Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

Probably like most of the population last night, the storm kept me awake most of the night and if it wasn't that, it was the heat. :( I don't sleep well at the best of times, but last night was quite impossible.
So, I'm grumpier than usual. Is that possible? Yes, it is.
I have zero energy and when I tried doing some meditation last night, all I could think about was being hot and quite close to finding a pair of scissors to cut off my mane of hair.
And it doesn't matter what I do with my pillows, it still feels like I'm lying my head on something that makes me sweat! I know, ladies perspire, but it's still sweat at the end of the day. Sticky and uncomfortable with a face that looks like a permanent blush.
The only thing about it is I'm not alone.
I had two texts this morning telling me they had a bad night and like me, their other halves slept through the whole night without a care in the world.
Mr C was snoring so loud I couldn't tell if it was thunder or him in the end. I had to prod him quite a few times and as he mumbled, "what's wrong", I quickly responded with, "shut up!".
Another three nights of extreme heat and storms looming, I feel 'done in'.
It made me laugh when I looked online for tips on how to keep cool. The first thing that cropped up was how to keep your makeup intact. **** that. That's the least of my worries and as I'm wearing a European tan from the burning sun and red from the sweating, you'd be hard pushed to notice any makeup at all.
It's simple. Moisturiser, blemish the dark circles and lip balm with a touch of colour.
I haven't been able to wear mascara since having hay fever, it just collects more pollen. Same with eyeliner, it just irritates my eyes. And half the time I'm mopping my brow with cool water to mop up the perspiration.
No, I couldn't really find any good tips online that I didn't already know about and not one of them said, "Go into the kitchen and open your freezer door for a few minutes" while you stand in front of it feeling some relief.
Keep cool everyone.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Wish I had a magic wand that could solve this for you but it sounds like there is no solution except to accept it and try not to kill anyone while you're going through this. Can you just give up on trying to be functional? Perhaps put your entire life on hold until this heat wave passes. Can you just wake up and head to the beach (where I assume it's a little cooler?) and maybe even catch up on some sleep there? Then head home with some take-out food, sit in front of the TV with a fan blowing on you, and perhaps even sleep on the couch? The couch suggestion comes from your comment about snoring. Been there, done that! I remember those nights where the anger and frustration builds more and more with each of our spouses' breath. And you fantasize about the different ways of silencing them, but since most of them involved bodily harm, you poke them and hope the silence will last more than 30 seconds.

If Mr. C's snoring is a nightly thing, then it is more than likely negatively affecting his health and can ultimately be dangerous. Once we finally convinced my husband to get a sleep test ("we" being myself, his doctor, and a marriage counselor!) it was found that he stopped breathing several times in the course of the night. He now wears a CPAP machine each evening and not only am I a happier spouse, but his health has improved SO MUCH. And he's no longer tired and falling asleep throughout the day. Just food for thought.

You need some sleep. Spritz yourself with water and sit in front of a fan, and consider sleeping in another room for a while. This heat wave is dangerous, and not getting proper sleep makes the body less able to tolerate it.
Sue

[Carnation]

I'm definitely the one with the sleep problem. I can't get to sleep and once I do, I keep waking up.
As for the couch, well I won't go in to all the details but spent a good ten years sleeping on a couch when married before and I definitely wouldn't give up my bed now.
But I hear what you are saying and Mr C is not getting good quality sleep, so may look in to that.
Unfortunately I haven't slept well since we moved and I use to snooze when watching tv, but for some reason I seem to be on high alert.
I'm going to grab the couch for TV viewing tonight, so maybe I'll catch a couple of hours before bedtime.

[Carnation]

I didn't get my crash on the sofa last night :(
My cat decided to keep me awake at all costs.
But I had a slightly better night's sleep. Mr C was not snoring so much and I managed to cool the bedroom down a notch. I still have my annoying trips to the loo. (3 times last night). Where does it all come from? I purposely don't drink anything for at least an hour before bedtime and it's as if I've been out on a pub crawl that evening.
Pleased to say Mr C is improving with the gout so he can fetch and carry himself now.
The heatwave is hopefully coming to an end and although I dread thunderstorms it will certainly be a relief at the end of it. I can honestly say I've got nothing done this week but the bare essentials. My stay cation ended up to the extreme of not going out at all. And doesn't daytime tv suck. So many pension and will adverts just makes you feel old watching them. So a lot of pausing and fast forwarding. I ended up searching for films set in the arctic or winter to make me think it was colder than what it actually was. It reached 32c yesterday and for by the sea, that's just ridiculously weird weather at it's extreme.
My anxiety was full on yesterday and I was not sure if I was sweating from the heat or anxiety or both. And what's happened to the wind we've had all year? Now we want it, it's disappeared.
So after this difficult week I feel I need that holiday. It was actually too hot for the beach, because there is no cover anywhere. Mr C has to be careful as he has already had two skin cancers removed, so that's why the beach hut appealed to us. I'm constantly worrying about him and reminding him to wear a hat and turn his shirt collar up. You'd think he'd remember himself, but he doesn't.
I basically think I need a sleeping holiday with plenty of being outside during the day. Hopefully I will be able to do both next week.

