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Thread: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

  1. #1361
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I think I've always had a fear of being on my own, deserted, abandoned, however you want to label it. It stems from when I was a child and was alone through some very difficult phases in my life and just thinking about them brings me out in a hot flush. Since having anxiety, the 'alone' thing brings on a full panic attack.
    Although I know that deep within me I am quite independent and capable, but let's face it, no one actually wants to be on their own.
    I've lost my parents, have no sisters or brothers, sons or daughters or a best friend. It's not a sob story, but if I ever needed anyone for anything, I don't have that, all I have is Mr C and I'm very grateful for that.
    So maybe along the way fear has been growing and left me with this phobia. I've had 3 years of therapy and still none the wiser or better. In fact I've got worse.
    And for the time being I'm not going to push myself on this as I know I'm going through a blip and need to calm my nervous system.
    Like you say Sue, I don't want to continually poke away until I'm good for absolutely nothing. Anyway, I deserve a break.

  2. #1362
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    When I first went on Prozac many, many years ago, I had the worst 8 weeks of side effects imaginable. Thank God my doctor kept urging me to hang in there because on the day after week 8, I felt like a new person. I do understand the fear of meds, it took me two days to get up the courage of taking the antibiotic I was recently prescribed.

    I have often wondered if my husband, in his attempt to help me and support me, has hindered my independence, especially in the way of driving on highways. Once I started having panic attacks on the highway he insisted on just driving me everywhere I had to be. I took advantage of that for the first few years but ten decided I wanted to conquer this. On the trips when I am able to do it by myself, the feeling of independence and success is overwhelmingly wonderful.
    Sue

  3. #1363
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    That's exactly how my panic attacks started. On the motorway, alone, very scared and thought I was going to die!
    Like you, Mr C took over the driving completely, but when I did try to drive, the panic and feelings would return.
    It became too much for me and I just gave up.
    But I do sometimes drive a little way in to town even though my memory triggers the fear. I just think, "what's the point of punishing yourself". But strange in an emergency situation, I'll do it without thinking about it, because it's survival.

  4. #1364
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I've come to the conclusion that I am exhausted.
    Mr C has now told me that he doesn't feel any energy at all, falls asleep at every opportunity and maybe the last few months have just taken its toll.
    We did not have an easy move. It took months to find somewhere and when we did it needed decorating. We had to source every bit of furniture and appliance as we didn't have any of our own and because of that, we did the move ourselves with our personal belongings which took many more trips than we envisaged. And in between that we cleared his mum's house and still dealing with the remnants 6 weeks later.
    All my relaxing time went out of the window and was replaced with stress.
    No wonder I'm feeling jaded and my nerves have obviously been pushed to their maximum.
    That's why I might be ok in the morning and good for nothing in the afternoon. Or can only manage one shop and feel like my body just wants to flop and do nothing.
    It's not that long ago when we were packing, cleaning, decluttering, lifting and transporting, running here there and everywhere for weeks on end. Making dozens of calls to utilities and holding on for what seemed like eternity.
    And that's without all the other life problems.
    My sleep has been disturbed with over two weeks of banging and drilling nextdoor with our place literally vibrating at times.
    I just need rest and recuperation.
    Sue, you mentioned a while back I might have a crash whether it be days/weeks. It certainly feels like it now.

  5. #1365
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Yes, this may very well be the well-earned crash.... you're certainly entitled to one. But you're not allowing yourself to give into it yet. You are still challenging yourself almost daily with the trips to the shops which exhausts you, not only by the actual experience, but also with the anticipation that there is another trip coming soon. Your anxiety and exhaustion is still being poked and prodded daily and you have not had a chance to truly relax in a very long time.

    Since Mr. C also admitted he's tired, how about you both do one last shopping trip, get enough supplies to hold you over for 7 days, and make a pact that you will NOT go to the shops for a full 7 days. Go nowhere for 7 days if that's possible. Sleep all day and night if you feel like it, listen to what your body needs. I'd be curious to see if you feel a deep sense of relief in knowing that you have "7 days off" from going to the shops. Like me, you are trying to force yourself to do things that you think make you appear "normal". If it's not pleasant for you, then it's not normal to keep forcing yourself to do it.

    Yes, I'm talking to myself in this post as much as I'm talking to you, but I really think giving yourself a vacation from "shops" for a week might be very eye-opening.
    Sue

  6. #1366
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Already done!
    Spent all afternoon at the beach, walked there and back, feeling good and rejuvenated.
    I think everyday was becoming a chore for me. It's like working every day.
    So I now have a good 7 days or more to do what I like.
    Had a long chat with Mr C about everything and feel more positive about things. We are not planning anything, we'll just go with what we feel.
    Thanks Sue and everyone else for your support and advice.
    I realise now I need more balance, rest and freedom. xx

  7. #1367
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Hurray! Welcome to your vacation!
    Sue

  8. #1368
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Are you taking a vacation from us, too? Hoping to hear how you're feeling, and hoping your anxiety is down and your energy is up.
    Sue

  9. #1369
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I haven't officially started my stay cation yet, unfortunately life has thrown a few things at us to deal with.
    But I wasn't too bad yesterday, not brilliant, but probably due to the things.
    So we've as from the weekend, we will be on our hols.
    And if we like it, we might stretch it to two weeks.
    I've toyed with the idea of hiring a beach hut too.
    I'm enjoying ordering things online. Only thing is I've realised it can become a bit addictive.
    I'm still not out of the woods with my blip, although I'm a good 50% better. I think I've just been pushing and pushing myself too much. When I feel I've failed, I push more and sometimes you just got to say, "No, I'm taking a break".

  10. #1370
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Oh hell yes, online shopping is VERY addictive! And the home shopping channels on TV? I can't watch those because they convince me I absolutely MUST HAVE every item they're selling!

    Sorry about issues coming up, but I'm sure you'll handle them like a pro. Glad you're taking a much-needed break, and thanks for checking in.
    Sue

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