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Thread: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

  1. #2841
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Sue,
    Someone once gave me a good piece of advice.
    Don't tell people everything about yourself, it may come back to bite you one day. And believe me, it does!
    You are right in all you say and for that fact I know you will be ok.
    For most of my life I've wondered why people turn nasty.
    It's been pointed out to me that the main reason is jealousy. The green-eyed monster. Bare that in mind.

    These days I have many acquaintances as opposed to friends. I prefer that way for protection mostly. And with anxiety it is more manageable. I don't let anyone down and I'm not beholden to anyone.

    I'm pleased to here about kitty settling in. It was obviously meant to be.

    I think this why we love the company of pets so much, there's much less hassle and disappointment.

    Yesterday I had one of those days of feeling utterly bored.
    Even the tv was boring the sh*t out of me.
    My household chores are all up to date and the other things I normally do need the weather to be better or certain shops and businesses to be open.
    Mr C seems to have his eyes permanently fixed on his IPAD and only breaks to eat and visit the loo.
    And I find myself strangely longing for human company which sounds weird to say as I would normally fret at the thought of socialising.
    I think it's more the lack of not seeing a soul. So my idea of living on a remote island may be abandoned in my thoughts. Unless it was filled with animals of course.

    This lockdown is really making people live in the moment. We can't really make any plans, especially when the goalpost keeps moving. And the fact that we will have to live with this virus situation indefinitely changes our lives massively.
    We have to find new ways to do things, find new joy, adapt to this new way of life.
    This will take time but I have no doubts that people will think of new ways to enjoy life again.
    In the meantime I rack my brain to come up with something to get me motivated that doesn't involve more cooking and putting on more weight, or turning me into a couch potato.
    We all need a purpose in life, virus or no virus.
    I might even surprise myself and write that book I keep threatening to do, lol.

  2. #2842
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    599

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    That is great advice but something I've never been able to do..... when I meet someone I feel comfortable with, I am an open book and spill my guts. I guess it's because I've finally learned not to be ashamed of anything I've done or the things that have happened to me but I should probably try to learn to censor myself a bit. However, I feel like, what's the point of being friends with someone if you can't be totally transparent with them and let them know who the real you is and what has made you the way you are today.

    And it's funny you mentioned friends and acquaintances because when I was trying to "break up" with this friend, I told her I put people into 3 categories: acquaintances, friends, and close friends. And I suggested that perhaps we take a down a notch from being close friends to just "friends" for the sake of the shelter. I guess we'll see how this plays out.

    It was certainly different to hear you say you are longing for human company. I get it - but I'm sure it was a shock to you, too. I guess we really don't know what we have and like until it's gone? Basically, as uncomfortable as it is for some of us, people really do need people (strike up the song by Barbra Streisand here). And we all also do need a purpose or something that makes us feel like there is a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Maybe start cruising some hobby sites online or some "volunteer from home" options that are out there? You'll know when one clicks and gets your attention. I think it's the monotony that is getting to us all. My days are so regimented and all the same that I don't even know what day of the week it is anymore. The casino was a nice break but here I am back in the same routine again. I THINK that will improve when the weather improves, I really need to be out walking my dogs again but I'm not willing to do it when I have to be bundled like an eskimo.

    And I'm still so uncertain about the COVID vaccine. To get it or not to get it? It's a very scary decision either way. I'm hoping my gut, my instincts, and my higher powers will steer me in the right direction when the time comes. They always do come through for me when I ask them to so I will definitely ask. Hope everyone else is doing well..... I hope the silence on the board means they are.
    Sue

  3. #2843
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Yes, I'm surprised too about longing for human contact.
    It's not something I thought would ever bother me.
    It bothers me more when I look out of the window and it is soulless. I'd normally see people walking their dogs, pottering in their gardens, in and out of their cars, people visiting each other, the postman stopping for a quick chat, children playing. It's like a movie set with no characters.

    I read something about thoughts today.
    We have thousands of them every day.
    Some of the past, the future, ideas and so on.
    But the ones that really stand out is the way we feel and the fear of numerous things.
    And what I read was about not accepting the thoughts that basically haunt us, especially where anxiety is concerned.
    We don't have to believe our thoughts, it's just a thought, but we convince ourselves that they are a fact.
    When I go into the kitchen, nine times out of ten I think, "Oh no, here we again, I'm going to feel lightheaded, heart thumping and frightened I will fall or have an accident". Why? I've been in there thousands of times, why does this happen? Because of our thoughts and the repetitive thinking that had become the norm.
    So I'm going to try my hardest to think of something nice and positive as I go in the kitchen and if I have one of those thoughts I'm going to try my hardest to laugh it off.
    This might take some practice.

