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Thread: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

  1. #101
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Im not sure if you experience this but what you describe sounds like depersonalisation ( I might be stating the bloody obvious) I get this a lot walking along like I'm on someone else's back , my limbs don't really belong to me , then a little panic sets in and everything becomes hard work , heavy limbs breathing becomes harder which in turn reduces oxygen to the muscles and it makes it even harder , my mouth is always a step in front of my brain as well but that's a different storey .
    You also do what I do over analysing everything why am I feeling this way must be a reason but sometimes there is no reason and questioning it just makes it more of a problem .
    One thing I do know is trying too hard to be in the moment takes you out of the moment if that makes sence , if im feeling spaced out and weird doing something you have to concentrate on brings you back into the now .
    Lifting and carrying is an issue with me as well , if I need to move something heavy I've already overthought it before I start and doomed myself , getting out of breath and not getting it back is my fear so starting to get out of breath sets in the panic , if I just have to do something on the spur of the moment I'm usually ok .
    Turning into a bit of a cuckoo sneaking into other people's threads while they are out I really need to stop that , 4000+ views so people are reading .
    Take care

  2. #102
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Hi Carnation. I am still enjoying reading your daily posts and could particularly empathise with yesterday. I have been having some really good days, doing things I haven't done for a long time and thinking more positively, and hey-ho out of the blue comes a day when I can't seem to walk in a straight line without toppling over, vision problems, head pressure, the damn lot !!! I then find it very difficult to get my headspace back into thinking positively again. I seem to go back to thinking I will never crack this anxiety. It's so frustrating and depressing. Oh well, today is another day, so onwards and upwards. Take care SM x
    SM, first and foremost, one of these is needed
    I am pleased you are having some joy with my posts, if nothing else to compare notes! When you read of a similarity in a symptom, it is comforting to know you are not the only one and can prevent you from thinking it might be something worse.
    These symptoms can make you feel very angry at times and it IS the anger that sometimes gets me through the day. Other days it could be tears, but whatever it is, we need to find ways of coping. x

    Im not sure if you experience this but what you describe sounds like depersonalisation ( I might be stating the bloody obvious) I get this a lot walking along like I'm on someone else's back , my limbs don't really belong to me , then a little panic sets in and everything becomes hard work , heavy limbs breathing becomes harder which in turn reduces oxygen to the muscles and it makes it even harder , my mouth is always a step in front of my brain as well but that's a different storey .
    You also do what I do over analysing everything why am I feeling this way must be a reason but sometimes there is no reason and questioning it just makes it more of a problem .
    One thing I do know is trying too hard to be in the moment takes you out of the moment if that makes sence , if im feeling spaced out and weird doing something you have to concentrate on brings you back into the now .
    Lifting and carrying is an issue with me as well , if I need to move something heavy I've already overthought it before I start and doomed myself , getting out of breath and not getting it back is my fear so starting to get out of breath sets in the panic , if I just have to do something on the spur of the moment I'm usually ok .
    Turning into a bit of a cuckoo sneaking into other people's threads while they are out I really need to stop that , 4000+ views so people are reading .
    Take care
    Buster, I hear what you are saying about depersonalisation and I have had that a few times, the worst being when I had my original breakdown. You could be right in some instances, but I am leaning more towards an off day. For me when I had depersonalisation, I felt detached from the world and everything in it and had problems with even recognising myself in the mirror.

    However, I recognise particularly a symptom you mentioned, which is the mouth/brain, which happens to me from time to time.
    Various forms of not being able to communicate normally.
    I will go to say something and the words could be back to front or in the wrong order.
    Or I will go to speak and there will no voice!
    Or I will say something completely and utterly stupid.
    Then there is the one where I will repeat what the other person has just said, just for the hell of it.
    I have also had a choking fit when speaking and hot flushes when in conversation.

    I put this down to social anxiety and basically being nervous.

    Buster, a big strapping lad like you? Worried about lifting heavy stuff?
    I know, you are a softie inside.
    Seriously, lifting normal day to day stuff should have no affect on your breathing.
    The breathlessness is actually how you have said it, "breathing becomes harder which in turn reduces oxygen ", through panicking!

    ---------- Post added at 15:17 ---------- Previous post was at 15:09 ----------

    Just to add to that, as my post got posted before I had finished!!!s

    I was going to mention that some of the Mindfulness tell you to lift heavy items as part of the course.
    It's just a 'Pool Table' is particularly a heavy item for a woman to lift up from the floor, not knowing I had a whole in my heart as well.
    And if you ask, "Why on earth was I doing that in the first place?"
    Well, we were running a pub at the time and I was too impatient to wait my for partner to do it and paid the price for doing it myself. Certainly taught me a lesson!

    So, please don't think you are going to die every time you do any lifting.

    Yeah, 4000+ readers. Wow, who would have thought it?

