Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[DustingMyselfOff]

I am so thankful that I am categorized as an essential worker because if I were to stay in the house 7 days a week, I think I would be seeing a real increase in my anxiety. Yes, I GREATLY enjoy my days when I don't have to go anywhere and don't even have to get dressed, but having too many of those would NOT be good for me. So going into the shelter to care for the animals for 3, 4, or 5 days a week has been a great distraction. We are being VERY careful and cautious there... as a matter of fact we had an hour-long conference call this morning going over even MORE stringent practices and guidelines to put into place. I know I'm not totally safe going ANYWHERE, but I feel pretty comfortable being there.

Regarding my trips, Mrs. C (still amazed at your memory): I had booked flights for me and hubby to go to Florida in June for his brother's wedding. I received an email a few days ago saying they were putting us on different flights than the ones I chose so I just cancelled the entire trip. The new times didn't work for me so if this virus scare is over in a few weeks, I'll see if they are offering decent flights again. Regarding the trip to be with my daughter on the west coast for Easter? Definitely not happening, but I do keep checking the prices and times for a visit in June . . . I HOPE it will be safe to fly by then.

Love you all..... fellow boat-mates.
Sue

[Carnation]

Pulisa

I don't like it at all either, although you have a menagerie of stress and worries in the household, it must feel like you are living in hell at the moment.
Avoiding the news is very wise, but what I do is record it and flick through the bits when I feel able to digest, although I tend to watch the local news bulletins as opposed to the main news, which just basically frightens the hell out of people.
They don't appear to be announcing the recoveries or the people that have had it already with mild symptoms and there are many of them.
And the thought of lock down for weeks, months and we have to note that it's only been 1 week so far for most people, it just fills everyone with more anxiety, depression and fright.

So the other day, I decided I'd educate myself more on the the pandemic of 1918. I watched several documentaries and for the first time realised how devastating it was but at the same time thought to myself how the world recovered and built up again to live to see the roaring 20s and beyond.
You can't even begin to understand the fear at that time, a pandemic and a world war.
So, I like to think that although this is horrendous and scary, we have more meds, more luxury comforts, cars for most people, more support and more chance of dealing with this.
I also find myself contacting people that I haven't spoken to for ages, watching a lot of comedy and really enjoying my food, like it's best thing in the day to look forward to.
TV has been ripped to shreds from the soaps, reality TV and live shows and our freedom has been limited.
I can't seem to master any energy to do any of those jobs around the home, but I'm finding the garden a great comfort. The garden already looks like an artist has been at work and I haven't touched it yet.
I go for my one form of exercise which is a walk around the block and if I don't do that, I pace around the garden as if in a prison yard.
Our online shopping has been a waste of time. Although I'm grateful as I know there are many that can't even get a delivery, you might not feel so left out when I tell you a third of it isn't available and another third is past its use by date within 2 days. Last week we didn't get any vegetables, meat, bread or toilet rolls.
So we had to go out and it's a scary venture.
I think I must get my head around something, but even the neighbours we offered our services to are too scared for us to deliver anything to them. We are assuming that as they haven't called us for anything.
And I think heavily of the people that are working on the front line which includes a family member of mine and the people that have businesses they will worry about losing and the people that wait for the promise of financial help and then I regard myself as fortunate that I no longer work, no longer have a business, no longer have parents to worry over.
But I do wake up ever morning thinking, "is this real, is this really happening?"
It's going to take adjusting and time to adapt, but like 1918, the world got through it. x

[glassgirlw]

Hi, ladies!

Pulisa, I’ve followed along on your story and although I haven’t commented, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. It must be incredibly stressful and added on to everything else going on I’m so impressed with how you’re handling it. I know there’s not much choice especially when dealing with our own children. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way - you seem to be a very strong individual and I’ve no doubt you will get through this as you have so much else!

Mrs. C, I absolutely sympathize about the online delivery. They keep telling us to stay in, and I have no desire to go fight the crowds at the local grocery - I placed my grocerynorder on Friday last and it won’t be ready until this coming Friday!! Crazy! Remains to be seen if it will all be in stock I think we’re all on edge over here too. We all kind of look at each other like we’re all infected. But I suppose that’s a good way to maintain the social distancing. I was actually reading up on the 2009 swine flu pandemic today. It’s a little eerie how similar the response was to what’s occurring today.