    Hope everyone getting through this miserable month.
    Lighter days ahead with signs of spring on the way. x

  4. #2844
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    May 2013
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    599

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I totally agree - our thoughts become a habit and habits take work (and time) to break, but they CAN be broken. So I guess you'll need to quickly replace the "Oh no" feeling with something happy and pleasant as quickly as you can and as consistently as you can and hopefully THAT will become the new habit your brain learns. Can you put something in the kitchen that, as soon as you see it, makes smile or brings a pleasant memory to reinforce good thoughts instead of the anxious ones?

    We're going into an extreme cold spell in my area - kind of wish I hadn't packed away all my humidifiers when I was on my cleaning/sorting binge a week ago. And next week I have at least one stressful activity scheduled for each day so I'm already starting to worry about that. So I need to knock it off and decided to not worry about each one until it gets a little closer. Lord knows we don't need anticipatory anxiety on top of our regular stuff.

    Be well, my fellow warriors.
    Sue

  5. #2845
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    That's a good idea Sue

    Chocolate is the first thing that springs to mind

  6. #2846
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    Feb 2016
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    1,973

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Hi Carnation hope you are doing ok , well you know what I mean ok ish , I’d like to take that advice of not telling people everything about yourself , many times I say something then straight after think that may come back to bite me on the arse, if there is a slight silent pause I will fill it , id be no good under interrogation , dog walking brings enough human contact as you need , you have a chat and go your separate ways no pressure to meet back up or go out for drinks , that said I have felt much more lonely in the last year especially now my daughter has left and the other one can’t bring the kids round , I went to buy something from a lady today and stood talking in a muddy horse field in the rain for an hour about anything and everything, I guess a lot of people are missing conversation.

  7. #2847
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Hi Buster,

    Great to hear from you!
    Hey, there's nothing wrong with waffling, I do it all the time. But there's a difference with opening up and putting all your cards on the table. For one thing, it could be used as evidence against if such a fallout should arise.
    No, keep some cards close to your chest.

    Loneliness is horrible. And January makes a good job of making you feel lonelier than ever.
    You can substitute that void with tv and radio. Not quite the same I know. That's where facetime, Skype and WhatsApp are a godsend. Yeah, I know it's not the same either. So my advice is to keep busy until lockdown is lifted and hugging is in fashion again.
    I've got to admit that if I see a passer by I now shout out to them which something I would never have done before.
    Maybe it's more like a "help" am I human, are there others like me? ".

  8. #2848
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Yay! It's the last day of January
    The worst January known in my lifetime.

    The sun is shining for once and I'm noticing the first signs of Spring. Crocuses are up and heads of bulbs poking through the soil. The grass is getting longer, the wallflowers ready to bloom and budding appearing on the shrubs. The birds are more apparent and I have the joy of watching two bluetits resting on the tree outside my bedroom window. It's light til 5pm and increasing every day. A little more activity around people's homes too.

    For me, this last week has been the hardest. Like the final mile of a marathon. Anxiety has been up, oversensitised, so much adrenalin and fatigue at the same time. Boredom, oh no boredom. Feeling sad about the whole situation, then being reminded of the sadness when you switch on the tv. Then I worry how it will affect my agoraphobia and more importantly when we come out of lockdown, whenever that is, are we going to be facing another wave and lockdown again.
    But we're not supposed to be worrying, us anxiety sufferers. All that CBT, Mindfulness, meditation, living in the present moment. Oh my, what a test this is.
    But if you're reading, you've done it. Your doing it. And I have no doubt that you will continue to get through whatever you are faced with.
    So take this last day of January to give yourself a huge congratulations and praise, because you are far more stronger and capable than you realise. x

  9. #2849

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I'll say one thing for Anxiety. If you win over one symptom, it tries another and another and another. It's soooo exhausting.
    So true! It's like a dragon, you cut off one head, two more grows back. You're doing great, and I'm rooting for you! When I was in high school, I had a few years when I couldn't bring myself to go outside, because almost everything triggered my anxiety. Then I started going out more and more, and my bad feelings gradually decreased. Accepting the fears played a big part in it. Some of us have a sensitive "danger sensor" in our brains, and it's not our fault. We're doing our best to live with it.

  10. #2850
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Thank you singing rabbit.
    Lol, never heard a rabbit sing, but would love to.

    Great post and brilliant you overcame that episode.
    Gotta keep chopping those dragon heads.

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