    ---------- Post added at 15:50 ---------- Previous post was at 15:17 ----------

    I am writing my blog a little earlier today in case I forget the stuff that's sitting inside my unpredictable brain!

    I will start by telling you that yesterday was just a an 'Off Day', which I am obviously very pleased about. Despite having a stressful morning because my internet was down on my phone and computer, but was strangely working on my partners. I was very concerned that it might have been something serious.
    Anyway, it is fixed and I can now get on with what I want to do.

    I even managed a very long soak in the bath, but had to get out eventually as my white legs had turned bright red and my skin was starting to wrinkle!
    I am going out on a limb here to say that yesterday was too do with tiredness.
    Being tired with anxiety is not necessarily a physical thing, although it will affect the body. But my brain was tired and that would probably explain why it was a pace behind my physical movements.

    So if you feel this happen to you one day, just tell yourself, "It's not such a good day today, but I will feel better tomorrow".

    I also want to tell you about my TV viewing.
    I have started watching, 'Would I lie to You?'. (They run a stack of repeats on one of those many extra stations we get on our TV.
    I finding it very good for my Anxiety. Yes, 'IT' enjoys it too.
    Well, if it's going to hang around with me, it might as well be occupied like a naughty child.

    This programme is good for me for many reasons.
    1. It is company, because they are chatting as if in your room.
    2. It is funny, so it makes me feel better.
    3. You can play along with the guessing, which is good for keeping your mind occupied.
    4. 'Lee Mack' keeps getting hot flushes and doesn't flinch, which makes me feel better about myself. (Apologies to 'Lee Mack' if he should read this, I think he is great!).

    So, if you can find programmes like this on TV, it's surely got to be better than watching someone dying an explicitly long death in a film or listening to actors/actresses shouting at each other in a Soap or the dreary news and weather reports.

    My 'Tip' for the day is Singing!!!
    If you feel out of breath, panicky, or think something bad is going to happen to you.
    Try singing a song, anything at all.
    Why? Because if you are singing, you can't be out of breath or having a heart attack and it strangely relieves Anxiety and Panic and feeds good levels of happiness in to what feels like our uncontrollable brain.


    On that note
    'til next time........

  3. #103
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Did you put on the red cape before you picked up the pool table off the small trapped child we are bloody idiots for lifting way too heavy things that's why I've worn out my discs in my back , didn't think body parts wore out until your seventies at least , we used to turn cars over in scrap yards with just three people and brute force nearly ended up under one like a rat trap when two guys let go , it's not shopping bags and alike that scare me it's getting motorbikes in my van alone or overloaded boxes , I will never learn .
    Singing is a good one for driving anxiety I just sing my head off in traffic around the city people must pee themselves but who cares I don't know them , another one I do when out walking when the breathlessness and panic sets in is to say " this exercise is going to do me good " in one breath , I read if you can say that in one go you are not that out of breath .
    Bob Mortimer is the best on Would I lie to you , his stories are so bizarre and usually true , he plays the fool but he's no idiot there is a lot more to him than meets the eye ( I googled him I do that a lot )
    Have a good one tomorrow, cuckoooo

  4. #104
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I agree with you about Bob Mortimer. I never realised he was so funny.
    The one about him doing his own dentistry had me on the floor with fits of laughter.

    Ha ha, I guess you are referring to my 'Wonder Woman' moments.
    No saving lives that time.
    It was a case of, "Excuse me Miss, my ball's got stuck in the pocket", and don't take that the wrong way! (Always happening with pool tables).

  5. #105
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Blimey! I'll have to down more cans of spinach to contend with you, Carnation!

    I find the most frustrating thing is that my anxiety voice in my head really wants to trip me up and make me think about my worst fears even when I am doing ok. Even in that bloody scanner my thoughts were "you can't breathe, can you?"/ "you need to move,don't you?". I rode it out but I hate it when you work against yourself in these situations-almost as if you are asking for trouble because that is what is going to happen. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that...I find the same thing when I'm driving or in significant meetings when I can't cock things up but my brain wants me to..

    Cue men in white coats...?

  6. #106
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Bob was actually a solicitor before he met Vic reeves now Jim Moir , he was great on taskmaster , he's one of those people seems to be on a different wave length to everyone else . Had a feeling you'd just be retrieving a stuck white ball with the technical method of the lift and drop technique, lift , drop , clunk , roll , listen and clunk out it drops , sounds of a misspent youth .
    Pulisa I know you don't mean it literally but anxiety does sometimes trip me up , heavy clumsy feet and weak legs don't make good for walking on uneven ground , I think god soon I'm going to stumble then there it is trip . I bet there are times you want to take a red pen to my posts and correct the speling and punktuation right ? Can't teach an old dog new tricks hope you are ok today .

