Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[fishman65]

Carnation, I could feel every second in your description of the neighbours meeting. In situations like that we tend to hold on for dear life and hope the time flies, usually it drags. I'm really impressed with your managing to sit through until the end, I don't think I could have. No wonder you were exhausted. Award yourself a medal

[Carnation]

Thank you fishman.

[pulisa]

I couldn't have done it either! AND you're up for second helpings today with the Sunday lunch!!

I really hope it goes well-no reason why it shouldn't with your amazing progress! x

[Buster70]

The scene you describe reminds me of keeping up appearances if you ever watched it Hyacinth Buckets neighbour not wanting to go round for fear of spilling her tea
I went to see an old chap last week who I've know a long time , I've been putting it off because I haven't felt good , when got got chatting I was getting nervous for no bloody reason so my throat got tight and dryer , after about forty mins I was still sipping freezing cold tea which I hate just to stop the dry thoat and even though we were still talking my mind was elsewhere, it's amazing the situations we put ourselves in just to be polite, sometimes we should be able to say no I don't fancy it , anxiety just strips the enjoyment out of everything .
If you keep trying with these situations sooner or later it will seem normal again , enjoy the Sunday dinner .
Right got to find my list of where I put my lists , the worst thing I've forgotten other than picking up the kids is forgetting how to swallow when I put a tablet in my mouth , just stand there trying to swallow with nothing happening while it slowly dissolves .

[Senior Moment]

Could so relate to your experience in your neighbours home Carnation !! I did a similar thing ( trying to be sociable ) yesterday, and oh what an effort it is. Half of my brain is telling me to make a run for it, and the other half telling me to just "get on with it ". I can't wait for these experiences to get a bit easier during recovery. As Buster says, anxiety certainly does take the enjoyment out of life !! Onward and upward again I guess, but I have to say, the urge to just stay under the duvet some days is truly overwhelming . Take care SM x

[Carnation]

I overslept!!!!!

Two hours behind schedule and as I race to the kitchen to get the breakfast going, which was fast catching up with lunchtime, I am half thinking of cancelling.
I hate rushing, I was anxious about going anyway and it was pouring with rain.
No, I thought. I can do this and apart from that, I will only have to get all worked up again about it next time.
I had to find something reasonable to wear, which I hate, because I normally just grab whatever is hanging over the back of the chair. Dressing up becomes extinct with anxiety. As you know, it's the least of our worries when it is a hard task to get dressed at all.

Just about made it in time. Picked up the neighbour, who looked ten times better than me and went on our way. I had verbal diarrhoea all the way there; I do this when I am nervous. Arrived at this little quaint pub with colourful hanging baskets, thatched roof and strawberry pink walls. Real picture postcard stuff. It looked beautiful and inviting.
We went inside and ordered a drink and was then shown to our table.
There I clock a log fire burning; I am already flushing hot with anxiety and panicky about the thought of sitting in a strange place, worried about the quality of the food and wondering if I am going to plead to my other half to leave.
Still with verbal diarrhoea and fidgeting with stuff on the table. (I like to move the salt and pepper pot around in different ) We ordered and carried on talking loads of rubbish. My poor neighbour couldn't get a word in and kept tilting her head sideways; probably thinking that she should have cancelled.

The food arrived. It looked good, it tasted good and I didn't choke. So that was one hurdle over with.
Then to my surprise, my neighbour asked me about my anxiety and how it affects me and what causes it? Wow! I wasn't expecting that.
She knew about my condition, because Mr C told her I was having some private sessions with a therapist.
I thought, "If I talk about this, it might set me off".
But no, she had the decency to ask, so I explained as best as I could, trying not to bore the pants off of the poor woman.
She then came back with, "I have problems with socialising too!"

I wonder how many people are in the cupboard so-to-speak with fears and phobias, but don't want to admit this to anyone.

All in all, it was a pleasant lunch, interesting conversation and over two hours of sitting in a unfamiliar place with anxiety in the background.
Journey home was a relief as was my day.

I did it.

Pulisa, I like to think I am making progress. Time will only tell that. x

Buster, I amazingly didn't spill any tea. What is normal? I have no idea anymore.

SM, It is easy to stay in the comfort of your duvet, but we know deep down that is not good for us. Well done for achieving your visit. x

Until next time......

[fishman65]

You seem to be on a journey of self discovery Carnation!! You amaze me, honestly. Be very proud of yourself.

It sounds like your neighbour is still 'in the closet'. Perhaps you were both benefiting from therapy today

[Carnation]

Thanks fishman. Its more about coping and facing demons.
The battle is up and down as you will know yourself.

[pulisa]

I think a lot of people have difficulties which they will only share with others if they feel comfortable in their company. None of us know what goes on inside people's heads, even those who apparently are really confident and outgoing..

Well done on another achievement, Carnation! In a way it was good that you overslept because it made it less of an anticipatory wait until lunchtime for you.

[Buster70]

Another hurdle jumped , well done , don't you wish you could feel the way you do on the way but on the way there ? It's always a bit of a high after the event , I don't know about you but when I was younger it was the other way round a high on the way there .
Maybe the start of a beautiful freindship ? Most of us would love real life nutty freind , a man would never open up like that we'd just struggle on and talk about football or cars .
Im terrible for the verbal diarrhoea ( glad auto spell just filled that word in two spellings ? ) better than actual diarrhoea on the way I sometimes walk away from a stranger shaking my head thinking what the hell was i just talking about .
Take care