Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

I don't miss running a business at all!
We had a medium size and small one and both was just as much work. A pub and a tea room.
Both of them was in the leisure industry. Sounds nice, but it was an ongoing headache.
I'd start work at 9am and finish well past midnight, every day!
That was our bar and we could have a wedding on the Saturday and a christening the next day, in between our normal trading with our regulars and running a restaurant. The locals used to call it 'Faulty' Towers', because I'd always be calling for Mr C and asking him why he hadn't put that picture up from last week and I'd get a "yes dear, just doing it dear". And when we were having one of our disagreements in the office, which the punters could faintly here, we'd come back out all smiles like nothing had happened. We were quite good entertainment for people. I even imitated 'Sybil's' voice.
And as I'm a perfectionist, I would say things like, "why have you put that table there?" or "The labels need to face to the front, not the wall" (I'm like that with my kitchen cupboards too).
But mainly I would go around correcting it all myself and the customers would say to me, "Has Mr C not done it right again?" I would just roll my eyes, a lot!
Don't get me wrong, it's hard to work with the one you live with, especially all day and most of the night and we are still together, but it is a strain.
He once fell asleep at the bar when a regular was spilling out his life story. I made an excuse that he was not feeling well, but I couldn't help laughing inside.
And his idea of paperwork is shove it in the drawer and forget about it!
But he outshone me with dealing with the crowds. I'd take myself off to the kitchen and keep my head down.
The kitchen was hard. There was me and there was me. And one day, when I was snowed under and Mr C brought in yet another food order to go with the thirty odd I already had, I lost it, closed the kitchen door and wrote on a piece of paper in big letters, "F*** O**". He told our regulars that he thought I needed a holiday. Really, do you think so? When I eventually came out, everyone started clapping me with cheer.
So even the stressful bits had their funny sides.
We don't miss the job, but miss some of the people.

I had a blissfully calm and relaxing day yesterday. I had a sleep in, watched two black and white films, (Sue, us English really don't speak that way for real, like the Queen) Had an easy dinner and finished with soaking my feet and doing my nails. You haven't lived if you haven't had a foot soak. Really, it takes a lot of tension away and makes you feel real sleepy.
Today we are back on the case again or should I say boxes, but this time we have discussed which ones to deal with before we get there.
Lovely sunny day today, so I can feel another ice-cream looming.

[Carnation]

Yesterday I spent 5 hours trying to get the tv set up in the new place and as much as I tried, the tv channels wouldn't tune. A couple of very long calls to BT and still no joy and the common excuse, "there must be a fault on the line" filled me with rage and exasperation. I could feel my anxiety building and building over the hours to the thought of it killing me. It could also have been the dreadful piped music they left me hanging on to or the condescending voice asking me if the aerial is in.
I could have picked up that tv and smashed it to pieces yesterday calling it a lump of s**t at the same time.
How on earth an elderly person on their own would cope, I have no idea. Just the amount of wires and plugs would be enough to make you keel over with confusion.
What happened to plug it in and switch it on?
I had to buy a 6 point plug extension and they are all full and I still have no where to plug in my lamp or charge up my mobile or computer.
It's the era of plugs!!!!
Eventually they agreed to send someone out, probably due to my incessant sighing and drop in the tone of my voice.
Had a very uncomfortable night's sleep last night, not only did I have to force myself to do meditation to calm myself down, which was causing me more stress due to chest pain every time I breathed in and out, the humidity was like off the scale! Not a good combination for anxiety sufferers, chest pain and sweating. But I was so pooped from the day, I couldn't even entertain becoming panicky. I just wanted to sleep and the day become a distant memory. Maybe that's the answer, make yourself so tired that you don't have the energy for a panic attack.
Another two viewings today on the property we are still in. They are becoming tiresome and an annoyance.
I've got a good idea how the animals feel at the zoo now, because the last viewers we had were 40 minutes late and turned up when we were having lunch. At one point I imagined them handing me a banana to see what I'd do with it.
You may well ask why we are still here, but taking no chances on the reliability of my coping days, I thought it would be wise to have an overlap. The downside is I now have two places to look after and my stuff is split between the two.
But, there's no getting everything sorted in one day, which I definitely wouldn't have been able to cope with.
Not much longer to go and it can't come quick enough for me, like the tv channels.

[Darksky]

Everything is unecessarily complicated today. My mother recently had a new TV and she bought it from a small shop who deliver and tune it all in for you. So all you do is switch on and it's there. There must be a market for that kind of service or he wouldn't do it.