[Carnation]

You are probably sick of my moaning by now so I'm going to try not to touch that ground.
Although I will say it's still very hot and humid with a mild 27c today instead of a blistering 32c yesterday.
We had a storm last night but it only cooled it down a few notches and Mr C and I have become completely in active because of it. I can't really speak about any progress because of that, but I definitely know the heat has affected my anxiety. So it's a case of get this period out of the way and then get back on track.
I was reading a book yesterday, it was a book my mum bought me called, 'from mothers to daughters' and full of helpful ditties. I turned the page and read this, 'If you need rain, you have to put up with all the thunder and lightening that comes with it'. It was so apt because there was a storm at the time and its a massive phobia of mine.
Which made me think of other things that makes us fearful. And if you need something, sometimes you have to put up with being uncomfortable to get what you want. It doesn't necessarily mean that any harm will come to you. I know that now.
My mum was the complete opposite to me, very little frightened her and took everything in her stride, but it was as she got older and wiser. And going through cancer certainly puts everything in to perspective. If you can beat that, you can beat anything!
I don't think we do enough reading of literature these days, what with I pads, mobile phones, YouTube, Netflix and reality programmes, we probably see reading as boring, but it's not, it's helpful, it's soulful, it's relaxing.
It can change your mood from down to up, from desperate to comforting. So I'm giving books a huge positive push today.

[DustingMyselfOff]

There ya go! And reading books doesn't require any physical exertion, so it won't make you any hotter. Do it with a refreshing drink and a fan.... and let the "storms" pass.

I'm not sure if I'm physically ill again or if anxiety is causing me to feel physically lousy, or maybe a combination of both. My left ear definitely hurts when I swallow which means I have a blockage there (which is almost chronic with me) so I'll try clearing it the usual ways and if nothing works, I may see the doc because I really need it to clear before I fly in mid-August.

I started feeling anxious a few days ago (but couldn't understand why) but now that I'm being honest, there are probably three things causing it that I keep trying to deny cause me stress. 1. I drove my husband to and from a minor surgery yesterday. I knew it wasn't life-threatening or dangerous in any way, so I truly was not anxious or worried, but perhaps the simple change in my daily routine was enough to throw me. 2. We have plans to go to the casino tonight so my husband can see a concert he really is looking forward to, and I will play while he attends. This is a place that I love to be and have enjoyed immensely, but have also had episodes of feeling badly while there, so I guess my memory subconsciously worries about feeling badly while there again. and 3. I'm heading cross country in mid-August to spend 8 days with my daughter and grandchildren. Enjoyable, yes, and necessary if I want to be a part of their lives, but stressful. And as much as I tell myself that I'm fine with the travel and living out of my environment for a week, it's stressful. I keep telling myself that it's too early to be anxious about that and I should put that off until it gets closer, but we really can't control that, can we.

Life is a series of lessons and a learning process, so I need to try patience and realize that I'm doing a LOT better than I was 6 months ago and that improvement will continue, but that it won't happen overnight.
Sue

[Carnation]

I just wanted to get back to you before you went out tonight Sue.
Remember your coping skills, remember nothing terrible happened to you any of the other times, remember it's just adrenalin making you feel that way, remember to to take those trips to the loo and you'll be fine. x

[Carnation]

Hi Sue, I absolutely believe any event that can either be a trigger or a fear can ramp up the anxiety well before it's happened. And so can health anxiety when something appears on our bod that that makes you think, "what is that, should I see a doc, have I had it before, does it mean something more?" Those thoughts will niggle away at you until it actually goes away, sometimes even after you've seen a doc.
We are so hyper aware of anything suspicious.
A few years ago I remember panicking over my hands being more red than usual and went running to Mr C shouting, "look at my hands, there's something wrong with them, they are internally bleeding!"
Mr C with a grin said, "you stupid woman, you've been cutting beetroot". And that's how it can affect you. I'd been cutting beetroot an hour previous, washed my hands in a hurry and hey presto, the residue had turned my hands pink!
The same when I had blue hands and thought I was going into some sort of freezing body thing.
What had actually happened was a new pair of jeans I had left dye residue on my hands. It was all over my legs too.
What I am saying is, it's not always something serious although we might automatically think that.
I have sensitive ears. Sometimes I have a bright red ear, just the one and to not help it I pull it, scrutinise it, scrub it and make it worse and despite that, it's back to normal the next day.
I also get shooting pains in my ears, but I know it's sinus issues. I get that thing where you go deaf momentarily, which is normally down to wax build up and I get the thing where you can hear your heart pounding from your ear which is so common. Irritating, but not deadly.
It's so hard with health anxiety and to be honest we could be at the docs every day with our worries.
But if we occasionally just say to ourselves, "I've had this before, I've a good idea what it is, I'm probably over obsessing", it might just help a little.
Sue, I don't know how you do these trips to your daughters on your own. So you are allowed to feel anxious, of course you are. But it's the prize at the end that gives you the courage and isn't that what life is all about?
Rewards for hard-work, pride from bringing up a family, pleasure for something you like.
You know the drill on this one Sue. The doubts, the anxiety, the decision changing.
Put that in your worry drawer for now, you have other stuff in the meantime. If it crops up niggling you, just say to yourself, "yep, I know I'm worrying about it, but it's too early and I don't need to think about it now". x

