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Thread: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

  1. #1381
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Yes but your beach hut comes with Derek in his summer thong. Mrs.C may need her eyes bleached

    great to hear from you Buster, me old mate.
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    It’s a cruel beast that you feed…..

    Ghost…Spillways

  2. #1382
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Buster!!!!! You've surfaced.
    Darksky is right. I think Derek would be a touch disturbing, but it might keep those uncontrollable minors away.

    Yesterday I got to the point of finding Mr C irritating. He's at the hobbling stage but with the added, "can you just come and do this as I can't quite......" about 50 times!
    I remember when I struggled with my broken foot and damaged hand tendon actually both at the same time and just had to find ways of coping.
    I'm wondering if a lot of it is done for attention.
    I'm a bit annoyed because this wouldn't have happened if he drank the cranberry juice and ate the cherries I buy him every week instead of throwing them away.
    But I still fetch and carry while rolling my eyes and at the same time think, "wasn't it me struggling just a short while ago with panic every time I entered a shop".
    I felt bad because I snapped at him last night because I was trying to read and must have read the same page half a dozen times. Then I found myself apologising for feeling so mean. So, yes Sue, I do understand.
    Yesterday I managed to grab a few 'me' moments and one of them was watching the many butterflies that seemed to have appeared in their masses. I like to think they are dancing in the air. Yes, all sounds very soppy and childlike, but if it gives me pleasure, I don't care. I could honestly be in the garden all day, weather permitting.
    There's so much wildlife to watch and plants that need a gentle touch of a human hand.
    It's where I feel my calmest, my most energised and satisfied.
    Nature to me is just amazing. The way a flower closes at night and reopens to the sunlight the next day. The way an ant will carry something something which completely overhangs their body and birds that dive bomb the soil for worms after you've turned it over. The scent of the flowers and their stunning colours and designs. And I'm actually coping with the flying attackers much better of late. I've learnt not to flap or run away and I think that's the answer.
    Although next week I probably won't be in the garden much due to a heatwave, but that's nature too and I'll just have to flow with it. I'll probably moan like crazy, but why change a habit of a lifetime.

  3. #1383
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Mr.C throws away cherries!! That's just about treasonable. I love cherries but they are always a tad expensive in the quantities I like to eat them in.

    not looking forward to this heatwave either, I hope it's not going to last long. I shall join you in a communal moan.
    __________________
    It’s a cruel beast that you feed…..

    Ghost…Spillways

  4. #1384
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Exactly Darksky

  5. #1385
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Ahhhh yes, the joys of spouses: can't live with them, can't live without them. You are much more kind and tolerant than I am.... I snap a lot, (although now that I'm aware of it I do it a lot less often) and just the other night I snapped because I was trying to read and he kept calling me for seemingly trivial things that he should have been able to solve himself.

    And the joys of nature, that's me. Give me a jar of bugs or any type of critter and I can stare at it for hours to find new things that amaze me. I was impressed when we came home last night that my husband saw a huge ant carrying something and instead of stepping on it like lots of people do, he side-stepped it, and then waved it along to a safer space before we continued our path. He shrugged and said "that's the result of living with you for over 20 years."

    NO THROWING AWAY CHERRIES! I even eat the ones that look questionable because I refuse to waste one! And heat wave? We've been in the middle of one that is worse than we've seen in a long time, and it's making people ill and the community is opening cooling centers all over town for those who don't have access to AC. What really worries me is if there are poor pets outside during this, and when I see someone walking with groceries I am so tempted to pull over and offer them a ride. But my husband keeps warning me of the dangers of this world and how badly I would be putting myself in danger picking up strangers, so I try to resist.

    So I may have made a discovery yesterday about my anxiety. For the past 6 days I have had one errand/mission to do every day, all of which required me to be out of the house. I have had a very good 6 days! Yesterday, I did not have one specific thing that I needed to get done and considering the horrible heat wave, I decided to stay in all day. And my time on the couch with the laptop and TV became longer, and I got unmotivated to do anything around the house. And I felt some physical symptoms of anxiety appearing, and then I got very antsy and anxious. Even though it was 6:00 p.m., I told my husband that I wanted to go to the beach and then have some dinner on the shore. We drove the 45 minutes to get there, walked along the sand and waded up to our knees for a while, marveled at the critters and wildlife, and then ate a delightful seafood dinner. We drove home but as we were getting close I suggested we treat ourselves to an ice cream from a stand that has been legendary in my town for over 60 years (but will be closing at the end of the season). We sat on the bumper of our car and ate our ice cream, then headed home. A long shower, a few pet chores, and then I hit the couch feeling relaxed and content.

    So I think I need to have something each day that requires me to get up and out of the house, otherwise I will fall into a funk, laziness, and feeling the anxiety. My real challenge will be making sure not all of those outings include spending money, so I'm very glad I signed up for the gym last week. That can be one of my goals and it's already paid for.