VHS machines were simple too. Put the tape in and press record. I have no idea how to record off this all singling, all dancing thing we have now. Even phones, they are becoming mini computers. How did we manage with just a two tone green trim phone. We thought we were the bees knees when we got it.

did you ever read Catherine Cooksons bio. She had this too and I remember her writing, when she was bad she worked really long hours to exhaust herself into sleep. Do you not have a fan with you. I can't sleep without the cool breeze on me. Actually I was in b and q the other day...I seem to live in that shop......and I was seriously looking at the mobile air con units. I don't think I could manage another summer like last

l keep hoping we will win the lottery so we can buy a house and do what you're doing. Slowly move in. No mad, out of one and in another, in the same day. I don't know how people do it.

[Carnation]

Hi Darksky
I do have a fan, but the noise keeps me awake.
But maybe it's time to take the long sleeved jim jams off. I've become a real old woman of late with me vests and brushed cotton sheets.
It's much cooler on the East Coast, but that humidity does me in. It's like menopausal for hours!

I'm supposed to having a more laid back day today, but already had two house viewings and now doing more packing. Where does it all come from?
So, it's plants on their way over to their new abode. I've told them they'll be happier in their new place and they seem quite excited. (state of origin - B & Q).

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hello Queenie and Darsky.
I'm right there with you with missing the simplicity of electronics! I have spent 4 days now researching and installing apps and clearing caches and trying different ports and plugs, ahhhhhh! The joys of getting a new car. Trying to sync my phone with my car, and then the phone won't sync with my computer anymore, so installing and un-installing different programs, and still nothing but error messages. I miss the days when you could pop a cassette (or an 8-track!) into your car and go!

Ahhhh yes, the dreaded humidity. I wake up soaked every morning and if our AC guy doesn't come out to fix our central unit soon I am going to insist hubby haul a window unit into the bedroom. We have a ceiling fan but it barely makes it bearable and does nothing for the humidity.

Had a bad day yesterday but don't know if it was as a result of me changing my Prozac dose (3 weeks ago) or if I'm coming down with something, but I felt physically crappy which, of course, sets off anxiety. Think today is feeling better, and if I have energy will keep myself busy to outrun any anxiety.

The battle continues, but we will prevail!
Sue

[Carnation]

Sue, nothing seems to sync these days, including our brains!
Can I just say, when you are going through a bad patch of anxiety, it is quite normal to have 2 or 3 good days, then a bad day, even two. This is typical of repair and is as normal as you can get in recovery.
In a way, it's supposed to make you stop and take note NOT to overdo things on your good days.
It's ok, we all do it thinking, "great I feel more like the old me". But hey, we don't want to be the old version, we want to be the new reconditioned version.
Make a note in your busy diary to find room for that sit down with a cuppa or a manicure, foot massage, legs up while you divulge in an ice cream.
If you remind your body that you are looking after it, it will look after you! x

[Darksky]

Last night, as I was putting the fan on I had a thought. Have you seen the Dyson fans? I stood in front of one in PC World and they are cooling but silent. At least I think they are, I had the noise of the shop round me, but certainly they don't those choppy blades going round and it's those that make the noise.

downside is they are expensive to buy

[BlueIris]

...I would kill for one of those Dyson fans.

[Midnight-mouse]

...I would kill for one of those Dyson fans.

I absolutely adore mine! Best purchase ever!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[DustingMyselfOff]

Sue, nothing seems to sync these days, including our brains!
Can I just say, when you are going through a bad patch of anxiety, it is quite normal to have 2 or 3 good days, then a bad day, even two. This is typical of repair and is as normal as you can get in recovery.
In a way, it's supposed to make you stop and take note NOT to overdo things on your good days.
It's ok, we all do it thinking, "great I feel more like the old me". But hey, we don't want to be the old version, we want to be the new reconditioned version.
Make a note in your busy diary to find room for that sit down with a cuppa or a manicure, foot massage, legs up while you divulge in an ice cream.
If you remind your body that you are looking after it, it will look after you! x

I disagree: it seems most of the people in this thread have brains that sync together perfectly. it's the rest of the world that is out of whack!

You always have such precise, simple, easy-to-grasp explanations for things that I keep with me - thank you for that! The reminder about not being "our old selves" but rather our new, improved selves is something I need to hang onto. And you telling me that it's absolutely expected that we should have 2-3 good days followed by a bad day or two: how did you know That's precisely my cycle. But WHY?!?!?! I had an amazing 3 days where I felt great, physically and mentally, and then just when I was enjoying life, BAM - bad day. I guess maybe it is a reminder, but can't I use a post-it note instead?????

Anyway, it's reassuring to hear that this is part of a process, and I guess I have no choice but to trust the process.
Now I'm off to research Dyson fans!
Sue