Today wasn’t terrible! Beautiful sunny day, enjoyed playing with my dogs in our backyard and soaked up some rays still had the odd anxiety symptoms but trying to manage them the best I can.

wishing you all the best!

[Carnation]

Sue, what a great move taking that job of yours, it's going to stead you well in this current climate.
As for your trip in June, I think you may have to accept that might be doubtful.
But who knows, my predication of this being a long haul might be wrong, but here in the UK we have been prepared for a 6 month lock down.
Whether it's, 3 or 6 months, it will take time to get back to normal and the new normal is certainly going to be much different than pre the virus. Hopefully in a better way. x

Glassgirlw,
It might seem to some that being anxious over the shopping deliveries and stocks of provisions somewhat picky, but some people like myself like a routine to keep going or can only eat certain foods to combat their current ailments such as GERD, IBS.
As a former anorexic, I'm certainly worried about the food supplies and I have a mental block about eating anything out of date.
I regularly take chamomile tea to calm my anxiety and the supermarket was out of stock, so just that can ramp up the anxiety.
We are not in the vulnerable bracket, but many people feel they are if they have agoraphobia and anxiety.

On a good note, the lettuce I seeded is already showing from a few days ago and I certainly noticed the seeds in general have taken off this year when I noticed the rack in the shop almost empty.

We can only take this a step at a time, do our upmost to keep fit and healthy and sit it out.
But at least we have this Forum for company. x

[pulisa]

Glassgirlw and Carnation....Thank you so much for your good wishes. I had a chat with my son's psychiatrist and he wants to keep him in for a bit longer so this gives us some breathing space. I really need him to have a structured plan following discharge however impossible that may be in the current climate.

Food shopping and storing stuff for a possible 14 days of isolation for 3 or 4 people is really daunting for me as I don't have a freezer-just a small freezer section in my fridge. I'll have to look into getting some fruit and veg delivered just in case...

hope everyone is ok and coping xx

[Carnation]

Pulisa, deliveries are the way to go from smaller independent shops. You could even set up a weekly regular order. The big Supermarkets are a big let down, so unreliable. All deliveries now left on the doorstep in bags and for once I can carry them in myself.
I hated those crates, how most people are expected to lift them? Obviously the saving plastic has gone out of the window, but I reuse them as bin liners, which I have always done.
Pulisa, your son's situation is so complexed and I find moving him quite a surprise, but yes, it cannot be done until he has everything in place and I would have thought he would need to be tested for covid-19 before that move. As a carer that is important for your daughter and yourself. You could use that as a delay under the circumstances. Obviously I know you care about your son too, but you have to look at the whole picture. xx

I had a lovely surprise yesterday, my cousin and wife, (the only family that have kept contact since mum passed), face-timed us. What a wonderful tool that is.
Mr C and I have never watched so much YouTube scouring stuff of humour, crazy and dare I say more stuff on Covid19.
And why are we so hungry all the time? We are not doing anything energetic, but forever searching for a biscuit or thinking about the next meal.
Apart from the weekend, the weather has been amazing to be in the garden or our daily walk and for some strange reason I'm walking far more than pre the virus. Looking back to August, I spent most of my hours in my bedroom.
Strange isn't it?
I keep saying I'll start a jigsaw puzzle, but my brain relates that to winter. Can't seem to find a book to get into either, even though I have hundreds!
We even discussed following one of those fitness exercise routines on the internet, but when we saw the jumping up and down flapping your arms in the air, we looked at each other and said, "no way!".
It's only been 8 days in lock down for most people and it already feels like a month.
But I'm sure as time passes we will adapt like most things we have to adapt to.
One thing for sure, going out shopping will never be the same. As will socialising.
Keep calm and stay safe. xx

[snowghost57]

Wow, Carnation you probably won't remember me, I am a member in the US. I followed your post, "Scared of losing my Mum" I made some friends here, even 3 year later I still chat with one gentleman from Ireland on FB. I stopped looking at this group as I felt that no one was offering suggestions in order to heal and to get better, both mentally and physically. I stopped chatting here in the room and posting. I did met another nice gentleman from England and we did email for a while. He had the most amazing stories on how the mind played tricks on us. Sadly his emails stopped abruptly. The HA posts were starting to make me worry about my health and I knew I had to move on and find ways to heal.