Yippee!!!!
It's cooled down. What a difference it's made.
I can actually breathe better, move quicker and get some things done.
It's like I've been given a new tank of oxygen.
So what if it's raining. We need it and I've never been so pleased to greet it.
And that's not anxiety, it's a normal person fed up with being over hot, over baked, sweating every time you move, not sleeping and making you grumpy.
Thank God for nature.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hi there.
I don't think I suffer from health anxiety, I'm really good at shrugging off any new bumps, lumps, discolorations, heart palpitations, and the weird things my ear does. I never panic thinking it's something serious, but instead my challenge is figuring out, when I feel "lousy" (slightly feverish, fatigued, stomach issues, headache) if that's anxiety or if it's a virus. If I can confirm it's viral, then I know I need to take it easy, let it pass, and not worry about what might be bothering me emotionally. If it's NOT viral, then I drive myself nuts trying to figure out what's bothering me emotionally that's causing me to feel lousy.

So I'm going to try to accept that it's OK to have some anxiety symptoms from my husband's surgery, the casino, and the upcoming travel. Now I need to figure out what to DO with it. I guess tell myself it's OK to have anxiety about it?

Regarding my long flights cross country and a week at my daughter's house, I'm honestly amazed that I do it, too. I think what drives me is the overwhelming desire to feel "normal" and not let anxiety ruin the important things in my life. And the feeling of victory, triumph, success, and independence when it's over is so rewarding! So I'm going to tell myself that it's normal to be anxious about it, and that I should expect to feel some physical symptoms of anxiety over the next few weeks, but that I've been there before, it won't be intolerable, and it's going to happen whether I want to go or not so "suck it up, Buttercup!"

I am so glad you're getting relief from the heat! And I totally understand embracing the rain.... I said to my sister just the other day that this probably sounds stupid, but when I wake up in the morning and look out the window, I get angry that the sun is shining again and I wish it would rain! So there's the validation that the weather can affect our anxiety, too. Embrace the relief, and hope it lasts a while!

Thanks for all being here for support and camaraderie!
Sue

[Carnation]

Sue, I admire the way you deal with stuff and you turn into a power machine when problems arise. That's your survival mode kicking in. You have great determination, masses of curiosity and a lust for life.
But you are still tending to look in to the future too much.
Make plans by all means, but plans can get changed. Try to be a bit more spontaneous, because I think your work has left you with still organising everything including the future.
You can still organise house stuff, but personal stuff needs to be more off the cuff, otherwise your life will just be one long line of events being ticked off like a schedule.
Remember that trip you and Mr D took to the coast and had an ice cream leaning on the car? More of that!

I had a blissfully cool day.
What a difference. I felt better, got some chores done, actually managed to wear clothes without sweating. I could go outside, breathe more comfortably, not wear a hat that actually makes you feel hotter and cook in the kitchen without breaking out in to a sweat.
I've also slept better the last couple of nights.

I've been thinking about my late mum again, probably because I have been reading a book she gave me as a gift one year.
I'm realising that I'm still grieving two years on, but more memories are coming back of times when we laughed, did things together and moments when she did those little things that made you feel special.
It wasn't all roses with my mum, far from it, but for some reason, the darker moments are fading and the rarer better times are becoming more apparent.
I had a few a sessions of therapy concerning my mum and my therapist came to the conclusion that my mum found it difficult to love and even love herself.
She put it this way....
"Your mum did her best with her circumstances".
Well you could say that about anxiety.
I will never know the true demons that haunted my mum. She kept everything inside and was angry most of the time. She didn't seem happy in her life and her last words to me, "I just want you to be happy" stay with me always.
I always have a little cry when I think of those words as I find myself fighting each day with anxiety.
Mum knew in the end how bad I had got and it pained her to see me that way.
And lately I see everything as a challenge rather than just being. Although I get great joy from the garden and just sitting somewhere and being and a rare trip to the sea.
But it's day to day life and all the unpleasant trimmings of worry and health and how will I cope that haunt me.
I become so tired and listless and that isn't the person I used to be.
I feel I need more knowledge, more tools for coping, more inspiration.
So I've ordered yet another book to digest and hopefully give me that light bulb moment.
If it doesn't, then I'll try something else and keep trying, because I really don't want to spend my life being fearful of going to a shop, town, a visitor or even going out at all.
I don't want to give in!