Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

Yes, I’ve been doing that Pulisa. Think that’s why it’s healing well.

fishman, it took my mind off of my anxiety symptoms for a view days.
I was on a mission to avoid the dentist if possible.

[Carnation]

My itchy white pimple like bumps / rash have returned again. I don't scratch them but they are still very itchy and eventually turn red and become more of a rash and can feel hot. I'm trying all sorts, antiseptic cream, cold compress, exfoliating the area, calamine lotion and today I'd thought I'd give Cyder Vinegar ago which may have been a mistake because it burned like hell.
I'm wondering if this is a stress reaction because I've never suffered from this before. My diet hasn't changed, maybe more cakes than usual, well a girl's gotta have some pleasure. I thought it was originally the sun but I've not been in the sun for days, then I thought it was caused by a change of soap, but reverted back to my usual soap. So I can only come to the conclusion that it is some form of a nervous rash. Maybe blocked sweat pores or a skin reaction from hot flushes. If only I knew the cause I could deal with it. Apart from that I'm doing ok and someone yesterday said I looked well, which always cheers me up. Although they couldn't see my rashes lol.

[Carnation]

Well I think I've found the culprit to my itchy rash.
I bought a denim jacket and wearing it quite a bit over the last few weeks. Yesterday I found myself scratching around my neck not really aware at first I was doing it. When I became conscious of the fact I looked down at the area and realised the jacket had metal studs on the back of the buttons and at the exact point of my itch. I'm actually allergic to metal. Can't wear a watch with a metal strap, jewellery and studs on clothes like jeans. I get raised bumps that itch, go red and form a rash almost immediately. Problem hopefully solved.
Apart from that I'm really enjoying the weather at the moment, working hard in the garden, going out without the high UVs and sleeping with a cooler night.
I'm doing ok, the occasional wobble and 'oh my God' thought but I'm very conscious of what I say these days and correct myself immediately if I start babbling on about negativity. Most importantly I'm doing what I want these days and it's probably the first time in my life I've done this. I spent most of my life being a people pleaser, going along with what others wanted or being caped in responsibilities too heavy to carry. The one thing I've noticed is my dreaming during sleep and not just one dream, several, which can be exhausting. I'm ok with it because I know now that my brain is processing all that stuff I've been carrying around causing an imaginary hunchback and heavy boots. It's a long way to the top when the ground has been swallowing you up over the years, but I feel I'm actually walking a bit taller and can turn around quickly without feeling wobbly. I can see me in the mirror now, not a drudge. And for the first time in such a long time I can have a bath without feeling like I'm moving with the water from super sensory. I can walk into a shop and actually browse without feeling like I've walked into a lion's den.
It's taken a lot of persevering, a lot of pain, a lot of time and understanding and I'm still a work in progress, but I'm in a much better position than I have been. So keep going and don't give up, keep strong but with lots of tlc and faith.

[glassgirlw]

Oh I can for sure sympathize with the metal allergy. I also have one. It’s so annoying, I have to be really careful even with the button on jeans! Really frustrating. I’m glad you’ve figured out the cause!!

[Catkins]

That's a relief. I had that once from Jean's I was wearing. It was the back of the button

So glad you're doing well, I love reading your posts.

[Carnation]

Thank you glassgirlw, catkins.
That allergy is a very common one so God knows why manufacturers still do it. I've covered all the studs now so hopefully will be ok. It amazes how one little stud can cause such a large area of reaction but I suppose it moves about as we move about.
Last night during sleeping I got woken by a burning sensation in my throat and realised the supposedly plain sausages I bought from the butchers were actually not plain at all but full of spice and set off my acid reflux.
They just can't help themselves with the spice rack, which might be ok for taste but not for my tummy.
When purchasing said item I said, "can I have a 1/2 dozen plain sausages?" Big grin from butcher while wrapping up which I should have taken as an indication that they were not plain at all.
So it's a prawn salad with a jacket potato for me tonight.

[Catkins]

That is such a pain, why sell you 'plain' sausages that aren't plain?

Someone I work with went on a sausage making course. I think it's a bit of a faff.

[Carnation]

I do too catkins.

[Carnation]

So now I'm going through a belching phase. I hate this. Not only does it sound disgusting, I can't control when it happens. It started after the spicy sausage acid reflux reaction. I hope it settles.

[Carnation]

I'm going to tell you my story about a bin.
Yes, that's correct, a bin.
I recently purchased a new bin for the kitchen and it won't fit inside my normal cleaning cupboard so it now sits on the other side of the kitchen against the only spare wall.
Bare with me, there's a point to this story.
Anyway, this means I now have to remember not to throw my potato peelings and various other rubbish items under the sink cupboard because there ain't any bin there.
You'd think after a few days or sooner I would remember by now where the new bin is.
No. Countless times I put things in the bin from breakfast to dinner time and still I'm going to the sink cupboard, mutter a few words to the tune of "for gods sake the bin ain't there anymore" and turn to the position where the bin actually is and tell brain off for not remembering.
I've estimated to date that it must be at least a dozen times a day over 3 days = 36 times.
Now I realise how difficult it is to break a habit, especially a subconscious habit and that applies also to the habits that we have adopted through fear.
So anyone struggling with changing mindset, you have to keep going, don't expect a change immediately or within 3 days. It takes a long time to to break habits, with or without anxiety but eventually you will remember that the shop you enter isn't going to kill you, neither is going for a walk or stepping outside your house.
Each time you attempt something you think is scary, it's another chip away from the fear until the fear is no longer there.