Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Darksky]

Never a truer word. Mr.D is generally calm until a crisis hits. Then you’d wonder who’d got anxiety, me or him. He gets into a right panic, starts flapping and carrying on until I swear at him. I have an extensive range of expletives collected from 2 sons over the years.

I was inwardly voicing a few this afternoon. I was in the wound healing clinic for an hour and a quarter, with no air con, sitting in one of those plastic chairs that stick to you. I had to keep rinsing my wrists under the toilet tap. Pure flaming torture.

[.Poppy.]

Carnation, I hope you are able to get things sorted. I know here sometimes houses sell from one landlord to another, so maybe that could happen? Or maybe you'll be able to find somewhere else to be that's just as comfortable.

I too struggle with living in the present and not fearing the future. It's probably an anxiety thing, maybe somewhat normal, but while usually anxiety accompanies those thoughts sadness does as well. It makes me think of the Winnie the Pooh saying that goes like "how wonderful it is to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard". It's really difficult to imagine life in 2, 5, 10, 20 years and thinking of all that will change and what those changes may look like, and especially so when you have so much currently to love and be thankful for. It partially makes me incredibly sad, but also fills me with a lot of nervous energy and a need to control things, which of course leads to just more anxiety and sadness when I realize I can't control everything and I can't always determine what I can fix or what I can't.

So anyway, that's a novel but I completely empathize with you and hope you get some good news regarding the situation.

It's funny that you mention it Pulisa, because for all of my anxiety and whatnot, I am actually also pretty good in a crisis. I remember being on a camping trip when our tent was destroyed by lightening (while we were inside!) and being the only member of our little group with a clear enough head to salvage our items and get us to safety. Another time I was abroad in London with a friend when our accommodations fell through; my friend was in tears but I was able to get us alternate lodging and salvaged the rest of the trip. So I guess I can't count myself out completely, and you shouldn't count yourself out either. It's just when we see the problem coming from 20 miles away that we start to fret about what needs to be done and how it will all play out.

[Carnation]

Thank you poppy for your thoughtful words x
We do have something called tenant in situ for selling a property. I don't feel I can suggest this to my landlord though. Although we can say how settled we are.
Ultimately I have to secure a home for us and my fur baby.
Landfords are generally anti pets in the UK.
I've managed to stay a bit calmer this afternoon. And I'm not packing just yet. Too hot anyway.

[Catkins]

Am I good in a crisis? Sometimes, sometimes not. When my son was four he fell of his bike when we were out and broke his arm (it was obvious), I scooped him up, ran home with him in my arms, got him to the hospital (still with the helmet on). Another time, I closed the grill without turning it off, it caught fire and even though I was the fire warden at work and had umpteen training courses under my belt I completely panicked and all I could do was shout for help. I guess with me it's pot luck.

I have a feeling if I was in your position Carnation, I would be so worried about it, I would have already started looking and set a date for the move in my head. I'm not great with the unknown. I also suspect I would be mentally distancing myself from my house and trying to lose any emotional attachment to it.

Keep meditating, keep doing the things that make yourself feel safe and give it time to settle in your head. You can get through this. Try not to beat yourself up about your mum (I know I'm a fine one to talk), from this last week I really know our old ghosts and insecurities rear their ugly heads when we are feeling anxious or worried about things.

I'll really be sending you lots of positive thoughts.

[.Poppy.]

Landlords have become increasingly anti-pet here as well, and with the CoL crisis and skyrocketing rents a lot of people are having to move, which means the shelters are way over capacity. It's really sad; I wish I could adopt another pet but Chisum would not think to have another dog in the house.

[Carnation]

Rents here have gone up by up to 50% in the last year poppy.
Catkins, how did you know?
I'm already detaching myself emotionally from the house.
When the weather cools down I'll be going through the cupboards turfing out. I'm looking online at properties constantly. And I know next time I go out I'll be picking up boxes.

[Catkins]

What is the council housing/housing association situation like where you are Carnation? Is it worth exploring that possibility? I'm thinking in terms of long term security.

[Carnation]

It's not great catkins but we wouldn't qualify anyway.
Saying that, if we were deemed homeless through no properties being available to rent it may be a situation that becomes an emergency situation but we are not there at present. I'm aware of several long standing residents that had to move a long way out of the area to find something but even that is thin on the ground, probably due to the time of year. I also don't want to be somewhere unfamiliar or don't no anyone. If one of us was on our own in the future we could become very isolated.
You wouldn't believe how many properties are sitting empty as second homes
just used as an occasional jaunt for ones pleasure. Mr C has become more bitter about the situation now its sunk in. I can only deal with the heat at the moment. Although I would know better where we stand if I had some sort of date to work with. I'm trying to stay practical and it's me that deals with all the paperwork and organisation of everything.
Like you fishman, all our rentals have been private. I'm wondering if this is as secure compared with a managed property through an estate agent.

[Catkins]

It's the same up here with holiday homes. In fact probably because of the pandemic there has been a rise in demand. I have a colleague who wants to buy a 3 bed family home and the prices are stupid and they're like gold dust at the moment. She might have to pull out of the sale of the one she's in now. Rentals are a nightmare too up here.

[Carnation]

I managed to drag myself away from the sofa and TV and drove down to the beach. Its great exercise walking on sand. Now got to find something I barely have to cook for dinner.
No matter what's going on in your life finding time for peaceful things is a must.

How is your daughter feeling now pulisa?