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Thread: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

  1. #2701
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    It would be a miracle if I told you I was feeling better.
    And because I've taken the route of resting up, it's left my mind to obsess even more than usual.
    I'm getting good sleep, even dropping off during the day.
    And every time I wake, my first thought is, "am I better? "
    Depression is well seated, of course it is, that's completely understandable.
    My sponge walking is constant. The carpet feels a good 6 inches deep. It's driving me crazy!
    The fear of falling or fainting is with me constantly.
    And the more I try not to think about it, the more it seems to be there.
    And I'm now obsessing over every little pain or twinge that I feel. And things like.. have I had enough wees today because normally I'm always peeing.
    It's like I'm analysing myself constantly.
    Even if I read other people's threads I think, oh, do I have that?". It's a vicious circle.

  2. #2702
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    So I've just done some chakra chanting.
    You know me I'll try anything.
    And I burst into tears. Like massively!
    I felt a shift and feel a little better.
    Looks like I might be surfing the net for Buddhas. xx

  3. #2703
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    So I managed to drag myself out of my cocoon to do a bit ironing. (I know, people don't iron anymore, but I do)
    My Legs felt the usual weak self, but they also felt a bit strange. And when I stopped, it's like they are throbbing / vibrating, like a sensation running through my veins to the feet.
    So as per Claire Weekes advice, I am accepting and allowing the sensation to be. Although it feels incredible uncomfortable and weird.
    Last edited by Carnation; 19-10-20 at 21:19.

  4. #2704
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Apologies Carnation l never ment to delete the post above hehehe l'm getting good at deleting and l don't even know how 🤣

    l was saying l totally feel for you with the falling feeling and fainting its horrible, l wish we could think lovely positive thoughts all the time but unfortunately we always think the worst, its like when you said you read someone's post you think you have it, l can so relate sometimes l stop reading it as it sets me into panic oh my goodness anxiety has a lot to answer too, l hope you start to feel better l always enjoy meditation and a nice hot shower it helps me,

    l was laughing about the ironing l need get out more ( if l could )🤣
    l really enjoy it hope you feel better soon take care Carnation xx

  5. #2705
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Thanks for your message Mrs S.
    Very kind considerate what you are going through yourself. xx
    Last edited by Carnation; 21-10-20 at 15:01.

  6. #2706
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I'm getting two conflicting pieces advise from my friends.
    One says, "relax and rest up"
    The other says, "you need more exercise and to do more"


    So yesterday I tried the doing more.
    I did an hours session of yoga.
    A good 20 minutes of exercising.
    A gentle walk.
    Half an hour of gardening.
    A trip out to the local shop.
    I kept on the move for a good 6 hours.
    Did I feel any better?
    No difference to be honest, but that would have been more or less my normal routine.

    My thing is at the moment is adrenalin running through me like water and vibrating feet. And acid reflux.
    I still have all the other symptoms in the mix, but I'm trying to put it down to all the things that go with a relapse.
    The good thing is I'm benefiting by more sleep, although the dreaming is way off the scale.
    Sometimes I wake up more exhausted than when I go to sleep.
    Anyway, been reading Claire Weekes for the umpteenth time. And this accepting, that seems to be the answer has always puzzled me.
    Apparently you have to be 100% in acceptance.
    Just ignoring, dismissing, pushing through is not enough.
    If there is as little as 1% doubt your thoughts turn to something being seriously wrong with you, or a fear of a symptom no matter how small, this will keep anxiety in the loop. We obviously have to have anxiety in its natural form. We can't get rid of it completely. But the excessive anxiety that cause us the unpleasant symptoms that make our lives a living hell. A bit strong, but some people would agree with me.
    So in my personal assumption of being 100% in acceptance of anxiety, it would mean you basically don't have a care of how you feel, what could be and a no fear of death. That's pretty hard to do.
    Especially when it's only natural to seek attention from another, even a doctor when you have a pain, lump, or any symptom that can not be identified by yourself.
    But, anxiety can be minimised, controlled and accepted.
    Most of our symptoms are regular and recognisable.
    They are the same symptoms we normally encounter through anxiety. So what we need to do is to not be afraid of those symptoms that normally feed our fear.
    Again, not easy, but very possible to overcome.
    I think for most of us the symptoms and feelings wear us down. It can be so exhausting and debilitating.
    But as Claire Weekes says. If you had a leg or arm wrapped in a bandage, you'd still carry on while the body repairs naturally.
    And it's only fear making us feel this way, no hidden disease.
    So why is it so hard to conquer?
    They say people that suffer with anxiety are the most courageous. I would agree with that.
    But I would also say that we are the type of people that carry great empathy. Sensitive people.
    We can't change our personalities, but we can learn how to deal with situations and feelings.
    How we react, how we deal with something and all those things that are in the past that haunt our minds need to stay in the past. We can't change the past, it's gone!
    So after my very deep post today which I am telling myself as well. I'm going to do my best to live and control my anxiety, because life will always throw stuff at us and sometimes we just need to think, "ok" and get on with it.
    Remember our bodies have a tremendous ability of repairing itself. x
    Last edited by Carnation; 21-10-20 at 16:55.