    Good luck to all of us in mastering this heat wave.
    Sue

  6. #1386
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Trouble is, in the U.K. because traditionally we don't have mega heatwaves, our houses are not equipped with air con. All we have are fans last year was awful, week after week of blistering heat, no sleep and humidity.

    us Brits are not made for high temperatures that's for sure.

    see I'm moaning about it already
    __________________
    It’s a cruel beast that you feed…..

    Ghost…Spillways

  7. #1387
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Nothing in the UK is equipped for heat. Most shops still don't have air-conditioning and many cafes and restaurants. Some work places have shelled out the dosh for it, but only so they can get the most out of their workers. Supermarkets have because of the produce.
    As for the average home, its a fan circulating hot air.
    And Mr C still hasn't had the air-con fixed in the car.
    So it's ice-cream, wet wipes and feet in a bucket of cool water for us.

    Sue, that sounds lovely, your trip to the beach and sometimes on the spur of the moment makes it more enjoyable.
    I get like that when I stay in. Think it's called going stir crazy and I've been like that this weekend and once I'm out the anxiety has been built up so much I'm like a clockwork toy.
    And I won't go out in the heat so this week I will be climbing walls. Maybe I'll make some blackout curtains for the windows to keep the heat out.
    Mr C is improving. Must be my Florence Nightingale approach.

  8. #1388
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    OMG - no air conditioning! I will not complain about the heat again, at least on this forum! I don't think I would survive without it. Truly. Not only do we have central units but we have "back up" window AC's just in case the other ones won't run for some reason. And if we lose electricity, we have a huge generator so that we can still run lights, TV and air conditioning. And if we didn't, I would be checking into a hotel because I know I wouldn't survive 24 hours in this heat. My hat is off to all of you suffering with this.... I can't even imagine. Geez, when I go upstairs where the temperature is a bit warmer because I only cool the floor we're on during the day, I feel like I' going to faint. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, and perhaps this week you SHOULD plan some trips to some grocery stores just to stand near the freezer sections!

    Glad Mr. C is improving - you missed your calling as a nurse.
    Sue

  9. #1389
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I agree with trips to the supermarket for the air-con! Or even the cinema for fun and coolness.

  10. #1390
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I'd forgotten about the cinema Scass and of course there is the church for coolness too. And if you are lucky enough to have a cellar, you could hide away in there.

    This country unfortunately fails on air-conditioning, space, privacy, highly priced petrol, highly priced property, low pay and decision making in Parliament. But before I get too political and start ranting again I'll put that to bed.

    I had a terrible night's sleep. Got off about 3.30am and must have turned my pillow over a dozen times.
    I also woke up feeling miserable and negative. Not a good start.
    It's hot and humid which makes me feel agitated and not wanting to go out, buy I don't think it's that alone that has left me feeling down.
    It maybe the anxiety, the lack of sleep, other half being poorly or the realisation that I may have to live with anxiety for the rest of my life.
    I've always been a fighter, even before I was born. Apparently my mum was in danger of losing me, so is it possible I may have changed my mind about coming in to the big wide world before I even got there?
    I look back on my life so far and realise what a struggle it has been and continue to search and try to make it as pleasurable as possible.
    I think we all search for happiness, a purpose, a dream.
    We all chase time and fight mortality.
    Heavy chat, I know, but if you can't express your inner emotions, then it's pointless.
    We chat to others about the weather, our day to day lives, but rarely do we open up and really say how we feel and release the true emotions.
    I've been a bottler of my emotions too long in the past and I make a point now of saying it like it is.
    Just the other day, someone I know seemed very off and it was eating away at me and I was beginning to blame myself for all sorts of things.
    In the end I thought, "this is silly, the thoughts won't go away, so I'll deal with it, no matter what the circumstances". So, I contacted this person and asked them if anything was wrong. They came back and replied, "Of course not, life is too short". It didn't really give me a true answer, but...
    1. I got it off my chest
    2. They now knew I was aware of their reaction to me
    3. They probably wouldn't be upfront with their true feelings anyway, now leaving them with the squirming and worrying.
    I'd actually offloaded my worrying back to the person who started it the first place.
    I felt better for it and even if they had replied, "I don't like you or you upset me", I could deal with that better than not knowing what the problem is.
    It's the unknown and being out of control that fuels the anxiety and that's why people like us make great teachers, managers, running a company or a pub or restaurant. A shop or a stage production. A Fete or a club. A carer or even a household.
    If we're in charge, it makes life at lot easier for us, but something out of our control is basically a nightmare.
    Like the weather, traffic, appointments and meetings, invitations, an unexpected visitor, queues, eating out, public transport, the news, an unexpected letter or phone call and not forgetting, the future!
    Does any of that make sense?

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