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Thread: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

  1. #2231
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    May 2014
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    So popped out yesterday. Mr C had a haircut appointment, which for some reason made me anxious sitting waiting for him. You know that feeling of fidgeting in the seat, not knowing whether to chat, look at the magazines or scroll your phone? So I ended up doing all three.
    I browsed the local mags for interesting classes and only came up with language courses in either Italian, French or Spanish and as I have no intentions of making use of any of these languages, they didn't appeal to me.
    I want something where I'm doing, preferably making or doing something useful.
    I already have hobbies at home, so it's quite tricky to find or do something more than that. It's going to be a difficult one, I think.
    Today is gorgeous with a capital G.
    Only trouble is I overslept due to waking in the middle of night worrying about the future again.
    Living in the present is so difficult when you have a brain that keeps reminding you of the 'what Ifs'.
    I've always been like this and wonder if my past days of consuming alcohol was masking my anxiety.
    I rarely have a drink now so my brain is sort of naked. Especially as I don't take meds.
    I feel the situation for what it is... Pain, symptoms and thoughts. It's like having a brain like Dr Who's tardis.
    But with the help of much reading self-help books, I'm learning to release, discuss and deal with those thoughts.
    1. Talk about it.
    2. Write everything down.
    3. Deal with stuff you can do something about.
    4. Have faith and hope in for the future.
    What else can you do?
    I'm off out to catch some of that sun.

  2. #2232
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    May 2017
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    764

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I can relate to the sitting waiting thing. For me it's kind of feeling trapped. Not physically because the door is not locked but sort of situationally trapped. I get it in doctors, dentists any sort of waiting room where I feel compelled to stay.

    it is indeed a lovely day. Worth the minus temperatures of first thing. I saw a group of primroses on the bank yesterday. It's wayyy too early for them and some of my late daffs are on 6 inch stems. This morning all the birds were singing like spring. I'm not complaining but I can't help but think we are going to pay for this odd winter. The beast from the east #3 might arrive by March but better we have it late when it will be short lived, than have it now with months left of winter to prolong it.
    I am making coasters atm. Using decoupage to decorate them. Probably will end up as next years Christmas presents. How's that for efficiency.
    __________________
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    Livin' On A Prayer...Bon Jovi

  3. #2233
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Yes Darksky. Waiting rooms as such are one of the worst for me. I'd much rather be digging over a garden.
    Talking of that, like you say, I couldn't believe my eyes when I noticed the daff bulbs coming through. The plants must get so confused. One week it's 12c at night, then the following week, 2c.
    I've made a start on my plans for growing produce this year and got my seedling trays and prepared the area. I missed this last year with the move.
    Just simple things like tomatoes, beans, lettuce, celery, herbs. Spring is not far away. Hopefully my watery eyes will have cleared up by then otherwise I'll be watering my seeds with drops from my eyes.
    Your hobby sounds cool Darksky.

  4. #2234
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I grew some tomatoes last year in one of those tomato bags. Despite feeding, watering and being in sun, they never ripened. I think we got a couple red ones. The rest stayed green...to the point I was googling green tomato chutney.

    have you any idea what I did wrong?
    __________________
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    Livin' On A Prayer...Bon Jovi

  5. #2235
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I'm not a fan of grow bags. And I prefer growing tomatoes inside because of the blight risk and insect fest. The nights can be so up and down with the temperature, which is not good for toms. A window ledge is perfect. My best crop was grown in a shed.

  6. #2236
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I had a terrible night's sleep last night. Completely wide awake and it took nearly 3 hours to get to sleep.
    Oh my, the stuff that was going through my head, from ageing to illnesses, thinking about what to make for dinner, and whether I would be up and ready in time for the boiler man coming in the morning. Could I cope with someone being in my kitchen and how long was he going to be around. Well he was 20 minutes early and was here for an hour and an half. I was just about ready and I coped very well. I wish I could say I was the same when I popped out. A combination of jelly legs, blurry watery eyes and head that feels like it's about to fall off any minute and roll down the ground.
    I have a real hard time with shops. Or basically anything inside that isn't my home.
    I was only saying to Mr C last night, "how come I moved us, set up a home, but I can't seem to go in a shop and buy a bag of sugar?" it doesn't make sense.
    But I keep going and feeling the fear.
    And what the hell am I frightened of all of the time? The feeling, the thoughts of danger that's not even there.
    So, continuing my book reading of many tips of recovery, I am quite interested in the desensitising, which seems to be my state most of the time.
    It's all about feeling the fear and suggestions of gradual exposure and repetitive actions seem to be the best way forward. I've been doing this for some time now and with some good results. But I have noticed a one step forward, two steps back and occasionally three steps forward on a good day. I think it's about finding a balance where the fear is not heavily exposed putting you back in more a over-sensitised state. So that it doesn't becomes a vicious circle. Baby steps work best for me. Because it's so exhausting!
    But for now, my challenge today was having a total stranger in my kitchen, having a conversation with him and not running away from him in fear.

  7. #2237
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    It's awful when you can't turn your thoughts off isn't it? Lying there while your heads turning like a washing machine on the spin cycle. I like it when people like that turn up early. It cuts short the anticipatory stuff and it's on you so suddenly that you don't have time to over think.

    i agree, it's best only to put yourself in places that slightly increase your anxiety. Do that for a while and then when comfortable, move on to the next thing, increasing your anxiety slowly again. Onwards slowly with small steps.
    Some people can just go straight to the big stuff, which is fine but I know for me and I suspect you, flooding to the point of panic just reinforces. The tortoise will get to the finishing line as well as the hare....often winning the race
    __________________
    Take my hand, we'll make it I swear....
    Livin' On A Prayer...Bon Jovi

  8. #2238
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I think you are right Darksky, I didn't have time to think and maybe that's why I coped with the situation better.

    I like the idea of the tortoise beating the hare. and I certainly feel like I'm carrying a house on my back. Unfortunately, like the tortoise, if I turn over on my back, I'm unlikely to get up these days without a gentle push or an ungainly manoeuvre.

  9. #2239
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Today the kitchen smelled like a brewery. The demijohn of our homemade wine was decanted into bottles. I had a sip
    its a bit bitter but very strong. It left a nice warm spot in the middle of my chest
    Much warmer today but back to dank miserable weather. Still, I bought a bunch of daffs the other day and they are coming out nicely on the kitchen window sill. Spring is on the way. Also Easter apparently, because Sainsbury's have hot cross buns in

    Yesterday was boring, doing odds and sods round the house. Today I have to get out before cabin fever sets in. Hope everyone is doing ok with whatever they are up to.
    __________________
    Take my hand, we'll make it I swear....
    Livin' On A Prayer...Bon Jovi

  10. #2240
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Darksky, my mum used to make wine and my dad beer, so there was a demi John behind every chair and sofa and I was always fascinated with the plop bubble at the top of the jar. One glass of raisin or parsnip wine would have you on the floor.

    I think people are get sick of premature stock in shops, it really takes the pleasure out of shopping.

    I'm trying my best to desensitise myself again.
    Wobbly legs, swooshing head and feet that feel like bricks is not a good look.

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