Its nice to see your post. Time does heal. I went through a period myself, crying all day, fear and worry. Panic and anxiety attacks were my way of life, meds and therapy helped, though I stopped the meds myself, that's when I found this group. I started listening to positive videos on YouTube, Louise Hays, Joel Osteen. It really helped. Three years later, I am much better. In addition I learned we all have trials in life we go through, loved ones are lost, jobs, homes and we feel we are all alone and lost. You are right we can heal.

Thank you for your post, I am so happy to hear that you are doing well. I did not know that crying helps. I just thought it was a stress reliever. Stay strong and positive.

[Carnation]

Snowghost I do remember you
How lovely to hear from you and your progress.
Since we last spoke, I've healed and relapsed, healed and relapsed and more healing and relapsing.
But now I'm at a point of taking each day as it comes and coping with it best I can.
I too have benefited from videos and writings from Louise Hay and Dennis Simsek, known more commonly as 'The Anxiety Guy'.
I came to realise that depression played a big factor in my life and understanding it more now.
I know now I will always cry at the slightest of upsets and even sometimes not an upset but just because.
I carry heavy emotions and use my high sensitivity in my creativity.
Maybe we have always been this way and years and years produce a climax. And we all know a climax has to come down, like the Coronavirus.
Once again, so lovely to hear from you. xx

[clio51]

Hi
i too have looked at your post many times and may have added a couple off times in the past. I think we’re in about the same age bracket?
you amaze me with your strength and determination Carnation, especially recently. You and your hubby seem to have a good understanding together re what you can can’t manage

ive been doing ok for the past few mths, well a few wobbles but mainly coping to the best I can without it getting out of control and anxiety getting the better of me. It’s just hit me in the last few years, and I’ve suffered A & D since being 25yrs old how much the mind controls us. The way we think as a massive impact on the way we feel.
maybe it’s the more determined I was at the time to get help with THOUGHTS I was having that impacted the way I felt and how controlling they became without actually realising Even though I’d been told lots off times by therapist there only a thought, there not real. I get so confused sometimes in the things I do, like I’ll buy book or listen to YouTube, but then get frightened that it becomes all anxiety and out it away. I mainly get them out/do this when I’m struggling. You’d think knowledge would help, but sometimes it the opposite with me.

Today was not a good start to the day, I’m not sleeping very well at the moment with waking 2/3 times a night. When I lay on my back, I wake with the back off occipult(bump going into base before neck starts) hurting/tense ? so much so I’m scared to turn over. This must off been on my mind more this morning because it really got to me, and I even said to partner I think there’s something wrong with me. So much so it’s affecting my bodily symptoms feeling more tense, snappy having to push myself to eat something(always affects my appetite or bowels☹️. I’ve had to take 2mg diazepam to try and calm my negative self thoughts.
I want to do things around the house but the minds getting the better off me today, but I’ve managed to defrost freezer and feel bit better after doing that.
just sat now with camomile tea and reading update on your thread.

i see your a keen gardener? Maybe you could give me a few tips on that also, although I hate the cold and don’t like going outside when it is. Although the weather from Sunday is looking up ��. Did I read when you moved, you live near the sea now? If so what part of the country you in? I’m in Manchester.
hows about posting pics off your garden?

well off to try something else now, don’t want to sit still I get the body checking thing. Do I feel ok etc

[Carnation]

Aww clio51

Have you tried a nighttime sleeping meditation App? That might help a bit.
But I wouldn't worry about waking up in the night. The more you worry about that the more stressed you'll get.
I just don't let it bother me anymore and thinking back, I've always been like that.

I am a keen gardener, but still learning. My mum had what you call 'Green Fingers' and she taught me a lot. But I tend to think it's the care and attention that helps anything grow. Any plant likes to be talked to. I believe that.
I'm experimenting with indoor growing this year. I'm referring to a greenhouse or garage.
Early days yet for me to comment. But I'll update my progress, failure and tips.

With those jobs around the house, you do have to be in the mood to do them. If you don't feel like it, so what. Go with the flow. Be kind to yourself.

Yes, I do live by the sea now. x