  7. #2707
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Hi Carnation

    What a fantastic post, you always manage to talk sense, l read this and l really have thought omg its so true, life is always going to be challenging we can't change that but we can change our anxiety,

    its made me think about why l am wasting my life on worrying what if when what if may or may not happen, l get out of bed and l say you're not beating me today and within half an hour I'm full of horrible anxiety,

    So I'm going to try and push forward and get myself out of this black hole I'm going down l haven't hit the bottom yet and I'll be dammed if l do, Carnation thank you, you touched on something today.

    And you do what's best for you doesn't matter how little or much exercise you do remember your doing brilliant, have a good day Carnation take care xxxx

  8. #2708
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Thank you Mrs S

    I need to take my own advice too, lol. x

  9. #2709
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Hi everyone

    There's a couple of things I want to mention today...

    As you all know I have been struggling with constant symptoms and sensations nonstop.
    But the few occasions I've braved to go out, I felt an instant shift and quite calm.
    Then as soon as I return home, back it all comes.
    As soon as I try to relax, the adrenalin is pumping up and down my legs, the bouncy walking returns along with the feeling of "Am I about to fall, lightheaded, swaying feeling?" Heart flutters, hot flushing and so on.
    Last night I almost caved in trying to cook the dinner. It got to the point where I would have resulted in not eating anything at all. It was like my brain was telling me, "too much!" All those pots and pans, heat from the oven, clinking and clanking.
    I'm quite at ease sitting on the sofa peeling vegetables and chopping up stuff, so I might consider making an ongoing Casserole to get me through this period of suffering.
    Now 9 times out of ten, our home is our peace haven, its where we run to when we feel scared.
    So it doesn't make sense to feel better outside.
    The only thing I can think of is... By going out we are rejecting the anxiety symptoms and sensations and anxiety itself.
    We also have more wandering thoughts when we go about our daily routine in our homes, almost in autopilot.
    When we go out we have changing scenery, noises and movement.
    Admittedly, a bit of desensitisation is needed to begin with, but for me I feel better outdoors than in.

    The other thing I wanted to talk about was meditation.
    I know, rolling of the eyes time.
    Yesterday I did guided meditation for the first time.
    It was more like hypnosis in my opinion.
    I've done meditation many times by myself, you know the stuff.. Close your eyes, let thoughts drift by listen to the birds, breath in slowly with a longer breathe out, think of pure white light surrounding your body....
    But never had I tried trusting the voice of another to take me through a healing journey.
    And when I woke from this hypnotic spell of words, I found my eyes filled with tears. I also felt great relief.
    Only thing was it didn't seem to last me the day.
    But it is something I will try again.

    Onwards and upwards, as they say....

  10. #2710
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    hello Carnation

    That is good to hear, I'm the total opposite when I'm out l can't wait to get home its my safe haven, but you're right about wandering thoughts, since reading your posts l have been doing alittle better you make it sink into my silly anxiety head,

    I love nothing more than peace quite and letting myself drift off with my meditation l feel great after as you say doesn't last all day but its beautiful while it does,

    l had some good news had my test results back off my smear all clear this was a big thing for me as l have had problems in the past l was having them yearly this was my first 3 year one so it was playing on my mind so all though I'm still shakey and anxious I'm going to step out with my doggies 🤗

    Carnation you are doing brilliant keep going and thank you for your posts xx take care have a wonderful day xx

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