass and leaving it in the past. Thanks for the reminder to accept that this is something that will probably always plague us to some extent and that focusing on the goods and trying to shrug off the bads is the key to total recovery. I was lying in bed today, not sleeping but not wanting to get up, either, and I was noticing some signs of anxiety. I started to try to analyze why and of course that escalates it, so I got up and started going about my day instead. And I will try NOT to think back on the anxiety that was there because that only gives it more power. "You can't scare me, anxiety, show me what you've got and I'll show you how well I can deal with it!" Ugh, even just typing that and taunting the anxiety scared me!
Sue

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Oh that's just a general thing Mrs M. You know, grumpy people, even some people fighting their own demons can take it out on others.x

Aw but that’s doesn’t means they should be nasty to you ☹️

[Carnation]

Hi Sue

So pleased you have time to check in with your busy work schedule.
So right not to give anxiety symptoms the time of day. Once you do it's inviting the dragon in.
I was thinking of getting myself a bat to swipe the blighters, but I'd be hitting myself.

I had a relaxing day but achieved alot of jobs, if that makes any sense.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Glad to hear you have got lots of jobs done but relaxed at the same time?

Did you watch any tv? Read? Etc? X

[Carnation]

Hi Mrs M
Yes, I watched a film. 'Rocket Man', Elton John.
Did a bit of weeding in the garden. Tidied house while listening to my affirmations.
I do read, but didn't get round to any yesterday, too many distractions from Mr C. x