  7. #107
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    There simply aren't enough hours in a man's day to do all the things you women get through. I have to sit down with a coffee and rest after just reading it

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnation
    The thing is, when you are doing a task that is so robotic and mundane, the mind can wander and you may not be aware of it, but you are thinking of other things. Worries, stresses, past, future. It's not the carrot peeling, it's the mind that is wandering.
    It will make no difference whatsoever if you run away or fret about where you are of what you are doing. It's the mind and NOT the task.
    This is exactly why you are more likely to get muscle twitching, adrenalin rushes and many other anxiety symptoms when you are just sitting and relaxing.
    Yes, you may think you are relaxing, but your mind isn't!
    I can really relate to the above. I find my mind traversing the universe and back...all manner of past memories - usually unpleasant ones - trying to wind me up anew. "How did you let them get away with doing/saying that!" "Why didn't you act differently?" "Why didn't you speak up?" So by the time I've finished the dishes, I'm looking for a punchbag.

    Usually I make do with sitting down with another coffee
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    Never Surrender, Comrade

  8. #108
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    So you actually wash up, KK? I am impressed and you deserve your caffeine fix!

  9. #109
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Pulisa, You are far braver than me. A Scanner!!! I'd be kicking and punching like a baby, let alone screaming the place down. Can't bare confined spaces and the white coat brigade. Actually, you'd be surprised that a Pool table is not too heavy to lift up; it's the keeping it up that requires extra strength. In my case through anger that my partner was elbow on bar chatting and ignoring my plea for help and I just got stupid and thought, "bugger it, I'll do it myself".

    Buster, I am the worst for spelling mistakes and half the time it's because I am too impatient to check before posting. With that and predictive text, I have no hope.

    KK77, I am also impressed you 'do the dishes'. Don't they have a machine that does that now? And sounds like you drink to much coffee? If I did, I would be running around the garden as if in a Flower/Power state.

    So today was let's say a trying day. Not tiring, TRYING!
    My dad used to use that terminology and it sounds less negative than a bad day.
    I'm not talking about Anxiety stuff, I am talking about life stresses.
    However, they don't do the anxiety any good and considering, I coped pretty well.
    There is many a time that I look at the untouched bottles of wine and could easily grab one and divulge, but I know that's not the answer and in turn, could make me worse.

    Why are there so many stresses with life today?
    Everything seems to breakdown, stuff is made only to last about a couple of years and for some strange reason, ITV3 has disappeared from my TV.
    There's a drip in the bathroom which drives me insane throughout the night and the birds are waking me up far too early in the morning. Yeah, they are a joy to watch during the day, but for a little beak they sure can throw out a piercing trill.
    It's funny how I use the bird's song for my meditation, but can stress me as well.

    Does anyone look at themselves in the mirror in the morning and hope they see a fresh and youth looking reflection with a glowing look of health, but see a vision of what looks like no sleep and, dark circles, puffy eyes and dull looking skin?
    How long does one have to sleep to get a radiant look without getting pregnant?
    I know vitamin D can help with this as well as a sun tan, but as the months have passed us in winter mode, it seems to show in my face.

    The thing that is pestering me at the moment is the adrenalin filled legs.
    It feels like I am wearing running taps strapped to each leg.
    I do that; acknowledge, understand and carry on bit, but it's still unnerving.
    And I must remember not to keep looking at the ground when I am walking.
    I preach, but I forget to do it myself. Head hanging low, staring at my legs and then not realising I've bumped in to somebody or worse still, not seeing a car when crossing the road.

    I also lost my temper with somebody today, which is something I rarely do.
    I try avoid confrontation and normally walk away.
    I also worry that an outburst will lead to yet more symptoms and my poor nerves shattered even more.
    I've read conflicting advice about anger. Some say to release any anger as it is not good to store inside of you and others that say it is best not to get angry and try to see the funny side. Easy to say.
    With one therapist I was told to get a cushion and pillow and punch it with all the anger I had. Then another was to put down anger stuff o paper and burn it and another was to just toss it aside and put it in imaginary box to be shut and never opened again. I can't say which one is the right one, but we all have anger.
    Anger with stress, disappointment, people, gadgets and especially with Anxiety.
    Now that's where it sometimes works for me. Getting angry with anxiety, when it gets to the point where I am fumbling, staggering and blubbering a load of rubbish, I get angry with it and shout something like, "Oh, for God's sake, beep, beep, beep!***!
    So, I suppose anger can have it's moments, but like everything, in moderation.

    They say with stress that it can take 4 times as long to calm down.
    My, is there enough time in the day? No wonder we are messed up.

    Until next time.........

  10. #110
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Carnation swearing is excellent therapy it should be on the NHS , when I get frustrated with my brain messing things up it's usually "for fuŁks sake will yiu just fu&k off " but magic would probably put it better .
    Had a couple of lousy days , virtually no sleep and then tired all day long , today I've bought some cbd oil , I've not got a lot to lose right now so I'll let you know how that goes , if you don't hear anything then it didn't go well and I'll be in broadmore ( what do ya mean good ?)
    Take care.

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